HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 18 VOL 5
DECEMBER 18TH 2007
WEATHER; COOL, LOW HUMIDITY, 28/53 DEGREES
7 MORE DAYS, I SURE HOPE YOU’RE READY AND DON’T WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE TO GET THAT SPECIAL GIFT FOR THAT SPECIAL PERSON, IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE!
FIRST OFF I LEFT SOMETHING OUT OF THE LAST CHRONICLE SO I’M PUTTING IT IN THIS ONE!
“THERE IS GLOOM IN MUDVILLE TONIGHT; THE MIGHTY ROMO HAS STRUCK OUT”! ONE OF THE REPORTERS SAID THAT THE SAME THING HAPPENED LAST SEASON WHEN TONY ROMO BROUGHT A BLOND TO THE GAME, I THINK HE SAID IT WAS TERRY GARR,TO WATCH AND IT HAPPENED ON THE SAME DATE, DECEMBER 16TH 2006 HE HAD A LOUSEY GAME AND LOST! THIS REPORTERS SUGGESTION TO TONY IS “DUMP THE BLOND BEFORE YOU DUMP THE REST OF THE SEASON”! TO ME A COWBOY FAN THIS IS GOOD ADVICE, “DON’T BRING HER TO THE GAME TONY LEAVE HER HOME TO WATCH THE GAME ON TV”! I KNOW IT’S A NATURAL REACTION TO WANT TO DO GOOD WHEN SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU IS IN THE STANDS AND INVARIBLY YOU’LL TRY TOO HARD AND SCREW UP! IN YESTERDATS GAME IT WAS EVIDENT TONY HAD OTHER THAN THE GAME ON HIS MIND HE WAS SACKED TO MANY TIMES, OVER THREW HIS RECEIVERS, WASN’T WATCHING WHERE HIS WIDE RECEIVERS WERE ON THE FIELD, LEFT T.O. ALMOST COMPLETELY OUT OF THE GAME, I KNOW JASON WITTEN, PATRICK CRAYTON AND HURD ARE VERY GOOD AND WERE HIS PRIME RECEIVERS FOR THE SHORT PASS BUT T.O. IS HIS LONG BALL RECEIVER! HE CAN’T LEAVE T.O.OUT OF THE MIX LIKE HE DID! I ALSO REALIZE T.O. IS USED BY THE COACHES AS A DECOY TO KEEP THE LINE BACKERS OFF BALANCE AND HE DOES THAT WITHOUT COMPLAINING BUT YESTERDAYS GAME WAS A TOTAL WASHOUT BECAUSE TONY WAS TOO INTERESTED IN WHETHER THE BLOND WAS LOOKING AT HIM OR NOT! EVERYTIME THE CAMERA WAS ON HER SHE LOOKED TO BE FLIRTING WITH ALL THE GUYS AROUND HER! UNTIL AND IF YOU’RE GOING TO MARRY HER, TONY, KEEP HER AT HOME!!!!!!! I FOR ONE AM LOOKING FOR A SUPER BOWL OUT OF YOU AND THE TEAM!
WOW! WHAT A DAY! MOM AND I GOT THE TREE DECORATED AND IT SURE IS PRETTY, WE PUT UP SOME INSIDE LIGHTS WHICH I’LL FINISH WITH MORE TOMORROW WE PUT ALL THE CANDY AND CRUNCH MOM HAD MADE IN SMALL PLASTIC BAGS AND MOM WILL PUT THEM IN GIFT BAGS! SHE STILL HAS MORE THINGS TO MAKE FOR THE GIFT BAGS!
MY SON KERRY CALLED TODAY AND THE FIRST THING HE SAID WAS; “WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED TO THE COWBOYS?” I TOLD HIM EXACTLY WHAT I OPENED THIS CHRONICLE WITH AND TO BE MORE SPACIFIC, A BLOND! THAT’S ALL I CAN FIGURE IT WAS! TONY ROMO IS THE LEADER OF THIS TEAM BUT ON SUNDAY HE LED THEM INTO HARMSWAY AND I HOPE AND PRAY HE CAN LEAD THEM OUT OF HARMSWAY NEXT SUNDAY! THEY WENT INTO A WAR WITH ALL THE RIGHT PEOPLE BUT THEY FORGOT THEIR MAIN WEAPON, TERRELL OWENS! HE IS A GAME BREAKER WHETHER YOU LIKE HIM OR NOT!
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED; IF YOU’RE LOST AT SEA AND YOU RUN OUT OF FRESH WATER AND YOU DRINK SEA WATER IT’LL KILL YOU! BUT, IF IT RAINS AND YOU CATCH RAIN WATER AND CAN KEEP IT IN A JAR OR CANTEEN IT’S GOOD FRESH WATER! NOW THE CLOUDS DRAW THE SEA WATER UP AND THEN LET IT GO DOWN AS RAIN! WHERE DID THE SALT GO?
A CATHOLIC PRIEST AND A JEWISH RABBI WERE GOOD FRIEND AND PLAYED CHESS TOGETHER! THEY NEVER DISCUSSED RELIGION! ONE FRIDAY AFTERNOON AFTER CONFESSIONS THE LADIES ON THE ALTER SOCIETY PRESENTED FATHER MURPHY WITH A NEW CADILLAC FOR HIS 40 YEARS OF SERVICE TO THE PARRISH! FATER MURPHY WAS FLABBERGASTED AND THANKED THE LADIES WITH ALL HIS HEART! HE RUSHED IN THE RECTORY AND CLEANED UP FOR HIS VISIT TO THE RABBI’S HOUSE FOR THEIR WEEKLY GAME OF CHESS! AS HE WAS DRIVING TO THE RABBI’S HOUSE HE WAS SURPRISED TO SEE HIM SETTING ON THE BENCH WAITING FOR A BUS! HE PULLED OVER AND SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR ASKED ABE IF HE WANTED A RIDE! ABE JUST ABOUT SWALLOWED HIS TOUNGUE WHEN HE SUCKED IN HIS BREATH! VHERE’D YOU GET THE CIDDILAC? FATHER EXPLAINED ABOUT THE LADIES ALTER SOCIETY GIVING IT TO HIM FOR 40 YEARS OF SERVICE TO THE PARRISH! ABE STARTED TO GET IN THE PASSENGER SIDE WHEN FATHER MURPHY ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED TO DRIVE THINKING HOW NEAT IT WOULD BE TO HAVE ABE CHAUFFEUR HIM! ABE GOT BEHIND THE WHEEL AND PUT IT IN GEAR THEN STOMPED ON THE ACCELERATOR, THE CADILLAC JUMPED AND HEADED STRAIGHT FOR A BUS STANDING ON THE CROSS STREET! WHEN THEY HIT THE BUS THEY MUST HAVE BEEN DOING 50 MPH AND FATHER MURPHY ENDED UP IN WHAT WAS LEFT OF THE FRONT SEAT NEXT TO ABE WHO WAS SETTING THERE WITH HIS HAT BRIM DOWN AROUND HIS NECK AND THE STEERING WHEEL IN BOTH HANDS NOT CONNECTED TO ANYTHING! ABE HAD NEVER DRIVEN BEFORE AND SAID; “IF I VASAN’T A MAN OF THE CLOTH A WOID THIS LONG (HE SHOWED ABOUT 6” WITH HIS FINGERS) WOULD COME OUT OF MY MOUTH!” FATHER MURPHT SAID; “IF IT WASN’T FRIDAY I’D TAKE A BITE OUT OF YOUR ASS!”
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
No comments:
Post a Comment