HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 9 VOL 13
AUGUST 9TH 2008
WEATHER; WARM, LOW HUMIDITY, 70/81 DEGREES
IT FINALLY RAINED LAST NIGHT, NOT MUCH BUT ENOUGH SO MOM DIDN’T HAVE TO WATER HER PLANTS AND THE GRASS!
OTHER THAN MOM HAVING TO GO TO TOWN TO PICK UP THE EGR VALVE AND SCREENED GASKET FORITHE INTREPID WE STAYED IN!
WE WATCHED AND RCORDED A REAL GOOD MOVIE LAST NIGHT CALLED; “THE WORLDS FASTEST INDIAN!” IT’S ABOUT A NEW ZEALAND MAN ABOUT 60-65 YEARS OLD WHO HAS MODIFIED A 1928 INDIAN MOTORCYCLE AND PUTS A FIBERGLASS STREAMLINER BODY AROUND IT AND TAKES IT TO “SPEED WEEK AT BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS” WITHOUT ANY PRE REGISTRATION OR KNOWING JUST HOW THINGS WORK THERE! WE HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS MOVIE TO ALL ADULTS BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME VERY EXPLICIT SCENES IN IT AND SOME KIDS MIGHT DRAW THE WRONG CONCLUSION ABOUT RIGHT OR WRONG!
THIS MAN COMES FROM THE OLD SCHOOL OF THE CRAFTSMAN AND IT COMES OUT IN THE MOVIE! WE ALSO WATCHED ANOTHER MOVIE CALLED;”BE COOL” WITH JOHN TRAVOLTA! NOT ONE OF HIS BETTER EFFORTS BUT IT HELPED PASS THE TIME! AFTER THAT WE WATCHED ANOTHER “MAGNUM P.I. AND AS USUAL IT WAS PRETTY GOOD!
MOM CAN MAKE ANYONE A COPY OF “THE WORLDS FASTEST INDIAN” JUST LET HER KNOW AND YOU CAN PICK IT UP OR SHE’LL SNAIL MAIL IT TO YOU OR E-MAIL IT!
WE WATCHED SOME OF THE OPENING CEREMONIES FROM BEIJING THIS EVENING! YOU TALK ABOUT IMPRESSIVE, THE PROCESS THEY WENT THROUGH TO LIGHT THE CALDRON AND THE WAY ONE MAN WALKED AROUND THE TOP OF THE STADIUM SUSPENDED ON WIRES AND DOING MOTIONS LIKE HE WAS RUNNING WITH A SPOT LIGHT ON HIM CASTING HIS SHADDOW ON THE WALL WERE REALLY IMPRESSIVE! AND THE FIRE WORKS, REALLY OUTSTANDING, THE BEST I’VE SEEN SINCE THE ONES DONE ON MEMORIAL DAY IN WASHINGTON D.C.! THE PEOPLE OF VANCOVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA ARE GOING TO HAVE TO GO SOME TO EVEN EQUAL THE OPENING CEREMONIES PUT ON IN BEIJING, CHINA! OF COURSE THE CANADIANS AREN’T LIVING UNDER A COMMUNIST GOVERNMENT!
WE’VE GOT ALL THE PARTS WE NEED TO TRY AND CORRECT THE LOSS OF SPEED ON INCLINES OR HILLS IN THE INTREPID! IF IT STAYS COOL I MIGHT TRY TO CHANGE THE EGR VALVE AND PUT IN THE NEW TYPE OF SCREENED GASKET TO STOP CARBON FROM FORMING IN THE COMBUSTION CHAMBERS! WE ALSO BOUGHT TWO 02 SENSORS BUT THE CAR MUST BE UP IN THE AIR TO GET TO THEM BOTH!
MOM GOT THE NEW BULBS FOR THE HIGH STOP LIGHT INSIDE THE BACK GLASS ON THE PACKAGE TRAY!
AS I REPORTED IN AN EARLIER CHRONICLE MIKE SEEMS TO THINK THE POBLEM IS THE EGR VALVE AND NOT THE INJECTORS!
WONDERFUL NEW PRODUCT
ANNOUNCING THE NEW BUILT-IN ORDERLY ORGANIZED KNOWLEDGE DEVICE, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK.
IT'S A REVOLUTIONARY BREAKTHROUGH IN TECHNOLOGY: NO WIRES, NO ELECTRIC CIRCUITS, NO BATTERIES, NOTHING TO BE CONNECTED OR SWITCHED ON. IT'S SO EASY TO USE EVEN A CHILD CAN OPERATE IT. JUST LIFT ITS COVER. COMPACT AND PORTABLE, IT CAN BE USED ANYWHERE -- EVEN SITTING IN AN ARMCHAIR BY THE FIRE -- YET IT IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO HOLD ASS MUCH INFORMATION AS A CD-ROM DISK.
HERE'S HOW IT WORKS: EACH BOOK IS CONSTRUCTED OF SEQUENTIALLY NUMBERED SHEETS OF PAPER (RECYCLABLE), EACH CAPABLE OF HOLDING THOUSANDS OF BITS OF INFORMATION. THESE PAGES ARE LOCKED TOGETHER WITH A CUSTOM-FIT DEVICE CALLED A BINDER WHICH KEEPS THE SHEETS IN THEIR CORRECT SEQUENCE. BY USING BOTH SIDES OF EACH SHEET, MANUFACTURERS ARE ABLE TO CUT COSTS IN HALF.
EACH SHEET IS SCANNED OPTICALLY, REGISTERING INFORMATION DIRECTLY INTO YOUR BRAIN. A FLICK OF THE FINGER TAKES YOU TO THE NEXT SHEET. THE BOOK MAY BE TAKEN UP AT ANY TIME AND USED BY MERELY OPENING IT. THE "BROWSE" FEATURE ALLOWS YOU TO MOVE INSTANTLY TO ANY SHEET, AND MOVE FORWARD OR BACKWARD AS YOU WISH. MOST COME WITH AN "INDEX" FEATURE, WHICH PINPOINTS THE EXACT LOCATION OF ANY SELECTED INFORMATION FOR INSTANT RETRIEVAL.
AN OPTIONAL "BOOKMARK" ACCESSORY ALLOWS YOU TO OPEN THE BOOK TO THE EXACT PLACE YOU LEFT IT IN A PREVIOUS SESSION -- EVEN IF THE BOOK HAS BEEN CLOSED. BOOKMARKS FIT UNIVERSAL DESIGN STANDARDS; THUS A SINGLE BOOKMARK CAN BE USED IN BOOKS BY VARIOUS MANUFACTURERS.
PORTABLE, DURABLE AND AFFORDABLE, THE BOOK IS THE ENTERTAINMENT WAVE OF THE FUTURE, AND MANY NEW TITLES ARE EXPECTED SOON, DUE TO THE SURGE IN POPULARITY OF ITS PROGRAMMING TOOL, THE PORTABLE ERASABLE-NIB CRYPTIC INTERCOMMUNICATION LANGUAGE STYLUS [PENCIL].
I’LL REPOT SOME MORE ON ME AND BILL SHARKEY IN THE NEXT CHRONICLE! I CAME ACROSS THIS SHORT STORY ABOUT THE “BOOK” AND THOUGHT IT WOULD GIVE YOU ALL A LAUGH!
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE
HOWARD
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