HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 10 VOL 13
AUGUST 10TH 2008
WEATHER; WARM, LOW HUMIDITY, 75/92 DEGREES
ANOTHER DO NOTHING DAY! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO JUST GET TO 92 BUT THE LAST I CHECKED THE ATOMIC CLOCK IT WS 104, THAT’S JUST TOO DAMN HOT TO GO OUT AND WORK ON THE CAR!
I WAS SETTING ON THE DECK THINKING ABOUT SERVICING THE HUMMINGBIRD FEEDERS WHEN THE RUBY THROAT CAME FLYING UNDER THE ROOF AND HOVERED ABOUT 2 FEET IN FRONT OF ME THEN FLEW OVER TO ONE OF THE FEEDERS AND TRIED ABOUT HALF OF THE LITTLE HOLES AND THEN CAME BACK UNDER THE ROOF AND BUZZED ME AND TOOK OFF! I GOT THE MESSAGE AND TOOK THEM DOWN AND WHEN I TOOK THEM APART THERE WASN’T A DROP OF SOLUTION IN ETHER ONE! I WASHED THEM AND MOM MADE UP SOME OF THE SOLUTION AND PUT THEM BACK UP!
KELLY’S BUILDING A COVER FOR THE SWIMMING POOL HE AND GLENDS PUT UP FOR THE FAMILY! IT’S A SMALL, 13FT POOL BUT BIG ENOUGH THAT EVERYONE WHO GOES IN HAS FUN! I OFFERED SOME SUGGESTIONS BUT DON’T KNOW IF HE’LL USE THEM OR NOT!
MOM WAS GIVEN A LOT OF CRAFT THING THAT DEBBY LATINIS HAD ACCUMULATED SHE WAS BIG IN DOING CRAFTS AND DID BEAUTIFUL WORK! ONE OF THE THINGS I NOTICED WAS TWO LARGE TUBS FULL OF YARN OF ALL COLORS! DEBBY SMOKED LIKE A LOCOMOTIVE PULLING UP A HILL AND CONSEQUENTLY ALL THE YARN AND OTHER THINGS SMELL BAD WITH CIGARETT SMOKE! MOM HAS SOME KIND OF SOLUTION SHE SPRAYS ON THE THINGS THAT REMOVES THE CIGARETT SMELL AND SHE IS HAVING TO DO IT TO ALL THE ITEMS. SHE’S GOING TO GET WITH COLLEEN ABOUT THE YARN SINCE COLLEEN KNITS AND CROCHETS! SHE CROCHETED AN AMERICAN FLAG AFGAN FOR DICK THAT IS 4X6 FEET!
SHE FINISHED IT AFTER THEY GOT TOO AUNT IRENE’S FOR THE REUNION IN JULY OF 2006 AND THEN GAVE IT TO HIM! IT’S ON THE RECLINER I SET IN WHEN WE VISIT THEM!
WHEN WE VISITED MOM’S COUSIN BEV IN EL PASO LAST YEAR BEV GAVE HER ALL KINDS OF BEADS AND THE THING TO MAKE BEAD JEWELRY WITH! WELL, SHE JUST GOT MORE BEADS AND OTHER THINGS TO MAKE JEWLERY WITH FROM THE CRAFT ITEMS SHE GOT FROM THE LATINIS THAT WERE DEBBY’S
I’VE TOLD THIS JOKE FOR YEARS, THE LAST TIME I TOLD IT TO A PRIEST WAS JUST BEFORE MOM AND I WERE MARRIED IN THE CHURCH BY FATHER (NOW MONSIGNOR) JOHN A. BRENNAN, PASTOR OF ST.PATRICKS AT THAT TIME! WE WERE TALKING IN HIS OFFICE IN THE RECTORY AND HE GOT TO LAUGHING SO HARD HE WENT INTO THE KITCHEN! SO LETS SEE WHAT YOU ALL THINK?
A CATHOLIC PRIEST, A BAPTIST PREACHER AND A JEWISH RABI ALL DIE IN AN AIRLINER CRASH! THE RABI IS THE FIRST TO GO SINCE HE WAS SETTING IN THE FIRST CLASS SECTION IN THE FRONT OF THE AIRPLANE, THE BAPTIST PREACHER IS NEXT SINCE HE WAS IN THE RESTROOM BETWEEN THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND COACH WHEN THE AIRLINER HIT THE MOUNTAIN, THE CATHOLIC PRIST WAS THE LAST TO GO BECAUSE HE WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND SLID OUT FROM UNDER HIS SEAT BELT ON IMPACT AND WAS THROWN OUT THE SIDE OF THE FUSELAGE!
WHEN THE BAPTIST PREACHER GETS TO THE PEARLY GATES ST. PETER WELCOMES HIM IN AND SHOWS HIM HIS NEW HOME, A 75 FOOT MANUFACTURED HOME WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS AND A TOP GROUND SWIMMING POOL IN THE BACK YARD WITH A POOL HOUSE AND PATIO WITH TABLES, CHAIRS AND UMBRELLAS!
WHEN THE CATHOLIC PRIEST GETS TO THE PEARLY GATES ST. PETER TAKES HIM TO HIS NEW HOME, A ONE BEDROOM BUNGALOW WITH A SHADED PORCH ALL THE WAY AROUND AND A BIG FISH POND WITH ALL KINDS OF FISH SWIMMING IN IT, A FOUNTAIN AND A WATER FALL, A PATIO WITH TABLES, CHAIRS AND UMBRELLS! A BIG GAME CHEST IS ON THE PATIO WITH ALL SORTS OF GAMES FROM BADMINTON TO CHESS!
THE PREACHER AND THE PRIEST MEET ON THE STREET ONE OVER FROM THEIR STREET WHILE OUT FOR AN AFTERNOON STROLE! AS THEY’RE TALKING THEY SEE THE RABI COME OUT THE FRONT DOOR OF A HUGE THREE STORY BRICK HOME AND GET IN HIS LEXUS CONVERTIBLE, DRIVE AROUND THE CIRCLE DRIVE AND HEAD UP THE STREET! THE PREACHER AND THE PRIEST GOT MOTOR SCOOTERS!
THEY HEAD FOR ST. PETER AND FIND HIM IN THE GUARD SHACK INSIDE THE PEARLY GATES! HELLO HE SAYS TO THE TWO MEN AS THEY APPROACH THE SHACK, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
THE BAPTIST PREACHER IS FIRST TO SPEAK AND THE PRIEST TELLS HIM TO GO AHEAD AND SPEAK FOR HIM TOO; WE WERE A GOOD PREACHER AND PRIEST ON EARTH AND I RAISED A VERY RELIGIOUS FAMILY AND SO DID THE RABI! AND FATHER BILL WAS CELIBATE DURING HIS WHOLE PRIEST HOOD AND NOW WE SEE THE RABI LIVING IN A BIG BEAUTIFUL HOUSE AND DRIVING A LEXUS CONVRTABLE AND FATHER BILL AND I ARE LIVING IN A MANUFACTUED HOUSE AND PIDDLY LOOKING BUNGALOW AND RIDING ON MOTOR SCOOTERS! WHY?
I’M SORRY BUT, HE’S A RELATIVE OF THE BOSS! ANSWERS ST. PETER, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!
THAT’S “30 FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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