DAILY CHRONICLE #16 VOL 13

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 16 VOL 13

SATURDAY, AUGUST 16^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, LOW HUMIDITY, 70/93 DEGREES

IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T HEARD, MICHAEL PHELPS WON HIS 7^TH GOLD OLYMPIC MEDAL FRIDAY AND IS GOING FOR THE 8^TH ONE ON SATURDAY! THIS GUY IS ONE POWERFUL SWIMMER AND I WISH HIM LUCK! HE WAS INTERVIEWED WITH MARK SPITZ TONIGHT AND MARK CALLED HIM THE GREATEST OLYMPIC SWIMMER OF ALL TIMES! AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, MARK SPITZ WON 7 GOLD OLYMPIC MEDALS IN SWIMMING IN THE 1972 OLYMPICS!

MOM HAD TO GO AGAIN AND TAKE KYLIE TO MHMR. THEY’RE TRYING TO GET MOM TAKEN OFF THE PAPER WORK AS THE PERSON OF RECORD FOR HANDLING WHAT MONEY THE COUNTY, STATE SEND KYLIE AND DIDN’T GET HOME TILL ABOUT 2:30!

I CRANKED UP THE ACCLAIM AND DID MY CHECK OF THE ALTERNATOR, PUT A WRENCH ACROSS THE REAR BEARING WHILE THE ENGINE IS RUNNING, IF THE ALTERNATOR IS CHARGING THE WRENCH WILL BE HELD BY THE MAGNETISM IF IT’S NOT IT’LL FALL AWAY! IT FELL AWAY SO I PARKED THE CAR OUT OF THE WAY SO MOM COULD PULL IN WHERE WE USUALLY PARK!

KELLY HAD TO GET UP ON HIS ROOF AND DO SOME PATCHING THE WIND LIFTED THE ROLL ROOFING AND LET THE RAIN COME IN! I TOLD HIM TO WAIT TILL “MANANNA, THE RAIN WILL GO AWAY AND WHO WORRIES ABOUT A LEAK ON SUCH A PRETTY DAY?” I’M SURE YOU REMEMBER THE SONG? BUT HE SAID HE HAD TO FIX IT!

WE’VE GOT TO GET THE INTREPID FIXED BEFORE TUESDAY KELLY’S SUPPOSED TO WORK ON IT SATURDAY/SUNDAY!

TIM SURE GOT A NICE COMPLEMENT FROM ONE OF HIS CO-WORKERS, HERE’S WHAT HE HAD TO SAY:

David Tuttle
Supervisor, Technology Service Desk

Office of Technology & Customer Strategies

American Heart Association

---

From: Chad Loy
Sent: Friday, August 15, 2008 2:39 PM
To: David Tuttle
Subject: Tim Mahoney

Hi David,

I wanted to brag on one of your staff members, Tim. I’ve spoken with him a few times and each time he has been great! Today, like other situations, Tim stepped in when others could not help and as always, he resolved my issues very quickly. He is always friendly and extremely helpful. The AHA is very lucky to have Tim helping us out.

Thanks,

____________________________________

Chad Loy

Vice President ~ Youth Market

MAKES ME FEEL PROUD, OF COURE ALL THE MAHONEY KIDS ARE VERY GOOD AT WHAT THEY DO! RIGHT?

ONE MORE THING I DID AS I WAS GROWING UP! YEAH, RIGHT, GROWING UP, LOL!

IN HIGH SCHOOL I HAD A FRIEND NAMED JIM WILBUR! HE AND I USED TO DOUBLE DATE WITH TWINS! JIM HAD A BUDDY I’LL CALL PAUL BECAUSE I CAN’T REMEMBER HIS NAME!

PAUL HAD A 1934 CHEVY COUPE LIKE MINE ONLY MINE AS A ’33!

PAUL HAD PUT AN OLD LUBRIFINER OIL FILTER UNDER THE HOOD AND PUT A TIRE VALVE IN THE COVER, HE RAN AN AIR HOSE FROM THE TOP OF THE TANK TO A BUTTON INSIDE THE CAB AND A COPPER LINE FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE TANK TO THE EXHAUST MANIFOLD RIGHT ABOVE THE HEADER PIPE! HE FILLED THE TANK WITH KEROSENE! HE DEMONSTRATED IT IN HIS DRIVEWAY! HE STARTED THE ENGINE, GOT TI HOT AND PUSHED THE BUTTON IN THE CAB AFTER HE PUT 50LBS OF AIR IN THE TANK WITH THE KEROSENE! IN A MATTER OF SECONDS HE BLANKED OUT HALF THE NEIGHBORHOOD!

JIM AND I HEADED FOR OUR FAVORITE JUNK YARD AND FOUND A LUBRIFINER TANK A LITTLE SMALLER THAN PAULS! WE WENT BY CRAIGG BROS AUTO PARTS AND GOT A BRASS TRUCK TIRE VALVE STEM, AND AN AIR BLOW GUN PLUS RUBBER HOSE AND CLAMPS AND COPPER TUBING! I HAD THE TOOLS TO DO THIS IN MY FOLKS GARAGE OR THE BACK OF MY CAR!

AFTER WE GOT IT DONE WE TRIED IT OUT AND ALMOST BLANKED OUT THE WHOLE BLOCK WHERE I LIVED! I TOOK JIM HOME AND MADE A DATE TO PICK HIM UP TO GO TO A DRIVE IN MOVIE! WE WAITED TILL INTERMISSION AND STARTED UP THE ENGINE AND PUSHED THE BLOW GUN BUTTON THEN HEADED OUT, WE HAD ALEADY SEEN THE MOVIE! WE HEARD LATER THAT THE MOVIE WAS DELAYED FOR 30 MINUTES TILL THE WIND CLEARED THE AREA OF SMOKE!

THEN WE HEADED FOR HOLLYWOOD AND DIDN’T DO ANYTHING IN TOWN BUT WHEN WE HEADED UP THE CAHUENGA PASS TO GO BACK TO THE VALLEY I PUSHED THE BUTTON, WE BLANKED OUT THE CAHUENGA PASS! WE TURNED OFF AND GOT ON THE MULHULLAND BRIDGE AND THE CLOUD LAYED OVER BOTH LANES ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL! YOU COULD SEE PEOPLE STANDING ON THE RUNNING BOARDS OR BUMPERS STICKING UP THROUGH THE SMOKE! IT WAS FUNNY, NO BODY GOT HURT BUT WE HEARD THE POLICE WERE LOOKING FOR A LITTLE BLUE COUPE THAT LAYED THE SMOKE SCREEN! I TOOK EVERYTHING OFF THE CAR AND PUT IT IN A BOX IN THE GARAGE UP IN THE RAFTERS! ABOUT A YEAR LATER I CAME ACROSS IT AND TOOK THE TANK TO THE JUNK YARD! THE OWNER LOOKED AT IT WITH THE TIRE VALVE IN THE TOP AND CUT PIECES OF TUBING STICKING OUT OF THE BOTTOM AND JUST SMILED AND POINTED TO A NEWSPAPER HANGING ON THE WALL THAT SAID”MYSTERY CAR COVERS CAHUENGA PASS WITH SMOKE!” I SHOOK MY HEAD NO BUT HE SMILED AGAIN AND JUST SAT THERE BUT HE DID GIVE ME $1.00 FOR THE TANK WHICH WAS WHAT I PAID HIM FOR IT A YEAR EARLIER! I DON’T KNOW FOR SURE BUT, I’LL BET HE PUT IT ON HIS WRCKER!

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD

DAILY CHRONICLE # 15 VOL 13

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 15 VOL 13

THURSDAY, AUGUST 15^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 71/94 DEGREES

 

ONE THING ABOUT THE WATER SPRAYING, WE DID APOLOGIZE TO THE MAN AND HIS FAMILY!

 

WELL, WE STARTED THIS DAY OUT RIGHT, NO PHONE AND THIS IS THE DAY I HAVE TO TRANSMIT MY PACEMAKER INFORMATION TO CALIFORNIA OVER THE PHONE LINE! MOM CALLED THE PHONE COMPANY AND THE MAN WAS HERE RIGHT AWAY! HE FOUND THE PROBLEM WAS/IS DOWN AT KELLYS BUT SAID WITH ALL THE WIRES RUNNING UNDER THE HOUSE HE’D HAVE TO CHECK THEM ONE AT A TIME SO MOM CALLED TIM SINCE HE PUT THE SYSTEM IN AND HANDED THE PHONE TO THE PHONE MAN! FROM WHAT TIM TOLD MOM THE GUY DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING AND HE TOLD HIM TO PACK UP HIS TOOLS AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM IT, THAT HE (TIM) WOULD COME UP AND FIX THE PROBLEM TO NIGHT!

AT LEAST HE GOT OUR PHONE WORKING AND THE NETWORK BUT WE STILL DON’T HAVE THE INTERNET!

I JUST GOT DONE TRANSMITTING MY PACEMAKER INFORMATION TO CALIFORNIA NOW I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT FOR ANOTHER MONTH!

 

TTIM DECIDED HE WAS GOING TO COME UP AFTER WORK AT 8:00 PM AND HE AND KELLY WERE GOING TO FIX THE PROBLEM! HE GOT HERE ABOUT 8:00 AND WENT DOWN AND GOT KELLY AND THEY TRACED THE PROBLEM DOWN TO A BAD “PUNCH DOWN” CONNECTION IN A BOX! WE’VE GOT INTERNT AND EVERYTHING IS OK! HE SAID IF THE PHONE MAN WOULD HAVE JUST USED SOME NORMAL CHECKING PROCEEDURES HE COULD HAVE HAD IT FIXED IN ABOUT AN HOUR! HE LEFT HERE ABOUT 10:30! LUCKLY HE’S WORKING THE LATE SHIFT 11:30 AM TO 8:00 PM SO HE DOESN’T HAVE TO GET UP TO EARLY!

ON THE WAY HOME HE CALLED BACK TO TELL US ELYSE IS GOING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW NEXT WEEK WITH HER OLD COMPANY, “TRAIL BLAZER,” HER OLD BOSS WANTS HER BACK AND SHE’LL BE MAKING MORE MONEY THAN AT AMERICAN HEART ASSOC. OR THE MEDICAL CLINIC SHE WAS WORKING FOR!

 

SHANNON CAME OUT TO BRING TIM A LAP TOP COMPUTER TO FIX FOR SOME FRIEND OF HERS! WE VISITED FOR A WHILE THEN ATE DINNER AND SHE HEADED FOR HOME! SHE’S GOING IN FOR SURGERY ON HER ACHILLIES TENDON SOON AND WILL BE LAID UP IN BED FOR 6-8 WEEKS THE DOCTOR DOESN’T WANT HER PUTTING ANY WEIGHT ON IT FOR THAT LONG! THE BABY SITTER IS TAKING CARE OF KONNER FULL TIME TILL SHE GETS BACK ON HER FEET! SHE GOES AND SEES HIM EVERY DAY!

 

HERE’S ONE THAT’LL MAKE YOU THINK!

 

MADE WHERE?

JOE SMITH STARTED THE DAY EARLY HAVING SET HIS ALARM CLOCK (MADE IN JAPAN) FOR 6 A.M. WHILE HIS COFFEE POT (MADE IN CHINA) WAS PERKING, HE SHAVED WITH HIS ELECTRIC RAZOR (MADE IN HONG KONG). HE PUT ON A DRESS SHIRT (MADE IN SRI LANKA), DESIGNER JEANS (MADE IN SINGAPORE) AND TENNIS SHOES (MADE IN KOREA).

AFTER COOKING HIS BREAKFAST IN HIS NEW ELECTRIC SKILLET (MADE IN INDIA) HE SAT DOWN WITH HIS CALCULATOR (MADE IN MEXICO) TO SEE HOW MUCH HE COULD SPEND TODAY. AFTER SETTING HIS WATCH (MADE IN TAIWAN) TO THE RADIO (MADE IN INDIA) HE GOT IN HIS CAR (MADE IN GERMANY) AND CONTINUED HIS SEARCH FOR A GOOD PAYING AMERICAN JOB.

AT THE END OF YET ANOTHER DISCOURAGING AND FRUITLESS DAY, JOE DECIDED TO RELAX FOR A WHILE. HE PUT ON HIS SANDALS (MADE IN BRAZIL) POURED HIMSELF A GLASS OF WINE (MADE IN FRANCE) AND TURNED ON HIS TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), AND THEN WONDERED WHY HE CAN'T FIND A GOOD PAYING JOB IN AMERICA.

 

DOGGONE BRILLIANT A WEALTHY MAN DECIDED TO GO ON A SAFARI IN AFRICA. HE TOOK HIS FAITHFUL PET DACHSHUND ALONG FOR COMPANY. ONE DAY, THE DACHSHUND STARTS CHASING BUTTERFLIES AND BEFORE LONG THE DACHSHUND DISCOVERS THAT HE IS LOST. SO, WANDERING ABOUT, HE NOTICES A LEOPARD HEADING RAPIDLY IN HIS DIRECTION WITH THE OBVIOUS INTENTION OF HAVING HIM FOR LUNCH. THE DACHSHUND THINKS, "I'M IN DEEP TROUBLE NOW!" THEN HE NOTICED SOME BONES ON THE GROUND CLOSE BY, AND IMMEDIATELY SETTLES DOWN TO CHEW ON THE BONES WITH HIS BACK TO THE APPROACHING CAT. JUST AS THE LEOPARD IS ABOUT TO LEAP, THE DACHSHUND EXCLAIMS LOUDLY, "BOY, THAT WAS ONE DELICIOUS LEOPARD. I WONDER IF THERE ARE ANY MORE AROUND HERE." HEARING THIS, THE LEOPARD HALTS HIS ATTACK IN MID-STRIDE, AS A LOOK OF TERROR COMES OVER HIM, AND SLINKS AWAY INTO THE TREES. "WHEW," SAYS THE LEOPARD. "THAT WAS CLOSE. THAT DACHSHUND NEARLY HAD ME." MEANWHILE, A MONKEY, WHO HAD BEEN WATCHING THE WHOLE SCENE FROM A NEARBY TREE, FIGURES HE CAN PUT THIS KNOWLEDGE TO GOOD USE AND TRADE IT FOR PROTECTION FROM THE LEOPARD. SO, OFF HE GOES. BUT THE DACHSHUND SAW HIM HEADING AFTER THE LEOPARD WITH GREAT SPEED, AND FIGURED THAT SOMETHING MUST BE UP. THE MONKEY SOON CATCHES UP WITH THE LEOPARD, SPILLS THE BEANS AND STRIKES A DEAL FOR HIMSELF WITH THE LEOPARD. THE LEOPARD IS FURIOUS AT BEING MADE A FOOL OF AND SAYS, "HERE MONKEY, HOP ON MY BACK AND SEE WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO THAT CONNIVING CANINE." NOW THE DACHSHUND SEES THE LEOPARD COMING WITH THE MONKEY ON HIS BACK, AND THINKS, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW?" BUT INSTEAD OF RUNNING, THE DOG SITS DOWN WITH HIS BACK TO HIS ATTACKERS, PRETENDING HE HASN'T SEEN THEM YET. AND, JUST WHEN THEY GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO HEAR, THE DACHSHUND SAYS: "WHERE'S THAT DARN MONKEY? I SENT HIM OFF HALF AN HOUR AGO TO BRING ME ANOTHER LEOPARD."   THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE. HOWARD

 

 

 

 

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #14 VOL 13

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 14 VOL 13

WEDNESDAY; AUGUST 14^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 67/90 DEGREES

 

BOY, THIS GEORGIAN THING IS REALLY STARTING TO GET SERIOUS!

I HAVE A SOLUTION BUT IT WOULD ENTAIL TELLING RUSSIA TO BACK OFF OR ELSE THEN, LET THEM WONDER WHAT “OR ELSE” MEANS BUT, WE DON’T HAVE THE MAN POWER FOR A LAND CONFRONTATION BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT BE  NECESSARY  TO PUT 3 NAVAL BATTLE GROUPS IN THE BLACK SEA TO FACE OFF THE RUSSIAN NAVAL GROUPS ALREADY THERE! IF IT COMES DOWN TO IT THE AIR FORCE AND THE NAVY WILL HAVE TO CARRY THE BALL IN THIS ONE TILL WE CAN RE GROUP OUR LAND ARMIES! THIS MAY BE A GOOD TIME TO PULL OUT OF IRAQ AND LET THEM HANDLE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS! IRAQ WAS NEVER AN ALLIE OF THE U.S. BUT GEORGIA IS AND WE’VE GOT TO HELP PROTECT HER SOVEREIGNTY!

WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN GEORGE PATTONS ADVICE AND GONE ALL THE WAY TO MOSCOW DURING WWII AND ELIMINATED THE THREAT OF THE RUSSIAN BEAR TAKING OVER THE FREE WORLD THEN THIS WOULDN’T BE HAPPENING! I JUST READ WHERE THE RUSSIAN ORTHADOX CHRISTIAN TROOPS BROKE INTO A GEORGIAN ORTHADOX CHRISTIAN CHURCH AND TOOK THE PRIEST HOSTAGE! IT SOUNDS LIKE ADOLPH HITLER IS STILL PULLING THE STRINGS HUH?

 

MOM GOT HOME FROM SHANNONS AND TOLD ME THE “CHECK ENGINE” LIGHT CAME ON IN THE ACCLAIM! SHE STOPPED AND CHECKED UNDER THE HOOD BUT EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE OK! WHEN SHE GOT BACK IN SHE NOTICED THE VOLTMETER IN THE INSTRUMENT PANEL WASN’T SHOWING ANY CHARGE! KELLY CHECKED IT OUT AND DETERMINED THE ALTERNATOR WASN’T CHARGING! I WAS GOING TO TAKE THE CAR OVER TO “STARTRIGHT” IN SHERMAN AND HAVE IT FIXED BUT SHE SAID NO, WE’LL START DRIVING THE INTREPID! KELLY HAS AGREED TO CHANGE THE EGR VALVE AND 02 SENSORS THIS COMING WEEKEND! WE ALREADY HAVE THE PARTS AND HAVE BEEN WAITING TO GET THEM CHANGED! THOSE ARE THE TWO THINGS THAT KEEP COMING UP WITH THE KEY CHECK! MOM AND I GOT THE TURN SIGNALS WORKING AGAIN AND THE LAST THING WILL BE THE NEW TOP CENTER STOP LIGHT BULB WHICH SHE’LL PUT IN TOMORROW!

WE HAVE TO GO TO MUSKOGEE, OK. NEXT TUESDAY FOR THE HEARING ABOUT MY DISABILITY SO WE’RE GOING TO NEED ONE OF THE CARS RUNNING OR WE’LL HAVE TO RENT ONE! WE CAN’T MISS THIS HEARING FOR ANY REASON SHORT OF DEATH!

 

CHINA SURE DID CLEAN UP IN THE MENS AND WOMANS GYMNASTICS, THEY ARE GOOD!

 

MICHAEL PHELPS GOT TWO MORE GOLD TODAY I THINK, THAT MAKES FIVE FOR THE 2008 OLYMPICS AND 11 TOTAL  IF YOUR INTERESTED IN THIS YOUNG MAN PULL UP “HOW MANY GOLD MEDALS DOES MICHAEL PHELPS HAVE” ON GOOGLE! HE’S REALLY AN INTERESTING GUY AND RIGHT DOWN TO EARTH! I WAS ALITTLE UPSET LAST NIGHT WHEN HE AND THE GUY NEXT TO HIM ON THE AWARDS STAND STARTED CARRYING ON AND LAUGHING DURING THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER! YOUNG PEOPLE, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO! AT THE NASCAR OPENING CEREMONIES THE DRIVERS AND CREW MEMBERS DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEIR RIGHT HAND DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AND MOST OF THEM ARE OLDER THAN PHELPS WHO IS ONLY 23 BUT, REALLY  SHOULD KNOW BETTER!

 

ANOTHER EPISODE IN THE TIME AND LIFE OF HOWARD A. MAHONEY!

 

WAY BACK IN 1950 I JOINED THE CALIFORNIA AIR NATIONAL GUARD IN HOPES I WOULD GET TO FLY ON SOME OF THE “ROUND ROBINS” THEY DO FROM TIME TO TIME!

BILL MASON DIDN’T JOIN SINCE HE HAD BEEN DRAFTED AND WAS GOING TO THE ARMY!  HIM AND I WERE AT THE QUANSET HUT THAT THE GUARD USED FOR A MEETING PLACE WHEN WE NOTICE A STACK OF PUMP TYPE FIRE EXTENGUISHERS IN THE TRASH BIN OUT BEHIND THE HUT! WE STARTED DIGGING THROUGH THEM WHEN MY 1^ST SGT CAME OUT TO SEE WHAT GOING ON?  I ASKED HIM IF I COULD HAVE ONE OR TWO OF THEM AND HE SAID THEY’D BEEN WRITTEN OFF AS UNSERVICEABLE SO I COULD TAKE MY PICK AS LONG AS I TOOK THEM OFF THE BASE! BILL AND I DUG AROUND AND FOUND TWO THAT LOOKED LIKE THEY MIGHT WORK SO WE TOOK THEM OVER TO A WATR HYDRANT AND FILLED THEM UP, WE HAD TO PRIME THEM BUT GOT THEM WORKING AFTER CUTTING OFF THE BAD PART OF THE HOSES AND BLOWING BACK INTO THE TANKS!

MY 31 CHEVY HAD THE LITTLE COWEL LIGHTS BUT THE ONE ON THE RIGHT WAS MISSING AND I HAD A PLUG IN THE HOLE AND THE WIRE HAD BEEN TAPED OVER!

WE PUT ONE OF THE TANKS ON THE PASSENGR FLOOR AND STUCK THE HOSE THROUGH THE HOLE AFTER TAKING THE PLUG OUT TAPING IT UP UNDER THE DASH SO THE NOZZLE WAS SHOOTING STRAIGHT OUT AND TO THE FRONT! WE PLANNED TO GO TO HOLLYWOOD AND SPRAY PEOPLE UP AND DOWN THE BLVD.!

WE DECIDED TO TRY OUR INVENTION OUT IN NORTH HOLLYWOOD TO BE SURE IT WORKED RIGHT! WE SPRAYED 3-4 CARS UP AND DOWN LANKERSHIM BLVD. THE MAIN STREET! WHEN THEY WOULD GET THE WATER ON THEM THEY WOULD HOLD THEIR HANDS OUT AND LOOK UP, WE ALMOST HIT THE CURB A COUPLE OF TIMES WE LAUGHED SO HARD!

ON THE WAY HOME BILL HAD THE “T” HANDLE IN HIS HAND AND IT WAS PULLED UP SO HE PUSHED IT DOWN INTO THE TANK! A ¼ INCH STREAM OF WATER SHOT OUT OF THE NOZZLE AND A MAN AND HIS FAMILY WERE RIGHT NEXT TO US WHILE PASSING ON THE RIGHT! THE STREAM OF WATER WENT RIGHT IN THE DRIVERS WINDOW AND HIT THE MAN IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD!

HE SLAMMED ON HIS BRAKES AND CAME TO A STOP LOOKING FOR WHOMEVER HIT HIM WITH THE WATER! WHEN HE STOPPED I PASSED HIM AND PULLED OVER AND MADE A RIGHT TURN ON THE NEXT STREET! DOWN AT THE END OF THE STREET WAS A SAND WASH AND A SMALL RAILROAD BRIDGE, BILL JUMPED OUT OF THE CAR AND HEADED FOR THE BRIDGE WITH THE PUMP TANK! HE HID IT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE!

THE MAN AND HIS FAMILY PULLED UP AS BILL WAS WALKING BACK TO THE CAR! I HAD PULLED INTO THE SAND WASH AND WAS STUCK UP TO THE AXLES! HE EVIDENTLY HAD CLLED THE POLICE AND THEN CAME LOOKING FOR US! THE POLICE PULLED UP AND IF I REMEMBER RIGHT MY BROTHER JERRY WAS IN THE CAR! HE AND HIS PARTNER GOT OUT AND HIS PARTNER DID ALL THE TALKING! IN THE MEAN TIME ONE OF THE KIDS WENT AND BROUGHT THE PUMP TANK BACK TO THE POLICE! TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT BILL AND I AGREED TO PAY THE MAN TO HAVE HIS CLOTHES CLEANED, HAVE THE CAR CLEANED OUT AND AGREED NOT TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN! HE AND HIS FAMILY LEFT AFTER MY BROTHER TOLD THEM HE WOULD SEE THAT WE DID WHAT WE SAID WE WOULD!  JERRY TOOK THE PUMP TANK AND I NEVER ASKED WHAT HE DID WITH IT! WE HAD TO WALK TO BILLS ABOUT 5 BLOCKS AND GET HIS CAR TO TOW MINE OUT OF THE SAND! WE STILL HAD THE OTHER TANK BUT DECIDED NOT TO MAKE IT MOBILE, MY MOTHER USED IT AROUND THE YARD TO WATER HER PLANTS!

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

 

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #13 VOL 13

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 13 VOL 13

WEDNESDAY, AUG 13^TH 2008

WEATHER; COOL, LOW HUMIDITY, 65/86 DEGREES

OUR LUCKY NUMBER IS 13

 

WE HAD TO GO TO BONHAM, VA TODAY AND VISIT WITH THE VA SERVICE OFFICER! THERE’S A BIG SCREW UP IN MY TRAVEL PAY! THE VA “MEANS DEPARTMENT” DOESN’T SHOW ME AS SERVICE CONNECTED DISABLED! THE SERVICE OFFICER WILL LOOK INTO IT AND GIVE US A CALL!

I STARTED FEELING BAD WHILE WE WERE WAITNG TO SEE THE SERVICE OFFICER AND AFTER I GOT HOME I JUST FELT LIKE I HAD BEEN PULLED THROUGH A KNOT HOLE IN A FENCE! I WENT AND LAID DOWN AND SLEPT REAL SOUND FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS THEN WOKE UP WITH A CHARLEY HORSE IN MY RIGHT SHIN AND COULDN’T SHAKE IT SO  I GOT UP AND WALKED IT OFF OUT ON THE RAMP THEN I WENT BACK TO BED AND MOM WOKE ME UP AT 7:00!

I FELL PRETY GOOD NOW EXCEPT I’M SO EXAUSTED, SO I’LL FINISH THIS AND GET TO BED!

WE WATCHED “ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS” TONIGHT, THIS WAS DORIS DAY’S FIRST MOVIE AND WAS PRETTY GOOD; IT HAD, DON DEFORE, JACK CARSON, OSCAR LAVANT AND S.J. SKALL! WHAT A DIFFERENCE IN CRUISE SHIPS THEN AND WHAT THEY ARE TODAY! THE ONE THEY KEPT SHOWING IN THE MOVIE LOOKED LIKE A MERCHANT SHIP, CRAINS, LOADING BOOMS AND ALL THE HARDWARE YOU SEE ON A MERCHANTMAN!

 

AFTER THE MOVIE WE WENT TO SIMON & SIMON AND AS USUAL THEY’RE GOOD! WE HAVE A CHOICE, SIMON & SIMON, MAGNUM P.I., MISSION IMPOSSIBLE OR MASH SO WE DON’T REALY MISS ALL THE CRAP THEY’RE PUTTING ON TV THESE DAYS!  ALL OF THESE OLDER SHOWS HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO OFFER!

 

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO WATCH THE HIGHLITES OF THE OLYMPICS AFTER THE 10:00 NEWS! TONIGHT THEY SHOWED THE CHINESE BEATIN G THE AMERICNS IN WOMAN’S GYMNASTICS! ONE OF THE FOREIGN COLOR COMMONTATORS SAID SOME OF THE CHINESE GIRLS ARE UNDER AGE BUT THE OFFIAIALS LET THEM COMPETE ANYWAY WHICH I THINK IS B.S.! IF THEY’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH THEY SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO COMPETE EVEN IF THE OLYMPICS IS A GUEST IN THEIR COUNTRY! I’M SURE IF ENOUGH OTHER COUNTRIES FILE A PROTEST LIKE THE U.S. DID THEY’LL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

 

MICHAEL PHELPS WON HIS 11^TH GOLD MEDAL IN OLYMPIC SWIMMING TODAY THIS IS HOW MANY HE HAS WON IN THE LAST OLYMPICS AND THIS ONE! HE HOPES TO MATCH THEN BEAT MARK SPITZ WHO WON 7 GOLD MEDALS IN THE 1972 OLYMPICS! HE PREDICTED HE’D WIN 6 BUT WON 7!

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

 

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #12 VOL 13

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 12 VOL 13

TUESDAY, AUGUST 12^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, 94% HUMIDITY, 68/81 DEGREES

 

MOM HAD TO GO TO TOWN AND TAKE KYLIE FOR A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT! I STAYED HOME AND WATCHED CNN ABOUT THIS SITUATION IN GEORGIA INVLOVING RUSSIAN TANKS, AIRCRAFT AND TROOPS!

THEY INTERVIEWED THE PRIMINISTER OF RUSSIA AND HE ACCUSED THE GEORGIAN MILITARY OF ETHNIC GENOCIDE OF RUSSIAN CIVILIANS LIVING WITHIN ITS BORDERS! I’LL HAVE TO WAIT AND HEAR THE OTHERSIDE AND WHAT THE AMERICAN AMBASSADOR TO GEORGIA HAS TO SAY!

 

THEN I LISTENED TO JOHN McCAIN TALKING ABOUT THE SITUATION! HE GAVE A LIST OF THING HE THOUGHT WE, AMERICA, SHOULD DO ABOUT IT! SOME OF THEM WERE OUT AND OUT THREATS TO THE RUSSIANS WHICH I DON’T BELIEVE HE HAS THE RIGHT TO DO AT THIS TIME! HE HASN’T TAKEN THE OATH OF OFFICE FOR THE PRESIDENCY OF THE UNITED STATES YET! OBAMA STRESSED DEPLOMACY BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE AND GO TO THE E.U. AND THE UN FOR THEIR OPINIONS AND POSSIBLE HELP!

 

IT KIND REMINDS ME OF A SIMILAR SITUATION THAT TOOK PLACE IN MARCH OF 2003!  THE MOST POWERFUL NATION IN THE WORLD    INVADED A NEUTRAL NATION THAT HAD NO INTENTIONS OF INVADING THE UNITED STATES NOR DID IT HAVE THE MEANS TO DO SO! THE LEADERS OF THE MOST POWERFUL NATION IN THE WORLD CHANGED AND MODIFIED INTELLIGENCE REPORTS TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO CARRY OUT THIS DASTARDLY DEED! AS A RESULT OVER 4,425 OF THE SOLDIERS OF THIS MOST POWERFUL NATION IN THE WORLD ARE DEAD AND, OVER 30,000 ARE WOUNDED WITH OVER 13,000 SO SERIOUSLY THEY’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO RETURN TO THEIR NORMAL WAY OF LIFE!

 

INCASE YOU HAVEN’T GUESSED, THIS MOST POWERFUL NATION IN THE WORLD THAT CARRIED OUT THIS DASTARDLY DEED WAS NONE OTHER THAN OUR OWN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA  FOREVER MARKING US AS AN “AGGRESSIVE” POWER, SOMETHING WE HAVE NOT BEEN FOR OVER 276 YEARS! (ON DEC.8^TH 1941 FDR REFERED TO THE ATTACK BY JAPAN AS DASTARDLY! I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD CALL OUR ATTACK ON IRAQ) AND THE U.S. DID IT AGAINST THE NEUTRAL NATION OF IRAQ! YES, I REALIZE IRAQ WAS RULED BY A DICTATOR, SADDAM HUSSEIN, WHO USED WMDs AGAINST HIS OWN PEOPLE! BUT, THAT WAS THEIR PROBLEM NOT OURS! I NEVER HEARD OF A REQUEST FROM THE IRAQI OFFICIALS TO SEND UN OR OUR PEACE KEEPING TROOPS IN TO STOP HIM! WHEN WE DID STOP HIM WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT AND LET THE IRAQI PEOPLE HANDLE IT FROM THERE ON BUT, NO, WE STAYED AND SPENT OUR YOUNG PEOPLE LIKE HITLER SPENT HIS, WRECKLESSLY! AT LEAST VIETNAM REQUESTED MILITARY EQUIUPMENT AND INSTRUCTORS TO TEACH THEIR TROOPS HOW TO USE IT!

OUR TROOPS WERE ALREADY IN KOREA CARRYING OUT THE OCCUPATION AFTER THE DEFEAT OF JAPAN IN WWII, KOREA WAS OCCUPIED BY JAPAN DURING THE WAR AND OUR TROOPS WEREN’T THERE TO FIGHT THE CHINESE TILL THE CHINESE UNDER THE GUISE OF NORTH KOREAN TROOPS INVADED SOUTH KOREA BY CROSSING THE 38^TH PARALLEL AND OCCUPING THE SOUTH KOREAN CAPITOL, SEOUL!

 

NOW WE HAVE A SITUATION THAT IF IT ESCILATES, MAKING IT NECESSARY TO MOVE U.S.TROOPS IN TO PROTECT OUR ALLIES, THE SOVERGINE NATION OF GEORGIA BUT, WE’RE A LITTLE SHORT OF MILITARY PERSONEL AND EQUIPMENT AT THE PRESENT AND RUSSIA KNOWS IT SO, IT LOOKS LIKE WE’LL HAVE TO CALL ON FRANCE, GERMANY, JAPAN, CHINA, BULGARIA, ITALY AND OTHERS TO HELP STOP THE RUSSIANS! YEAH, RIGHT, FRANCE NEVER HAD ANY TROOPS IN IRAQ AS MOST OF THE OTHER NATIONS DIDN’T EITHER SO WHO’S GOING TO HELP US? YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE!

 

I’M SORRY I HAD TO BRING THIS UP BUT IT COULD BE VERY IMPORTANT IN THE NEAR FUTURE! WE COULD VERY WELL HAVE OUR BACKS TO THE WALL WORSE THAN WHEN JAPAN ATTACKED US AND WE HAD TO MOBILIZE TROOPS AND INDUSTRY TO COMBAT THEM, GERMANY AND ITALY! IF IT COMES DOWN TO THAT GOD HELP US!

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

 

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #11 VOL 13

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 11 VOL 13

AUGUST 11 TH 2008

WEATHER; HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 72/99 EGREES

 

MOM WENT TO 8:00 MASS AND THEN OUT TO BREAKFAST WITH GARY AND CHARLEEN LATINIS! I WATCHED THE MASS FROM “THE CHURCH OF THE ANGLES” ON TV CHANNEL 370 DIRECT TV! THIS IS OK WITH ME SINCE I DON’T WALK TO GOOD EVEN WITH MY CANE! WHEN THE WEATHER COOLS DOWN SOME I’LL TRY USING MY NEW WALKER AND SET IN THE BACK OF THE CHURCH!

 

I WATCHED THE COWBOYS AND SAN DIEGO CHARGERS LAST NIGHT ON TV. DALLAS LOST 17 TO 31! THE 1^ST STRING WITH TONY ROMO AND CREW GOT THE BALL AND PROCEEDED TO GO DOWN THE FIELD AND SCORED WITH 8 PLAYS AND 54 YARDS! THEN WADE PHILLIPS STARTED ROTATING ALL THE OTHER PLAYERS TO GET A LOOK AT THEM UNDER GAME CONDITIONS! NEXT WEEK WE’LL BE IN DENVER, THE 1^ST STRING WILL PLAY MOST OF THE 1^ST QUARTER!

 

I GUESS I’M GOING TO BE FORCED TO WATCH NASCAR IF I WANT TO WATCH ANY RACING TODAY! I COULDN’T FIND INDY CARS ON ANY CHANNEL! OH WELL, I GUESS I’LL SURVIVE!

 

I WATCHED ABOUT 30 MINUTES OF NASCAR AND THAT’WAS ABOUT ALL I COULD TAKE! WATKINS GLENN IS A ROAD TRACK AND IF NASCAR CAN’T FIND A GOOD ROUND TRACK THAT WOULD WANT TO PUT ON A NASCAR RACE THEY’RE NOT LOOKING PAST THEIRI NOSES!

 

THESE ROAD RACES ARE NO MORE THAN GLORIFIED DESTRUCTION DERBYS AND I CAN’T FOR THE LIFE OF ME UNDERSTAND WHY THE DRIVERS DON’T REFUSE TO DRIVE IN THEM!

 

I WENT OUT AND SAT ON THE DECK FOR OVER AN HOUR TODAY AND WHILE I WAS THERE IT RAINED TWICE, GOOD SLOW SOAKING TYPE OF RAIN! THE TEMPERATURE DROPPED TO ABOUT 82 FROM 99 IN JUST A FEW MINUTES! MY LITTLE FRIENDS, THE HUMMINGBIRDS WERE REALLY HAVING A BALL CHASING EACH OTHER IN, OUT AND AROUND UNDER THE DECK ROOF! THEY CAME SO CLOSE I COULD FEEL THE WIND OFF THEIR WINGS AS THEY CIRCLED AROUND ME! BOY, ARE THEY FAST! MR “T”, MY OLD CAT JUST LAID THERE WASHING AND WATCHING THEM, HE NEVER MAKES A MOVE TOWARDS THEM. I GUESS HE KNOWS THEY’RE TOO FAST TO EVEN CONSIDER A CATCH!

 

WHEN BILL SHARKEY AND I WERE IN THE AIR FORCE WE USED TO SIT AROUND TALKING ABOUT HOME AND THE PEOPLE WE GREW UP WITH! HE USED TO TELL ABOUT AN OLD MAN WHO LIVED OUTSIDE OF HIS HOMETOWN ON A BIG PIECE OF LAND, HIS NAME WAS, FUDGENEAU DIPOTSIE! NOW THIS MAN EVIDENTLY HAD A LOT OF MONEY AND 6 DAUGHTERS, BILL WAS SWEET ON ONE OF THEM, BARBARA AND OLD FUDGENEAU KEPT A CLOSE EYE ON HER BUT, BILL ENDED UP MARRYING HER INSPITE OF HER FATHERS DISLIKE FOR HIM! HE DIDN’T HAVE ANY USE FOR ANYONE WHO WENT IN THE MILITARY BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO WORK HARD LIKE HE DID, IT MADE THEM LAZY! KIND OF LIKE OUR BLACK FRIEND J.I. McGILL, HE HAD THE SAME OPENION OF MILITARY SERVICE BUT ONE OF HIS SONS, JAMES WENT IN THE ARMY, MADE SENIOR M/SGT, MARRIED A LADY SENIOR M/SGT IN THE MEDICAL CORPS AND WHEN THEY RETIRED THEY OPENED A CLINIC IN CHICAGO I THINK!

 

 THE OLD MAN WAS “FRENCH CANADIAN OR AS AMERICANS CALLED THEM “CANUKS” (SP?)! THE ONE THING BILL TOLD ABOUT WAS, THE OLD MAN HAD A 1928 LINCOLN 4 DOOR PHAETON CONVERTIBLE WITH NO TOP CLOTH, JUST THE BOWS AND FRAME WORK! NOW, ACROSS THE STREET FROM SHARKEY’S FOLKS HOUSE WHERE I WAS STAYING WAS A BIG GENERAL STORE! BILL HAD TOLD ME FUDGENEAU WOULD PULL UP IN FRONT OF THE STORE, STEP OUT OF THE CAR AND LOCK ALL 4 DOORS AND ROLL UP ALL THE WINDOWS,  GO IN AND GET WHATEVER IT WAS HE WANTED, COME OUT, OPEN THE DRIVERS DOOR WITH THE KEY AND ROLL DOWN THAT WINDOW,  GET IN SET DOWN AND BEFORE HE STARTED THE ENGINE WOULD TURN AROUND IN THE SEAT AND UNLOCK ALL 4 DOORS AND ROLL THE OTHER THREE WINDOWS DOWN, THEN START THE ENGINE AND DRIVE AWAY!

OF COURSE I FOUND THIS HARD TO BELIEVE BUT AFTER WE WERE AT HIS FOLKS FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS HERE COMES THIS BIG BLACK LINCOLN 4 DOOR PHAETON CONVERTIBLE, IT PULLS  UP IN FRONT OF THE STORE AND THIS OLD MAN GETS OUT, AND PROCEEDS TO LOCK ALL FOUR DOORS AND ROLL UP ALL THE WINDOWS, GOES IN THE STORE AND IS BACK OUT IN JUST A FEW MINUTES, GOES AROUND THE CAR TO THE DRIVRS DOOR, UNLOCKS IT WITH THE KEY, ROLLS THAT WINDOW DOWN, GETS IN AND SETS DOWN, TURNS AROUND AND UNLOCKS ALL FOUR DOORS AND ROLLS THE OTHER THREE WINDOWS DOWN, STARTS THE ENGINE AND DRIVES AWAY!

 

I HAD TO APOLOGIZE TO BILL WHEN I STOPPD LAUGHING SO HARD! THEN I ASKED BILL, WHY?

MR. SHARKEY WAS STANDING IN THE DOOR AND SAID, “BECAUSE ABOUT 50 YEARS AGO FUDGENEAU HAD A NEARLY NEW MODEL “T” AND HIS GIRL FRIEND JUST LOVED THAT CAR! WELL, IT GOT STOLEN AND SO DID THE GIRL BUT NOT BY THE SAME PERSON! HE BOUGHT THE CAR YOU SEE NOW AND SAYS HE’S NOT GOING TO GIVE ANYONE A CHANCE TO STEAL IT TOO! THEN HE’LL ADD, IF THEY WANT THE OLD LADY THEY’RE WELCOME TO HER BUT NOT MY CAR!

 

SINCE MR. SHARKEY ADDED TO THE STORY I HAVE TO BELIEVE IT! I WAS COURIOUS HOW FUDGENEAU MADE HIS MONEY IN SUCH A SMALL TOWN AND MR. SHARKEY TOLD ME HE HAD THE BIGGEST SAW MILL WITHIN 100 MILES AND RAN IT TILL 1945 WHEN THE WAR ENDED AND THE DEMAND BY THE GOVERNMENT FOR HIS WOOD ENDED! THE P.T. BOAT HULLS WERE MADE BASICALLY OUT OF PLYWOOD WHICH WAS MADE OUT OF THE TYPE WOOD HE BOUGHT FROM THE LOGGERS FROM AS FAR AWAY AS CANADA AND SOLD TO THE GOVRNMENT!

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

 

HOWARD  

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #10 VOL 13

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 10 VOL 13

AUGUST 10^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, LOW HUMIDITY, 75/92 DEGREES

 

ANOTHER DO NOTHING DAY! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO JUST GET TO 92 BUT THE LAST I CHECKED THE ATOMIC CLOCK IT WS 104, THAT’S JUST TOO DAMN HOT TO GO OUT AND WORK ON THE CAR!

 

I WAS SETTING ON THE DECK THINKING ABOUT SERVICING THE HUMMINGBIRD FEEDERS WHEN THE RUBY THROAT CAME FLYING UNDER THE ROOF AND HOVERED ABOUT 2 FEET IN FRONT OF ME THEN FLEW OVER TO ONE OF THE FEEDERS AND TRIED ABOUT HALF OF THE LITTLE HOLES AND THEN CAME BACK UNDER THE ROOF AND BUZZED ME AND TOOK OFF! I GOT THE MESSAGE AND TOOK THEM DOWN AND WHEN I TOOK THEM APART THERE WASN’T A DROP OF SOLUTION IN ETHER ONE! I WASHED THEM AND MOM MADE UP SOME OF THE SOLUTION AND PUT THEM BACK UP!

 

KELLY’S BUILDING A COVER FOR THE SWIMMING POOL HE AND GLENDS PUT UP FOR THE FAMILY! IT’S A SMALL, 13FT POOL BUT BIG ENOUGH THAT EVERYONE WHO GOES IN HAS FUN! I OFFERED SOME SUGGESTIONS BUT DON’T KNOW IF HE’LL USE THEM OR NOT!

 

MOM WAS GIVEN A LOT OF CRAFT THING THAT DEBBY LATINIS HAD ACCUMULATED SHE WAS BIG IN DOING CRAFTS AND DID BEAUTIFUL WORK!  ONE OF THE THINGS I NOTICED WAS TWO LARGE TUBS FULL OF YARN OF ALL COLORS!  DEBBY SMOKED LIKE A LOCOMOTIVE PULLING UP A HILL AND CONSEQUENTLY ALL THE YARN AND OTHER THINGS SMELL BAD WITH CIGARETT SMOKE! MOM HAS SOME KIND OF SOLUTION SHE SPRAYS ON THE THINGS THAT REMOVES THE CIGARETT SMELL AND SHE IS HAVING TO DO IT TO ALL THE ITEMS. SHE’S GOING TO GET WITH COLLEEN ABOUT THE YARN SINCE COLLEEN KNITS AND CROCHETS! SHE CROCHETED AN AMERICAN FLAG AFGAN FOR DICK THAT IS 4X6 FEET!

 

SHE FINISHED IT AFTER THEY GOT TOO AUNT IRENE’S FOR THE REUNION IN JULY OF 2006 AND THEN GAVE IT TO HIM! IT’S ON THE RECLINER I SET IN WHEN WE VISIT THEM!

 

WHEN WE VISITED MOM’S COUSIN BEV IN EL PASO LAST YEAR BEV GAVE HER ALL KINDS OF BEADS AND THE THING TO MAKE BEAD JEWELRY WITH! WELL, SHE JUST GOT MORE BEADS AND OTHER THINGS TO MAKE JEWLERY WITH FROM THE CRAFT ITEMS SHE GOT FROM THE LATINIS THAT WERE DEBBY’S

 

I’VE TOLD THIS JOKE FOR YEARS, THE LAST TIME I TOLD IT TO A PRIEST WAS JUST BEFORE MOM AND I WERE MARRIED IN THE CHURCH BY FATHER (NOW MONSIGNOR) JOHN A. BRENNAN, PASTOR OF ST.PATRICKS AT THAT TIME! WE WERE TALKING IN HIS OFFICE IN THE RECTORY AND HE GOT TO LAUGHING SO HARD HE WENT INTO THE KITCHEN! SO LETS SEE WHAT YOU ALL THINK?

 

A CATHOLIC PRIEST, A BAPTIST PREACHER AND A JEWISH RABI ALL DIE IN AN AIRLINER CRASH! THE RABI IS THE FIRST TO GO SINCE HE WAS SETTING IN THE FIRST CLASS SECTION IN THE FRONT OF THE AIRPLANE, THE BAPTIST PREACHER IS NEXT SINCE HE WAS IN THE RESTROOM BETWEEN THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND COACH WHEN THE AIRLINER HIT THE MOUNTAIN, THE CATHOLIC PRIST WAS THE LAST TO GO BECAUSE HE WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND SLID OUT FROM UNDER HIS SEAT BELT ON IMPACT AND WAS THROWN OUT THE SIDE OF THE FUSELAGE!

 

WHEN THE BAPTIST PREACHER GETS TO THE PEARLY GATES ST. PETER WELCOMES HIM IN AND SHOWS HIM HIS NEW HOME, A 75 FOOT MANUFACTURED HOME WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS AND A TOP GROUND SWIMMING POOL IN THE BACK YARD WITH A POOL HOUSE AND PATIO WITH TABLES, CHAIRS AND UMBRELLAS!

 

WHEN THE CATHOLIC PRIEST GETS TO THE PEARLY GATES ST. PETER TAKES HIM TO HIS NEW HOME, A ONE BEDROOM BUNGALOW WITH A SHADED PORCH ALL THE WAY AROUND AND A BIG FISH POND WITH ALL KINDS OF FISH SWIMMING IN IT, A FOUNTAIN AND A WATER FALL, A PATIO WITH TABLES, CHAIRS AND UMBRELLS! A BIG GAME CHEST IS ON THE PATIO WITH ALL SORTS OF GAMES FROM BADMINTON TO CHESS!

 

THE PREACHER AND THE PRIEST MEET ON THE STREET ONE OVER FROM THEIR STREET WHILE OUT FOR AN AFTERNOON STROLE!  AS THEY’RE TALKING THEY SEE THE RABI COME OUT THE FRONT DOOR OF A HUGE THREE STORY BRICK HOME AND GET IN HIS LEXUS CONVERTIBLE, DRIVE AROUND THE CIRCLE DRIVE AND HEAD UP THE STREET! THE PREACHER AND THE PRIEST GOT MOTOR SCOOTERS!

 

THEY HEAD FOR ST. PETER AND FIND HIM IN THE GUARD SHACK INSIDE THE PEARLY GATES! HELLO HE SAYS TO THE TWO MEN AS THEY APPROACH THE SHACK, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

 

THE BAPTIST PREACHER IS FIRST TO SPEAK AND THE PRIEST TELLS HIM TO GO AHEAD AND SPEAK FOR HIM TOO; WE WERE A GOOD PREACHER AND PRIEST ON EARTH AND I RAISED A VERY RELIGIOUS FAMILY AND SO DID THE RABI! AND FATHER BILL WAS CELIBATE DURING HIS WHOLE PRIEST HOOD AND NOW WE SEE THE RABI LIVING IN A BIG BEAUTIFUL HOUSE AND DRIVING A LEXUS CONVRTABLE AND FATHER BILL AND I ARE LIVING IN A MANUFACTUED HOUSE AND PIDDLY LOOKING BUNGALOW AND RIDING ON MOTOR SCOOTERS! WHY?

I’M SORRY BUT, HE’S A RELATIVE OF THE BOSS!  ANSWERS ST. PETER, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!

 

THAT’S “30 FOR THIS ISSUE.

 

HOWARD