DAILY CHRONICLE #15 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 15 VOL 11

 

JUNE 15^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; HOT-HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 74/103 DEGREES

 

WE HAD A GOOD TURN OUT FOR THE FATHERS DAY “POT LUCK” LUNCH! MIKE CALLED FIRST THING AND SAID HE WAS WORKING ON ONE OF HIS BOSSES HOUSES SO THE RENTER COULD MOVE IN! TIM, ELYSE AND THE KIDS SHOWED UP SOON AFTER MIKE CALLED, THEN SHANNON AND KONNER, KELLY CAME UP AND GLENDA HAD TO WAIT FOR HALEY JO TO WAKE UP THEN THEY CAME UP! WE ALL VISITED AND THE KIDS PLAYED ON THE FLOOR! TIM AND I TALKED ABOUT THE INTREPID PROBLEMS AND WENT OUT BUT COULDN’T FIND WHERE TO PLUG THE DRB II IN SO WE COULD CHECK IT OUT GOING DOWN THE ROAD, OH WELL, I’LL FIND THE PROBLEM! TIM NOTICED A SHORT PIGTAIL WIRE STICKING OUT FROM UNDER THE INTAKE PLENIUM, WE TRIED TO FIND A SENSOR WITHOUT A PLUG BUT EVERYTHING WE COULD FIND HAD WIRES PLUGGED IN TO IT! I WAS TRYING TO TRACE IT DOWN BY COLOR CODE BUT IT DOESN’T SHOW IN THE “GENERAL” SCHEMATICS THEY PUT IN THE MANUAL!

 

AFTER EVERYONE HAD LEFT PEGGY CALLED AND WISHED ME A HAPPY FATHERS DAY! WE TALKED ABOUT THINGS OUT IN CALIFORNIA, HER RACE CAR AND THE PROBLEMS THEY’RE HAVING WITH IT! HER ADOPTED DAUGHTER, KAILYN TOTALED HER TAHOE PICKUP, THEN A WEEK LATER HER HUSBAND BLEW THE TRANSMISSIN IN HIS DODGE DAKOTA! AND KAILYN WAS TO GO TO WORK ON A NEW JOB THE FOLLOWING MONDAY! BOTH PICK UPS DOWN AT THE SAME TIME! PEGGY DIDN’T SAY WHAT THEY DID BUT THEY MUST HAVE HANDLED IT!

PEGGY’S GOING TO TAKE HER RACE CAR BACK TO THE DYNAMOMETER NEXT FRIDAY TO CHECK AND SEE IF THE CHANGES THEY MADE CORRECTED THE PROBLEMS THEN, THEY RACE THE FOLLOWING WEEK END AT BAKERSFIELD!

SHE HAD A 1995 INTREPID AND I WAS TELLING HER ABOUT THE PROBLEMS WE’RE HAVING WITH OURS! AS SOON AS I TOLD HER IT SLOWS DOWN ON A SLIGHT PULL AND EVEN THOUGH I PUSH ON THE ACCELERATOR THE SPEED DOESN’T INCREASE BUT THE RPMs DO SHE SAID THE “MASS AIR SENSOR”! SHE HAD THE SAME THING WITH THE RACE CAR SO TOMORROW I’M GOING TO FIND WHAT CHRYSLER CALLS IT, THE BOOK CALLS IT THE “AIR TEMBERATURE SENSOR”! THEY’RE BOTH IN THE INTAKE MANIFOLD! THAT COULD BE WHAT THAT PIGTAIL PLUGS INTO, WE’LL SEE!

 

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

A JEWISH MAN WALKS INTO A BAR AND SITS DOWN. HE HAS A FEW DRINKS  THEN,  HE SEES A CHINESE MAN SETTIN AT THE OTHER END OF THE BAR AND WALKS UP TO HIM AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE.

"OUCH!"  THE CHINESE MAN SAYS. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"THAT WAS FOR PEARL HARBOR," THE JEWISH MAN SAYS.

"BUT I'M CHINESE!" "CHINESE, JAPANESE, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?" AND THE JEWISH MAN SITS BACK DOWN.

THEN, THE CHINESE MAN WALKS UP TO THE JEWISH MAN AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE.

"OUCH!" THE JEWISH MAN SAYS. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"THAT WAS FOR THE TITANIC," THE CHINESE MAN SAYS.

"BUT THE TITANIC HIT AN ICEBERG!"

"ICE BERG, GOLDBERG, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?"

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #14 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

 

NUMBER 14 VOL 11

 

JUNE 14^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 73/96 DEGREES

 

WELL, IT’S BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD, THE RADIATOR I TRIED TO FIX ON THE INTREPID STILL LEAKS, NOT BAD JUST A LITTLE! THE NEXT STEP IS TO USE A SOLDERING GUN AND AN OLD TOOTH BRUSH HANDLE AND TRY TO WELD THE PLACE IT LEAKS FROM! I’VE DONE THIS BEFORE ON A BROKEN PLASTIC FAN BLADE! OR LIKE MOM SUGGESTED WE CAN TRY ‘HOT GLUE’, WE’LL TRY ANYTHING TO KEEP FROM BUYING A NEW RADIATOR!

 

ALSO, WE TOOK THE INTREPID TO CHURCH TONIGHT AND IT STILL LOSES POWER ON A SLIGHT INCLINE, IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A HILL!  I HAVE TO KEEP GOING INTO PASSING GEAR TO GET IT UP TO SPEED!

I’VE REALLY BEEN GIVING THIS SITUATION SOME THOUGHT AND I CAN’T REMEMBER THIS CONDITION WITH THE OTHER TRANSMISSIONS, THE ORIGINAL ONE WOULDN’T PULL IN FORWARD AFTER IT GOT HOT THE NEXT ONE WE PUT IN WOULD ONLY PULL IN LOW OR REVERSE! NEITHER ONE OF THEM LOST POWER ON A SLIGHT INCLINE SO I’VE COME DOWN TO SOMETHING ON OR IN THE TRANSMISSION!

WHEN RUNNING IN OVERDRIVE IT DOESN’T SHIFT INTO OVERDRIVE UNLESS I PLAY WITH THE THROTTLE! THIS COULD BE THE ‘SPEED SENSOR’ THAT’S ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE TRANSMISSION! IT’S POSSIBLE WE KNOCKED THE WIRE OFF WHILE PUTTING THE TRANSMISSION IN OR BROKE THE SENSOR ITSELF!  IT TELLS THE PCM WHEN TO MAKE THE TRANSMISSION SHIFT AND HELPS KEEP THE SPEED LEVEL WHILE RUNNING UP OR DOWN HILLS!

BECAUSE OF ALL THE PASSING GEAR AND OTHER PROBLEMS THE MPG IS ABOUT 10 AS CLOSE AS I CAN FIGURE SO WE’RE GOING TO KEEP DRIVING THE ACCLAIM TILL THE INTREPID IS RIGHT!

I’M GOING TO ASK TIM AND KELLY TO TAKE THE CAR OUT AND DRIVE IT TO SHERMAN OR DURANT AND SEE HOW IT ACTS! BUT FIRST I’M GOING TO ASK ONE OF THEM TO SEE IF THE WIRE IS OFF THE SPEED SENSOR OR THE SENOR IS BROKEN! I MAY ASK THEM TO REMOVE THE SENSOR TO SEE IF ITS GUMMED UP INSIDE! IT’S JUST ABOUT GOT TO BE IN OR ON THE TRANSMISSION!

WE HAVE A DRB II ANALYZER THAT WE’LL PLUG IN TO THE ELECTRONICS TO CHECK ALL SYSTEMS!

TIM, ELYSE AND THE KIDS WILL BE HERE FOR THE ‘POT LUCK’ WERE HAVING FOR FATHERS DAY! THE OTHER TIMES WE HAD A DOINGS KELLY /TIM ENDED UP DOING ALL THE COOKING ON THE GRILL! THIS TIME THEY CAN SIT AROUND AND VISIT WHICH IS HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE!

 

AN RCMP OFFICER

 

AN RCMP OFFICER STOPS A DRIVER FOR RUNNING A RED LIGHT THE GUY IS A REAL JERK AND COMES RUNNING BACK TO THE OFFICER DEMANDING TO KNOW WHY HE IS
BEING HARASSED BY THE GESTAPO! SO THE OFFICER CALMLY TELLS HIM OF THE
RED LIGHT VIOLATION. THE 'MOTORIST' INSTANTLY GOES ON A TIRADE,
QUESTIONING THE OFFICER'S ANCESTRY, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, ETC., IN RATHER EXPLICIT TERMS.
 
THE TIRADE GOES ON WITHOUT THE OFFICER SAYING ANYTHING.
WHEN HE GETS DONE WITH WRITING THE TICKET HE PUTS AN 'AH' IN THE LOWER
RIGHT CORNER OF THE NARRATIVE PORTION OF THE TICKET.
HE THEN HANDS IT TO THE 'VIOLATOR' FOR HIS SIGNATURE. THE GUY SIGNS
THE TICKET ANGRILY, AND WHEN PRESENTED WITH HIS COPY POINTS TO
THE 'AH' AND DEMANDS TO KNOW WHAT IT STANDS FOR.
 
THE MOUNTIE SAYS, 'THAT'S SO WHEN WE GO TO COURT, I'LL REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!'
TWO MONTHS LATER THEY'RE IN COURT. THE 'VIOLATOR' HAS SUCH A BAD DRIVING RECORD HE IS ABOUT TO LOSE HIS LICENCE AND HAS HIRED A LAWYER TO REPRESENT HIM. ON THE STAND THE OFFICER TESTIFIES TO SEEING THE MAN
RUN THE RED LIGHT. UNDER CROSS EXAMINATION THE DEFENCE ATTORNEY ASKS; 'OFFICER IS THIS A REASONABLE FACSIMILE OF THE TICKET YOU ISSUED MY CLIENT?'
OFFICER RESPONDS, 'YES SIR, THAT IS THE DEFENDANTS COPY, HIS SIGNATURE AND MINE, SAME NUMBER AT THE TOP.
LAWYER: 'OFFICER, IS THERE ANY PARTICULAR MARKING OR NOTATION ON THIS TICKET YOU DON'T NORMALLY MAKE?'
OFFICER: 'YES SIR, IN THE LOWER RIGHT CORNER  OF THE NARRATIVE THERE IS
AN 'AH,' UNDERLINED.'
LAWYER: 'WHAT DOES THE AH STAND FOR, OFFICER?'
OFFICER: 'AGGRESSIVE AND HOSTILE SIR.'
LAWYER: 'AGGRESSIVE AND HOSTILE?'
OFFICER: 'YES SIR?
LAWYER: 'OFFICER, ARE YOU SURE IT DOESN'T STAND FOR ASSHOLE?'
OFFICER: 'WELL SIR, YOU KNOW YOUR CLIENT BETTER THAN I DO!

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

 

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #13 VOL 11

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13^TH! THIS IS OUR LUCKY DAY! LILLIAN AND HOWARD HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 13 VOL 11

 

JUNE 13^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 72/97 DEGREES

 

I WENT OUT AND PUT THE GLUE AND PLASTIC ON THE PLACE THAT LEAKED ON THE INTREPID RADIATOR! I WON’T KNOW IF IT STOPPED THE LEAK TILL I FILL IT WITH ANTI FREEZE AND START IT TOMORROW! WE SURE HOPE IT WORKS, A NEW RADIATOR IS $150.00!

 

KELLY’S SUPPOSED TO PUT THE TOP BOLT IN THE LEFT REAR SHOCK ON THE ACCLAIM TOMORROW!

 

COLLEEN CALLED AND WISHED ME A HAPPY FATHERS DAY, SHE AND DICK ARE LEAVING TONIGHT FOR SAN ANTONIO TO SEE DICKS SISTER-IN-LAWS DAUGHTER GET MARRIED ON SATURDAY!

 

SHANNON CALLED MOM TO SEE WHAT TO DO ABOUT KONNER, HE SPITS OUT HIS MEDICINE AND IS HURTING FROM HAVING HIS TONSELS OUT AND NEW TUBES PUT IN HIS EARS! OF COURSE HE’S HURTING, WHAT DOES SHE EXPECT? FEED HIM ICE CREAM WITH HIS MEDICINE IN IT AND JELLO! I’M SURPRISED THEY DIDN’T TELL HER THAT!

 

TIM CALLED AND SAID THEY FOUND THE PIPE THAT HAD TO BE REPLACED YESTERDAY AND PUT A 4FTX4FT HOLE IN THE FLOOR! TODAY THEY WERE REPLACING THE TILE, CARPET AND I GUESS THE HARD WOOD FLOORING PLUS ANYTHING ELSE THAT WAS RUINED WHEN THE SEWER PIPE BROKE UNDER THE SLAB! HE WAS WAITING FOR THE ADJUSTER!

 

GARY LATINIS CALLED THE OTHER DAY AND ASKED ME TO FIND THE PHONE NUMBER OF THE STORE IN SHERMAN THAT DEALS IN OLD RECORDS! LOIS ROBINSON HAS SOME LP AND 45 RPM RECORDS THAT WERE ROBBIES, ROBBIE DIED ABOUT A YEAR OR MORE AGO AND SHE WANTS TO SELL THEM! SHE ALSO HAS SOME OF ROBBIES ELECTRONIC TOOLS AND EQUIPMENT TO SELL! HE HAD WORKED FOR E-SYSTEMS FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS AND DESIGNED QUITE A FEW WEAPONS SYSTEMS FOR THE GOVERNMENT! HE WORKED WITH US PERFECTING THE HAND TESTER FOR A WHILE! TIM KNOWS HOW GOOD HE WAS SINCE THEY WORKED TOGETHER!

 

HERE’S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT!

 

POEM - ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS

I CROSS OCEAN,  POOR AND BROKE,

TAKE BUS,  SEE EMPLOYMENT FOLK.

NICE MAN  TREAT ME GOOD IN THERE,  SAY I NEED GO SEE WELFARE.

WELFARE SAY,  'YOU COME NO MORE,

WE SEND CASH  RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR.'

WELFARE CHECKS,  THEY MAKE YOU WEALTHY,

MEDICAID IT KEEP YOU HEALTHY!

BY AND BY,  GOT PLENTY MONEY,

THANKS TO YOU,  TAXPAYER DUMMY.

WRITE TO FRIENDS  IN MOTHERLAND,

TELL THEM  'COME, FAST AS YOU CAN'

THEY COME IN TURBANS  AND FORD TRUCKS,

I BUY BIG HOUSE  WITH WELFARE BUCKS.

THEY COME HERE,  WE LIVE TOGETHER,

MORE WELFARE CHECKS,  IT GETS BETTER!

FOURTEEN FAMILIES,  THEY MOVING IN,

BUT NEIGHBOR'S PATIENCE  WEARING THIN.

FINALLY, WHITE GUY  MOVES AWAY,

.

.

I BUY HIS HOUSE,  AND THEN I SAY,

'FIND MORE ALIENS  FOR HOUSE TO RENT.'

IN MY YARD  I PUT A TENT.

SEND FOR FAMILY  THEY JUST TRASH,

.

BUT THEY, TOO,  DRAW WELFARE CASH!

EVERYTHING IS  VERY GOOD,  SOON WE OWN WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.

WE HAVE HOBBY  IT CALLED BREEDING,

WELFARE PAY  FOR BABY FEEDING.

KIDS NEED DENTIST?  WIFE NEED PILLS?

WE GET FREE!  WE GOT NO BILLS!

TAXPAYER CRAZY!  HE PAY ALL YEAR,  TO KEEP WELFARE  RUNNING HERE.

WE THINK AMERICA  DARN GOOD PLACE!  TOO DARN GOOD FOR WHITE MAN RACE.  IF THEY NO LIKE US,  THEY CAN SCRAM,  GOT LOTS OF ROOM IN PAKISTAN.  SEND THIS TO EVERY TAXPAYER YOU KNOW  THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE   HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #12 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 12 VOL 11

 

JUNE 12^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; HOT, HI HUMIDITY, 72/92 DEGREES

 

 KELLY GOT HOME AND TRIED TO OPEN THE DRAIN PETCOCK AND IT WAS STUCK SO WE OPENED THE BLEEDER VALVE ON TOP OF THE THERMOSTAT HOUSING TO DRAIN THE ANTI FREEZE DOWN TO A LEVEL BELOW THE PLACE THAT LEAKS! IT GOT PRETTY HOT OUT BY THE CAR SO I CAME IN TO WAIT FOR THE SUN TO GO BELOW THE TREES! I WENT BACK OUT AND CHECKED THE LEAK AND IT’S STILL SEEPING ANTI FREEZE SO I’LL HAVE TO GET THE AIR HOSE AND BLOW INTO THE COOLING SYSTEM TO GET ALL THE WATER BELOW THE LEAK!

 

MOM IS GOING DOWN TO KELLY’S EVERY MORNING TO HELP GLENDA GET RID OF A BUNCH OF JUNK SO THEY CAN TEAR DOWN THE TWO “HENSLEE” MOBILE HOMES WE MOVED DOW FROM UP FRONT AT GRANDMA LEES LAND IN 1978 I THINK! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO DO WITH THE TWO FRAMES EXCEPT SELL THEM FOR SCRAP! I DON’T KNOW WHAT STEEL IS BRINGING BUT IT’S WAY UP FROM WHAT I REMEMBER ABOUT 15 YEARS AGO WHICH WAS $1.50 A HUNDRED WT.

 

MOM’S ALWAYS SUPRISING ME WITH DESERTS, TONIGHT IT WAS TAPIOCA PUDDING WITH SLICED PEACES AND COOL WHIP! TOMORROW IT COULD BE STRAWBERRY SWIRL ICE CREAM OR BANNANA BREAD AND COOL WHIP OR GRAHAM CRACKERS WITH COOL WHIP OR PEANUT BUTTER IN BETWEEN OR SOME COOKIES SHE’S MADE! I JUST NEVER KNOW BUT IT’S ALL GOOD!

 

BRANDY TO THE RESCUE

FOR A HOLIDAY, AN IRISHMAN DECIDED TO GO TO SWITZERLAND TO FULFILL A LIFELONG DREAM AND CLIMB THE MATTERHORN. HE HIRED A GUIDE AND JUST AS THEY NEARED THE TOP, THE MEN WERE CAUGHT IN A SNOW SLIDE.

THREE HOURS LATER, A SAINT BERNARD PLOWED THROUGH TO THEM, A KEG OF BRANDY TIED UNDER HIS CHIN.

"HOORAY!" SHOUTED THE GUIDE "HERE COMES MAN'S BEST FRIEND!"

"YEAH," SAID THE IRISHMAN. "AN' LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THE DOG THAT'S BRINGIN' IT!"

ESCAPED

THREE CONVICTS ESCAPE FROM PRISON THEY MAKE IT TO A NEARBY TOWN BUT ARE CONFRONTED BY A POLICEMAN.

"HEY, AREN'T YOU THOSE THREE ESCAPED CONVICTS?", ASKED THE POLICEMAN.

THINKING ON HIS FEET THE FIRST CONVICT LOOKED AROUND HIM FOR SOMETHING TO ANSWER THE POLIEMAN WITH , HE SEES A NAME ON A JEWLERS WINDOW  MARK SPENCER, MASTER JEWELER “AND SAID "NO, I'M MARK, MARK SPENCER."

"THE SECOND FOLLOWED HIS LEAD AND SAID "MY NAMES IS WILLIAM, W H SMITH."

THE THIRD SAID "MY NAME IS KEN... KEN TUCKYFRIEDCHICKEN!"

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

.

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE # 11 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 11 VOL 11

 

JUNE 11^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 70/90 DEGREES

 

NOT MUCH DOING TODAY, SHANNON FINALLY GOT HER CAR BACK, THAT’S A PLUS! SHE HAS TO HAVE KONNER TO THE HOSPITAL AT 6:45 AM TOMORROW, HE’S GOING TO HAVE HIS TONSELS OUT AND NEW TUBES PUT IN HIS EARS!

 

I LEFT THE HOOD UP ON THE INTREPID HOPING KELLY WOULD COME UP AND OPEN THE RADIATOR DRAIN FOR ME SO THE ANTI FREEZE LEEL WILL GO BELOW WHERE I HAVE TO TRY AND FIX THE SMALL LEAK! HE’S ALSO SUPPOSED TO HAVE GOTTEN A NEW BOLT FOR THE TOP MOUNT ON THE LEFT REAR SHOCK, WE THOUGHT IT WAS A BROKEN SHOCK BUT HE FOUND THE TOP BOLT GONE, NOT YET!

 

MOM AND I ARE DOING OK, WE STILL HAVE THE ACHES AND PAINS OLD PEOPLE HAVE! I HAVE TO CORRECT THAT; “I”, HAVE THE ACHES AND PAINS OLD PEOPLE HAVE, MOM’S NOT OLD YET, 39 AND HOLDING! BUT, WE’RE DOING OK!

 

THE LAST I HEARD COLLEEN AND DICK ARE DOING FINE, HE HAS TO DO HIS MOWING IN THE EARLY MORNING AND LATE AFTERNOON, IT’S TO HOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!

 

MIKE AND CINDY MUST BE DOING OK, WE DON’T HEAR MUCH FROM THEM!

 

KERRY AND DEBI WERE DOING OK THE LAST I HEARD FROM THEM! KERRY SENT ME A MAGAZINE HE GETS ABOUT THINGS LIKE HIS COMPANY DOES! THERE’S A FULL PAGE TELLING ALL ABOUT HIS COMPANY, “EPIC DIVERS & MARINE!” FROM THE AD IT’S A PRETTY BIG COMPANY AND WE’RE GOING TO GET DOWN THERE ONE OF THESE WEEKENDS TO SEE HIS PART OF IT BE!

 

TIM AND ELYSE ARE DOING OK THEY’RE WAITING FOR THE CONTRACTOR THAT GOT THE BID ON FIXING THEIR PLUMBING TO GET STARTED!

 

KELLY AND GLENDA HAVE HAD VISITORS FROM OUT OF TOWN SINCE LAST SATURDAY!

 

PEGGY SENDS ME SOME REAL NEAT E-MAILS FROM TIME TO TIME AND I FORWARD THEM TO ALL ON MY LIST! SHE TOOK HER CAR TO SOME RACING SHOP AND HAD IT PUT ON A DYNAMOMETER TO SEE IF THEY COULD FIND THE PROBLEMS, SHE WROTE BACK THAT THEY HAD DONE IT BUT DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT SOLUTIONS! THEIR NEXT RACE DAYS ARE JUNE 28^TH-29^TH, SURE SEEMS LIKE A LONG TIME BETWEEN RACES BUT I GUESS SINCE THEY’RE NEW AT THE TRACK IN BAKERSFIELD, CA. THEY HAVE TO GO BY THE TRACK SCHEDULE!

 

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, A REALLY GOOD READ!

 

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING   A MESSAGE EVERY ADULT SHOULD READ BECAUSE CHILDREN ARE WATCHING YOU AND DOING AS YOU DO, NOT AS YOU SAY.    WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I SAW YOU HANG MY FIRST PAINTING ON THE REFRIGERATOR, AND I IMMEDIATELY WANTED TO PAINT ANOTHER ONE.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I SAW YOU FEED A STRAY CAT, AND I LEARNED THAT IT WAS GOOD TO BE KIND TO ANIMALS.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I SAW YOU MAKE MY FAVORITE CAKE FOR ME, AND I LEARNED THAT THE LITTLE THINGS CAN BE THE SPECIAL THINGS IN LIFE.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I HEARD YOU SAY A PRAYER, AND I KNEW THAT THERE IS A GOD I COULD ALWAYS TALK TO, AND I LEARNED TO TRUST IN HIM.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I SAW YOU MAKE A MEAL AND TAKE IT TO A FRIEND WHO WAS SICK, AND I LEARNED THAT WE ALL HAVE TO HELP TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING, I SAW YOU GIVE OF YOUR TIME AND MONEY TO HELP PEOPLE WHO HAD NOTHING, AND I LEARNED THAT THOSE WHO HAVE SOMETHING SHOULD GIVE TO THOSE WHO DON'T.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I SAW YOU TAKE CARE OF OUR HOUSE AND EVERYONE IN IT, AND I LEARNED WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF WHAT WE ARE GIVEN.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I SAW HOW YOU HANDLED YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES, EVEN WHEN YOU DIDN'T FEEL GOOD, AND I LEARNED THAT I WOULD HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE WHEN I GROW UP.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I SAW TEARS COME FROM YOUR EYES, AND I LEARNED THAT SOMETIMES THINGS HURT, BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT TO CRY.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I SAW THAT YOU CARED, AND I WANTED TO BE EVERYTHING THAT I COULD BE.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I LEARNED MOST OF LIFE'S LESSONS THAT I NEED TO KNOW TO BE A GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE PERSON WHEN I GROW UP.   WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING I LOOKED AT YOU AND WANTED TO SAY, 'THANKS FOR ALL THE THINGS I SAW WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING.'   I AM SENDING THIS TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW   WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS,   BUT THINK THAT NO ONE EVER SEES.   LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT.   EACH OF US (PARENT, GRANDPARENT, AUNT, UNCLE, TEACHER, FRIEND) INFLUENCES THE LIFE OF A CHILD.    HOW WILL YOU TOUCH THE LIFE OF SOMEONE TODAY? JUST BY SENDING THIS TO SOMEONE ELSE, YOU WILL PROBABLY MAKE THEM AT LEAST THINK ABOUT THEIR INFLUENCE ON OTHERS. LIVE SIMPLY. LOVE GENEROUSLY. CARE DEEPLY. SPEAK KINDLY.    LEAVE THE REST TO GOD.   THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.   HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #9 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 9 VOL 11

 

JUNE 9^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; WARM, HIGH HUMIDITY, 70/90 DEGREES

 

MOM AND I WENT TO TOWN TODAY AND TO LUNCH! WE’RE STILL HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THE INTREPID THINGS WE THOUGHT WE HAD CURED NOW HAVE POPPED UP AGAIN! LOSES SPEED, POPS BACK THROUGH THE INTAKE ON A PULL, ROUGH IDLE AND SOMETHING NEW, A LEAK IN THE RIGHT HAND PLASTIC RADIATOR TANK, IT’S A SERIES OF SMALL CRACKS I THINK WE CAN FIX SINCE IT’S IN THE TOP END OF THE TANK WHERE IT’S FLAT! SOMEONE EITHER KNELT ON IT OR USED IT FOR A PLACE TO PUSH OFF FROM WHILE WORKING ON THE CAR! I’VE WONDERED WHY IT WAS GETTING HOT WHILE WE SAT IDLING, THE COOLING SYSTEM COULDN’T BUILD PRESSURE AND IT NEEDS THAT TO EFFECTIVELY COOL!  WE HAVE SOME DIFFERENT TYPES OF GLUE AND EPOXY SO WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIND SOMETHING THAT WILL WORK SO THAT’S MINE AND MOMS PROJECT FOR TOMORROW! ON THE CHANCE THE TRANSMISSION IS CAUSING THE PROBLEM I PUT A PT OF B-12 IN IT TODAY! IT SEEMS LIKE THE TRANSMISSION HAS A BRAKE IN IT THAT GET APPLIED AND WHEN I FLOOR IT, IT SHIFTS BACK INTO PASSING GEAR THEN IS OK FOR A LITTLE WHILE! WE’LL SEE! WE NEVER HAVE SERVICED THE TRANSMISSION, THE FLUID WAS SO CLEAN IT LOOKED NEW BUT THE PAN HADN’T BEEN OFF!

 

LEARNING TODAY

THE CHILD COMES HOME FROM HIS FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL. MOTHER ASKS, "WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?"

THE KID REPLIES, "NOT ENOUGH. I HAVE TO GO BACK TOMORROW."

AN EASY ENOUGH MISTAKE

A MAN AND A WOMAN WERE HAVING DINNER IN A FINE RESTAURANT. THEIR WAITRESS, TAKING ANOTHER ORDER AT A TABLE A FEW PACES AWAY NOTICED THAT THE MAN WAS SLOWLY SLIDING DOWN HIS CHAIR AND UNDER THE TABLE, WITH THE WOMAN ACTING UNCONCERNED.

THE WAITRESS WATCHED AS THE MAN SLID ALL THE WAY DOWN HIS CHAIR AND OUT OF SIGHT UNDER THE TABLE. STILL, THE WOMAN DINING ACROSS FROM HIM APPEARED CALM AND UNRUFFLED, APPARENTLY UNAWARE THAT HER DINING COMPANION HAD DISAPPEARED.

AFTER THE WAITRESS FINISHED TAKING THE ORDER, SHE CAME OVER TO THE TABLE AND SAID TO THE WOMAN, "PARDON ME, MA'AM, BUT I THINK YOUR HUSBAND JUST SLID UNDER THE TABLE."

THE WOMAN CALMLY LOOKED UP AT HER AND REPLIED FIRMLY, "NO HE DIDN'T. HE JUST WALKED IN THE DOOR."

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

 

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #8 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 8 VOL 11

JUNE 8^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM/COOL, HIGH HUMIDITY, 72/66/85 DEGREES

NOT MUCH GOING ON TODAY, WENT OUT AND SAT ON THE DECK AND LISTENED TO THE RAIN ON THE METAL ROOF! I JUST LOVE THAT SOUND, IT WAS SPRINKLING LIGHTLY THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE CLOUDS OPENED UP AND IT BECAME A DELUGE THAT LASTED ABOUT 20 MINUTES THEN WENT BACK TO A SPRINKLE! IT KEPT UP MOST OF THE AFTERNOON AND BY NIGHTFALL IT HAD PRETTY WELL STOPPED! THE WEATHER SHOWED WE GOT 1.34 INCHES AND WE HAVE NO COMPLAINT, WE NEED ALL WE CAN GET!

I WAS READING IN THE MANUAL ABOUT THE INTREPID AND FOUND OUT THERE’S A CERTAIN SEQUENCE YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW TO DO AN ACCURATE “KEY CODE CHECK” WHICH WE’LL DO TOMORROW THEN MAYBE WE’LL GET DIFFERENT NUMBERS THAN WHAT WE’VE BEEN GETTING!

TIM CALLED TODAY AND TOLD MOM SOMBODY RAN INTO THE BACK OF HIS “FOCUS” BUT DIDN’T DO MUCH DAMAGE EXCEPT TO THE BUMPER FIBER GLASS COVER! I HOPE HE TAKES IT TO A FORD DEALER AND GETS THE ESTIMATE! THE LAST ACCIDENT I HAD IT DIDN’T LOOK LIKE VERY MUCH DAMAGE TILL I GOT THE ESTIMATE, I FIGURED $5-600, THE ESTIMATE WAS $1,900 +! TIM ALSO SAID HIS LOWER BACK WAS BOTHERING HIM AND MOM TOLD HIM HE SHOULD GO HAVE IT CHECKED! WHEN MOM GOT HIT A FEW YEARS BACK IT WAS JUST A SLIGHT TAP ON THE REAR BUMPER, THE PICKUP JUST ROLLED INTO HER AT A STOP BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE WHIP LASH! YOU NEVER KNOW HOW THE BODY WILL REACT IN AN ACCIDENT!

WE HAVEN’T HEARD IF SHANNON GOT HER CAR BACK YET, WE SURE HOPE SO!

WOW, IT SOUNDS LIKE IT STARTED RAINING AGAIN, OH WELL, WE NEED IT AND MOM TURNED ALL THE A/Cs (3, TWO ½ TON AND ONE 1 AND A HALF TON) OFF AND OPENED THE DOORS AND WINDOWS!

GARY LATINIS CALLED TONIGHT HE IS IN LOUISIANA WITH AN OVERSIZED LOAD, A CAR CRUSHER GOING TO BATON ROUGE! IN LOUISIANA YOU HAVE TO GET THE HIGHWAY PATROL TO ESCORT WIDE LOADS, THE PEOPLE WON’T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO A FLAG CAR WITH FLASHING LIGHTS AND WARNING FLAGS! I WAS WITH GARY A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN HE HAD TO GO INTO LOUISIANA AND WE GOT A HIGHWAY PATROL TROOPER TO ESCORT US, WE CAME TO A BRIDGE THAT WAS JUST TWO LANES AND WE HAD A 16FT WIDE HOUSE ON, THE PATROLMAN WENT TO THE FAR END OF THE BRIDGE AND PARKED ACROSS THE ROAD, AN OLD MAN IN A JUNKY OLD PICKUP CAME UP TO HIM AND STARTED TO GO AROUND HIS CAR, THE PATROLMAN JUMPED OUT AND SAID SOMETHING TO THE MAN BUT HE STILL TRIED TO GO AROUND HIS CAR! THE TROOPER PULLED HIS WEAPON OUT AND AIMED IT AT THE WINDSHIELD OF THE PICKUP AND THE OLD MAN STOPPED AGAIN, THE TROOPER OPENED THE DOOR AND HELPED THE OLD MAN OUT THEN GOT IN AND BACKED THE PICKUP OFF THE ROAD INTO THE BAR DITCH AND MOTIONED US TO COME ON ACROSS THE BRIDGE, ON THE OTHER SIDE WE WAITED FOR THE PATROLMAN TO PULL THE PICKUP BACK ON THE ROAD AND GET IN HIS CAR AND GET AHEAD OF US! WHEN WE GOT TO OUR DESTINATION GARY ASKED HIM WHY HE PULLED THE PICKUP BACK ON THE ROAD? THAT OLD GUY NEVER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT BACK UP OUT OF THE DITCH AND I WOULD HAVE HAD TO DO IT ON MY WAY BACK! OF COURSE LOUISIANA IS /WAS A POLICE STATE SO THE LAW ENFORCEMENT PEOPLE DO JUST ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT!

HERE’S ANOTHER FUNNY FROM ACRAMAX

NORTH VS SOUTH

THE NORTH HAS COFFEE HOUSES, THE SOUTH HAS WAFFLE HOUSES.

THE NORTH HAS SWITCHBLADE KNIVES; THE SOUTH HAS LEE PRESS-ON NAILS.

THE NORTH HAS DOUBLE LAST NAMES; THE SOUTH HAS DOUBLE FIRST NAMES.

THE NORTH HAS INDY CAR RACES; THE SOUTH HAS STOCK CAR RACES.

THE NORTH HAS CREAM OF WHEAT, THE SOUTH HAS GRITS.

THE NORTH HAS GREEN SALADS, THE SOUTH HAS COLLARD GREENS.

THE NORTH HAS LOBSTERS, THE SOUTH HAS CRAWFISH.

THE NORTH HAS THE RUST BELT; THE SOUTH HAS THE BIBLE BELT.

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD