DAILY CHRONICLE # 15 VOL 13

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 15 VOL 13

THURSDAY, AUGUST 15^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 71/94 DEGREES

 

ONE THING ABOUT THE WATER SPRAYING, WE DID APOLOGIZE TO THE MAN AND HIS FAMILY!

 

WELL, WE STARTED THIS DAY OUT RIGHT, NO PHONE AND THIS IS THE DAY I HAVE TO TRANSMIT MY PACEMAKER INFORMATION TO CALIFORNIA OVER THE PHONE LINE! MOM CALLED THE PHONE COMPANY AND THE MAN WAS HERE RIGHT AWAY! HE FOUND THE PROBLEM WAS/IS DOWN AT KELLYS BUT SAID WITH ALL THE WIRES RUNNING UNDER THE HOUSE HE’D HAVE TO CHECK THEM ONE AT A TIME SO MOM CALLED TIM SINCE HE PUT THE SYSTEM IN AND HANDED THE PHONE TO THE PHONE MAN! FROM WHAT TIM TOLD MOM THE GUY DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING AND HE TOLD HIM TO PACK UP HIS TOOLS AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM IT, THAT HE (TIM) WOULD COME UP AND FIX THE PROBLEM TO NIGHT!

AT LEAST HE GOT OUR PHONE WORKING AND THE NETWORK BUT WE STILL DON’T HAVE THE INTERNET!

I JUST GOT DONE TRANSMITTING MY PACEMAKER INFORMATION TO CALIFORNIA NOW I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT FOR ANOTHER MONTH!

 

TTIM DECIDED HE WAS GOING TO COME UP AFTER WORK AT 8:00 PM AND HE AND KELLY WERE GOING TO FIX THE PROBLEM! HE GOT HERE ABOUT 8:00 AND WENT DOWN AND GOT KELLY AND THEY TRACED THE PROBLEM DOWN TO A BAD “PUNCH DOWN” CONNECTION IN A BOX! WE’VE GOT INTERNT AND EVERYTHING IS OK! HE SAID IF THE PHONE MAN WOULD HAVE JUST USED SOME NORMAL CHECKING PROCEEDURES HE COULD HAVE HAD IT FIXED IN ABOUT AN HOUR! HE LEFT HERE ABOUT 10:30! LUCKLY HE’S WORKING THE LATE SHIFT 11:30 AM TO 8:00 PM SO HE DOESN’T HAVE TO GET UP TO EARLY!

ON THE WAY HOME HE CALLED BACK TO TELL US ELYSE IS GOING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW NEXT WEEK WITH HER OLD COMPANY, “TRAIL BLAZER,” HER OLD BOSS WANTS HER BACK AND SHE’LL BE MAKING MORE MONEY THAN AT AMERICAN HEART ASSOC. OR THE MEDICAL CLINIC SHE WAS WORKING FOR!

 

SHANNON CAME OUT TO BRING TIM A LAP TOP COMPUTER TO FIX FOR SOME FRIEND OF HERS! WE VISITED FOR A WHILE THEN ATE DINNER AND SHE HEADED FOR HOME! SHE’S GOING IN FOR SURGERY ON HER ACHILLIES TENDON SOON AND WILL BE LAID UP IN BED FOR 6-8 WEEKS THE DOCTOR DOESN’T WANT HER PUTTING ANY WEIGHT ON IT FOR THAT LONG! THE BABY SITTER IS TAKING CARE OF KONNER FULL TIME TILL SHE GETS BACK ON HER FEET! SHE GOES AND SEES HIM EVERY DAY!

 

HERE’S ONE THAT’LL MAKE YOU THINK!

 

MADE WHERE?

JOE SMITH STARTED THE DAY EARLY HAVING SET HIS ALARM CLOCK (MADE IN JAPAN) FOR 6 A.M. WHILE HIS COFFEE POT (MADE IN CHINA) WAS PERKING, HE SHAVED WITH HIS ELECTRIC RAZOR (MADE IN HONG KONG). HE PUT ON A DRESS SHIRT (MADE IN SRI LANKA), DESIGNER JEANS (MADE IN SINGAPORE) AND TENNIS SHOES (MADE IN KOREA).

AFTER COOKING HIS BREAKFAST IN HIS NEW ELECTRIC SKILLET (MADE IN INDIA) HE SAT DOWN WITH HIS CALCULATOR (MADE IN MEXICO) TO SEE HOW MUCH HE COULD SPEND TODAY. AFTER SETTING HIS WATCH (MADE IN TAIWAN) TO THE RADIO (MADE IN INDIA) HE GOT IN HIS CAR (MADE IN GERMANY) AND CONTINUED HIS SEARCH FOR A GOOD PAYING AMERICAN JOB.

AT THE END OF YET ANOTHER DISCOURAGING AND FRUITLESS DAY, JOE DECIDED TO RELAX FOR A WHILE. HE PUT ON HIS SANDALS (MADE IN BRAZIL) POURED HIMSELF A GLASS OF WINE (MADE IN FRANCE) AND TURNED ON HIS TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), AND THEN WONDERED WHY HE CAN'T FIND A GOOD PAYING JOB IN AMERICA.

 

DOGGONE BRILLIANT A WEALTHY MAN DECIDED TO GO ON A SAFARI IN AFRICA. HE TOOK HIS FAITHFUL PET DACHSHUND ALONG FOR COMPANY. ONE DAY, THE DACHSHUND STARTS CHASING BUTTERFLIES AND BEFORE LONG THE DACHSHUND DISCOVERS THAT HE IS LOST. SO, WANDERING ABOUT, HE NOTICES A LEOPARD HEADING RAPIDLY IN HIS DIRECTION WITH THE OBVIOUS INTENTION OF HAVING HIM FOR LUNCH. THE DACHSHUND THINKS, "I'M IN DEEP TROUBLE NOW!" THEN HE NOTICED SOME BONES ON THE GROUND CLOSE BY, AND IMMEDIATELY SETTLES DOWN TO CHEW ON THE BONES WITH HIS BACK TO THE APPROACHING CAT. JUST AS THE LEOPARD IS ABOUT TO LEAP, THE DACHSHUND EXCLAIMS LOUDLY, "BOY, THAT WAS ONE DELICIOUS LEOPARD. I WONDER IF THERE ARE ANY MORE AROUND HERE." HEARING THIS, THE LEOPARD HALTS HIS ATTACK IN MID-STRIDE, AS A LOOK OF TERROR COMES OVER HIM, AND SLINKS AWAY INTO THE TREES. "WHEW," SAYS THE LEOPARD. "THAT WAS CLOSE. THAT DACHSHUND NEARLY HAD ME." MEANWHILE, A MONKEY, WHO HAD BEEN WATCHING THE WHOLE SCENE FROM A NEARBY TREE, FIGURES HE CAN PUT THIS KNOWLEDGE TO GOOD USE AND TRADE IT FOR PROTECTION FROM THE LEOPARD. SO, OFF HE GOES. BUT THE DACHSHUND SAW HIM HEADING AFTER THE LEOPARD WITH GREAT SPEED, AND FIGURED THAT SOMETHING MUST BE UP. THE MONKEY SOON CATCHES UP WITH THE LEOPARD, SPILLS THE BEANS AND STRIKES A DEAL FOR HIMSELF WITH THE LEOPARD. THE LEOPARD IS FURIOUS AT BEING MADE A FOOL OF AND SAYS, "HERE MONKEY, HOP ON MY BACK AND SEE WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO THAT CONNIVING CANINE." NOW THE DACHSHUND SEES THE LEOPARD COMING WITH THE MONKEY ON HIS BACK, AND THINKS, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW?" BUT INSTEAD OF RUNNING, THE DOG SITS DOWN WITH HIS BACK TO HIS ATTACKERS, PRETENDING HE HASN'T SEEN THEM YET. AND, JUST WHEN THEY GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO HEAR, THE DACHSHUND SAYS: "WHERE'S THAT DARN MONKEY? I SENT HIM OFF HALF AN HOUR AGO TO BRING ME ANOTHER LEOPARD."   THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE. HOWARD