DAILY CHRONICLE #29 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

 

NUMBER 29 VOL 9

 

APRIL 29^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; NICE, MED HUMIDITY, 46/83 DEGREES

 

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; GENE KELLY DANCED WITH NONE OTHER THAN “JERRY MOUSE” IN ANCHORS AWAY!”

 

POP QUIZ; WHO DID THE “SHADOW DANCE” WITH GENE KELLY IN “SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN”

 

MOM AND I WENT TO R&D FOR THE WIRING HARNESS FOR THE INTREPID, WHEN KELLY GOT HOME HE LAID IT OUT AND SAW THAT THE TWO PLUGS HE NEEDED HAD BEEN CUT OUT OF THE LOOM! I’LL TAKE IT BACK TOMORROW AND SEE IF THEY HAVE A GOOD ONE IN ANOTHER WRECK! I THINK I’LL TAKE THE INTREPID UP TO R&D TOMORROW SO THEY CAN SEE WHAT I NEED!

 

I ALSO GOT THE PLASTIC GRILL THAT GOES ACROSS UNDER THE WIPERS!

 

I LEFT THE FAN MOTORS FOR TIMS NEON WITH THEM SO THEY CAN MAYBE MATCH THEM UP FROM A DIFFERENT CAR! I ALSO LEFT THE ONE HUB CAP THAT WAS ON THE INTREPID TO SEE IF THEY CAN MATCH IT OR COME UP WITH A SET OF 4 OTHER CAPS, I’D LIKE TO HAVE THE ORIGINALS!

 

TALKED TO BILL MASON TONIGHT, HE’S DOING OK BUT HAS THE SAME PROBLEM I HAVE, WE TRY TO DO A LITTLE WORK OUT SIDE AND AFTER A WHILE WE HAVE TO SET DOWN AND REST ABOUT 10 MINUTES. THEN WE CAN GET UP AND WORK A LITTLE LONGER! HE GOT HIS CDL SO HE CAN GO BACK TO WORK WHEN THEY CALL HIM! HE HOPES TO HAVE THE MESS WITH LEONA SETTLED BY NEXT WEEK, SHE’S REALLY BEING AN ASS ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING, OF COURSE WE SAW WHAT SHE COULD TURN INTO THE LAST TIME THEY WERE HERE, A REAL WITCH!

FYI

PHONE REPAIR

A  Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Thought you'd like to know.

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #28 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

 

NUMBER 28 VOL 9

 

APRIL 28^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 43/83 DEGREES

 

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; “DIABLO” WAS CISCO’S HORSES NAME.

 

POP QUIZ; WHO DID GENE KELLY DANCE WITH IN “ANCHOR’S AWAY?”

 

I CRANKED UP THE INTREPID TODAY AND TOOK IT OUT ON THE ROAD FOR A TEST DRIVE. EVERYTHING IS FINE EXCEPT IT HAS A MISS ABOVE AN IDLE! IT PULLS GOOD AND SHIFTS GREAT! THE BOOK SAYS IT COULD BE THE WIRING TO/FROM THE 02 SENSORS! I’M GOING TO R&D TOMORROW AND TAKE TIM’S FAN MOTORS FOR THEM TO TRY AND MATCH UP WITH FAN MOTORS FROM ANOTHER CAR SINCE THEY DON’T HAVE ANY FROM A 97’ DODGE NEON. AT THE SAME TIME I’LL SEE IF THEY’LL GET ME THE WIRING HARNESS FOR THE 02 SENSORS OUT OF THE CAR THE TRANSMISSION CAME OUT OF ALONG WITH SOME OTHER PARTS I NEED!

 

WHEN KELLY GOT HOME HE DROVE THE CAR AND NOTICED THE MISS ALSO, HE RAISED THE HOOD AND STARTED CHECKING THINGS OVER, HE FOUND WHERE SOMEONE HAD “MICKEY MOUSED” THE WIRING TO THE 02 SENSORS AND HE BELIEVES THIS IS THE PROBLEM, I SURE HOPE SO! HE ADDED 134A TO THE A/C AND MAN DOES IT COOL NOW, I RAN IT ON LOW BLOWER AND HAD TO ADD A LITTLE WARM AIR TO KEEP FROM TURNING BLUE!

 

MOM HAD TO GO AND SET WITH KONNER WHILE SHANNON KEPT A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT.

 

TIM AND ELYSE ARE COMING UP SATURDAY TO MOVE THE TV AND THE REST OF THE FURNITURE SO WE HAVE MORE ROOM IN THE LIVING ROOM! WE LOST THE SOUND FROM THE TV THAT COMES OUT OF THE DVD PLAYER, I MUST HAVE PUSHED THE WRONG SERIES OF BUTTONS TRYING TO STOP SUROUND SOUND, IT MAKES MY HEAD SET VIBRATE!

 

MY HUMMING BIRD POPULATION IS PICKING UP, I SAW 3 DIFFERENT ONE TODAY, 1 GRAY BACK, 1 RED HEAD WITH A WHITE STRIPE AROUNG IT’S NECK AND 1 LUCIFER (THEY HAVE A LONG CURVED BEAK). NOW IF THE GREEN BACK SHOWS UP THAT’S ALL I CAN HOPE FOR! LAST YEAR I HAD TWO BROWN ONES BUT THEY HAVEN’T SHOWED UP THIS YEAR!

 

PASSWORD

A GUY WAS TYPING AWAY AT HIS HOME COMPUTER, WHEN HIS SIX- YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER SNEAKED UP BEHIND HIM.

SUDDENLY, SHE TURNED AND RAN INTO THE KITCHEN, SQUEALING TO THE REST OF THE FAMILY, "I KNOW DADDY'S PASSWORD! I KNOW DADDY'S PASSWORD!"

"WHAT IS IT?" HER SISTERS ASKED EAGERLY.

PROUDLY SHE REPLIED, "ASTERISK, ASTERISK, ASTERISK, ASTERISK, ASTERISK!"

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #27 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 27 VOL 9

 

APRIL 27^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; NICE, LOW HUMIDITY, 43/65 DEGREES

 

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; “DUNCAN RENALDO” PLAYED THE “CISCO KID IN THE TV SERIES.

 

POP QUIZ; WHAT WAS CISCO’S HORSES NAME?

 

GOT UP TO RAIN BUT STILL MADE 9:30 MASS, THE RAIN QUIT BEFORE WE GOT TO CHURCH BUT IT WAS RAINING HEAVY WHEN WE GOT OUT!

 

WE STOPPED FOR GAS ON THE WAY HOME, WE’VE DECIDED TO FILL UP WHEN THE TANK GETS DOWN TO ½ FULL! WE GOT 23.1 MPG ON THIS ½ TANK! WE WERE CLICKING THE NOZZELL 3 TIMES AFTER IT SHUT OFF BUT MOM HEARD ON TV WHERE THAT ACTUALLY CHEATS YOU OUT OF A SMALL AMOUNT OF GAS SO NOW WHEN IT KICKS BACK WE PULL THE NOZZELL AND HANG IT UP! WE’LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

 

KELLY WAS GOING TO WORK ON THE INTREPID TODAY BUT WITH ALL THE RAIN AND COLD TEMP HE DECIDED TO DO IT TOMORROW! HE AND TIM DECIDED TO CHECK OVER EVERYTHING THEY DID TO BE SURE IT’S ALL OK WHICH WE HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH! KELLY WILL BE DOING THE WORK, TIM WON’T BE UP FOR ANOTHR 2-3 WEEKS!

 

I THINK SOMETHING IS NOT PLUGGED IN OR NOT PLUGGED IN TIGHT! WE’LL WORK THIS OUT BUT I’M SURE PLEASED THE WAY THE TRANSMISSION SHIFTS AND IS SO QUIET! AFTER WE PUT 100 MILES ON IT KELLY WILL CHANGE THE FILTER AND FLUID, THEN IT’LL BE UP TO ME TO KEEP AND EYE ON IT SO WE DON’T DEVELOPE ANY PROBLEMS!

 

WHEN WE GET THE MISS OUT OF THE ENGINE AND START DRIVING IT WE’RE HOPING THIS WILL BE THE LAST CAR WE WILL NEED! FROM HERE ON IN IT SHOULD BE PERIODIC PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE, SOMETHING I’M REAL FAMILIAR WITH! I SET UP A FLIGHT LINE P.M. SCHEDULE ON B-47 “STRATOJET” WHEN I WAS IN THE AIR FORCE! THEY HAD A MAINTENANCE SCHEDULE WHEN I FIRST CHECKED INTO THE SQUADRON BUT THEY WERE HAVING TOO MANY AIRCRAFT ABORTING ON TAXIE AND TAKE OFF RUNS! W.O.4 MONAHAN MY N.C.O.I.C. ASKED ME IF I COULD HELP HIM DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND I TOLD HIM I’D LIKE TO TRY! AFTER GOING OVER THE WRITEUPS FOR SOME OF THE ABORTS I TOLD HIM I THOUGHT IT WASN’T DUE TO MAINTENANCE BUT NOT DOING PERIODIC PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE ON THINGS LIKE FUEL TRANSFER VALVES, HYDROLIC PUMPS, FLAP MOTORS, THESE WERE BEING DONE WHEN THERE WAS A FAILURE NOT ON A “TIME IN SERVICE” BASIS! I DID A STUDY ON EACH ITEM AND DETERMINED FROM INFORMATION RECEIVED FROM THE MANUFACTURER  HOW LONG A PIECE WOULD GO BEFORE BREAKING DOWN AND TURNED THIS INFORMATION OVER TO W.O. MONOHAN! HE WENT TO OFFUTT AFB IN NEBRASKA WITH THE PROPOSAL AND AFTER 3 MONTH WE GOT THE GO AHEAD TO PUT IT IN OPERATION. THEY EVEN OK’ED MY SUGGESTION TO HAVE THE BOMBARDER/NAVIGATOR OR INFLIGHT CREW CHIEF WHO WROTE UP THE MAINTENANCE REQUEST SHEET TO ALSO USE A WIRE RECORDER TO LIST ALL THE DESCRIPENCIES ON FOR THE CLERK TYPISTS WHO TYPED UP THE REQUEST FOR THE DIFFERENT SHOPS TO WORK FROM! I DIDN’T KNOW IT AT THE TIME BUT W.O. 4 MONAHAN HAD SERVED WITH MY FATHER ON THE OLD USS CALIFORNIA! HE CALLED ME IN HIS OFFICE ONE DAY AND RIGHT OUT ASKED ME IF I KNEW A, LUTHER H. MAHONEY AN EX-NAVY MAN? I TOLD HIM YES, HE WAS MY FATHER HE SAID HE WAS A S.R. (SEAMAN RECRUIT) IN SUPPLY UNDER MY FATHER! HE ASKED FOR MY FATHER’S ADDRESS SO HE COULD WRITE HIM WHICH I GAVE HIM. I DON’T KNOW IF HE EVER CONTACTED HIM OR NOT! I ALSO FOUND OUT LATER HE PUT HIS NAME ONLY ON THE PROPOSAL I WORKED UP FOR THE SQUADRON! AFTER TELLING HIM MY FEELING ABOUT THIS I IMMEDIATELY REQUESTED A TRANSFER TO SPECIAL SERVICES WHICH HE APPROVED! I WAS AFRAID IF I STAYED IN THE SQUADRON I’D LOSE MY TEMPER AND SMASH HIM IN THE MOUTH WHICH WOULD GET ME TIME IN LEVENWORTH, I DIDN’T NEED THAT! HE NEVER DID TRY TO EXPLAIN WHY HE DID THAT TO ME!

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

 

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #26 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

 

NUMBER 26 VOL 9

 

APRIL 26^TH 2008

 

WEATHER; BEAUTIFUL, MED HUMIDITY, 42/78 DEGREES

 

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; “LEO CARRILLO” PLAYED PANCHO IN THE LONG LASTING “CISCO KID” TV SERIES.

 

POP QUIZ; WHO PLAYED THE “CISCO KID” IN THE TV SERIES/

 

WE WENT TO TIMS TODAY SO HE COULD WORK ON MOM’S COMPUTER AND WE ALSO TOOK THINGS DOWN FROM SHANNON AND PICKED UP MORE THINGS FOR HER FROM TIM AND ELYSE!

 

WE HEADED HOME ABOUT 9:00 AND WALKED IN THE DOOR AT 9:57! VERY LIGHT TRAFFIC!

 

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHORT, I’M TIRED BUT, HERE’S A COUPLE OF JOKES FROM ARCAMAX!

 

SNICKERIN' AT BUMPERS

- HANG UP AND DRIVE!

- WELCOME TO AMERICA. NOW SPEAK ENGLISH

- HEART ATTACKS. GOD'S  REVENGE FOR EATING HIS ANIMAL FRIENDS.

- DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING? THEN QUIT WATCHING ME.

- SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. I CALL THESE PEOPLE: "EVERYBODY, BUT ME."

- TRY NOT TO LET YOUR MIND WANDER. IT IS TOO SMALL AND FRAGILE TO BE OUT BY ITSELF.

- EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE STUPID BUT YOU ABUSE THE PRIVILEGE.

- I SMILE BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON.

- STOP FOLLOWING ME. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING

LITTLE JOHNNY AND GEOGRAPHY

TEACHER: LITTLE JOHNNY, GO TO THE MAP AND FIND NORTH AMERICA.

LITTLE JOHNNY: HERE IT IS!

TEACHER: CORRECT. NOW, CLASS, WHO DISCOVERED AMERICA?

CLASS: LITTLE JOHNNY!

 

WELL, WHO ELSE FOUND IT ON THE MAP?

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

 

HOWARD

 

 

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #25 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 25 VOL 9

APRIL 25^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 58/77 DEGREES

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; “THOMAS MITCHELL” PLAYED THE PART OF THE FATHER IN THE MOVIE; THE SULLIVANS (AKA THE FIGHTING SULLIVANS)

POP QUIZ; WHO PLAYED “PANCHO” IN THE LONG PLAYING “CISCO KID” TV SERIES

REALLY A SLOW DAY FOR INFORMATION! I MORE OR LESS JUST LAZED AROUND AND WATCHED THE WORLD GO BYE. MOM WENT TO TOWN TO GET SOME MORE HUMMINGBIRD FEEDER MIX AND OTHER GROCERIES!

I TOOK THE INTREPID AND FILLED IT WITH GAS, IT TOOK 15.57 GALLONS AND COST $53.23, I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK, MOM USUALLY DOES THE FILLING AND PAYING SO I HAD NEVER SEEN THAT MUCH ON A PUMP METER FOR 15.57 GALLONS OF GAS!

YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY BOTHERS ME IS, THE OIL THE OIL COMPANIES ARE REFINING TODAY THEY BOUGHT FOR $38.00 A BARRELL, THIS B.S. WERE GETTING NOW IN BASED ON “FUTURES” NOT THE ACTUAL PRICE BEING PAID BY THE OIL COMPANIES FOR A BARRELL OF CRUDE!

MR. BUSH BETTER COME UP WITH  SOMETHING QUICK OR SOME NUTS ARE LIABLE TO TAKE THE LAW INTO THEIR OWN HANDS AND REALLY GET IMPEACHMENT PROCEEDING GOING FOR HIM AND CHENEY AND THERE WOULD GO HIS “LEGACEY” FOR WHAT IT’S GOING TO BE WORTH ANYHOW!

 

 

AS I SEE IT;

	1.   STOP PUTTING OIL IN THE NATIONAL RESERVES!           2. CUT ALL FEDERAL TAXES OFF GAS FOR ATLEAST 2 YEARS! 3. REQUIRE THE STATES TO DO THE SAME!  THE TAXES ON GAS AREN’T GOING WHERE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO GO, WHICH IS TO MAINTAIN OUR HIGHWAYS, BRIDGES AND INFERSTRUCTURE! 4.   BY MAINTAINING OUR HIGHWAYS, BRIDGES AND INFERSTRUCTURE WE WOULD PUT MILLIONS OF PEOPLE BACK TO WORK NO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS WOULD BE ELIGIBLE TILL ALL AMERICAN CITIZENS WHO CAN ARE BACK TO WORK, PAYING TAXES AND  SUPPORTING THEIR FAMILIES! 5.   START A MOVEMENT TO FIRE ALL CONGRESSMEN AND WOMEN WHO AREN’T DOING WHAT THEY’RE HIRED TO DO! DO THE SAME IN THE SENATE! IN OTHER WORDS DON’T WAIT FOR THE INCOMING PRESIDENT TO MAKE THE DECISION TO TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY, WE MUST DO IT NOW! THE POLITICIANS HAVE HAD OVER 50 YEARS OF  LYING TO THE VOTERS TO GET THEIR JOBS AND NOT DOING ANYTHING THEY PROMISED TO PROTECT THE VOTERS RIGHTS! 6.   REINSTITUTE THE CCC (CIVILIAN CONSERVATION CORPS) 7.   OPA (OFFICE OF PRICE ADMINSTRATION) THIS WOULD CONTROL               THE PRICES TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC! 8.THE WORKS PROGRESS ADMINISTRATION (WPA) WAS A RELIEF MEASURE ESTABLISHED IN 1935 BY EXECUTIVE ORDER AS THE WORKS PROGRESS ADMINISTRATION, AND WAS REDESIGNED IN 1939 WHEN IT WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE FEDERAL WORKS AGENCY. HEADED BY HARRY L. HOPKINS AND SUPPLIED WITH AN INITIAL CONGRESSIONAL APPROPRIATION OF $4,880,000,000, IT OFFERED WORK TO THE UNEMPLOYED ON AN UNPRECEDENTED SCALE BY SPENDING MONEY ON A WIDE VARIETY OF PROGRAMS, INCLUDING HIGHWAYS AND BUILDING CONSTRUCTION, SLUM CLEARANCE, REFORESTATION, AND RURAL REHABILITATION. SO GIGANTIC AN UNDERTAKING WAS INEVITABLY ATTENDED BY CONFUSION, WASTE, AND POLITICAL FAVORITISM, YET THE  'PUMP-PRIMING' EFFECT STIMULATED PRIVATE BUSINESS DURING THE DEPRESSION YEARS (AUDIO CLIP, 87K) AND INAUGURATED REFORMS THAT STATES HAD BEEN UNABLE TO SUBSIDIZE.	.
	WE ARE IN A STATE OF WAR AND THE WHOLE COUNTRY SHOULD BE ON A WAR FOOTING JUST AS WE WERE IN 1941-1945 FOR WWII!

 

MR. BUSH IS USING THE GAS TAX MONEY TO HELP FIGHT HIS ILEGAL WAR IN IRAQ!

IF WE WERE TO BRING THE TROOPS HOME AND LET IRAQ FEND FOR HER SELF WHICH IF FORCED TOO SHE CAN FIGHT ALL THE FACTIONS THAT WE’RE DOING FOR THEM AT A TERRIBLE PRICE IN LIVES AND MONEY!

WE WOULD RELEASE MILLIONS OF GALLONS OF FUEL BACK TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC THUS RELEAVING THE GAS CRISIS WE NOW HAVE! OF COURSE THE “SPECULATORS” WOULD LOSE MILLIONS AND WOULDN’T THAT BE A CRYIN’ SHAME?

BRINGING THE TROOPS HOME WOULD ALSO GIVE US TIME TO REBUILD THE MILITARY, AS REPORTED THE ARMY IS BROKE BOTH IN MONEY AND MANPOWER, BUT NOT MORAL! THE SAME IS TRUE OF ALL THE BRANCHES YOU CAN JUST EXPECT SO MUCH OF A HUMAN BEING! OH, THEY’LL GO ON AS LONG AS THEY HAVE A BREATH LEFT BUT WHAT OF THOSE WHO HAVE ALREADY GIVEN SO MUCH?

ON THE WAY TO HEAVEN

ONE DAY AS JERRY, PERRY, AND CLETUS WERE ON THEIR WAY TO HEAVEN.

GOD TOLD THEM THE STAIRS TO HEAVEN WERE 1,000 STEPS AND ON EVERY STEP HE WAS GOING TO TELL THEM A JOKE. IF THEY LAUGHED THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GET TO HEAVEN.

SO JERRY MADE IT TO THE 45TH STEP AND LAUGHED.

PERRY MADE IT TO THE 200TH STEP AND LAUGHED.

BUT CLETUS MADE IT TO THE 999TH STEP AND LAUGHED EVEN BEFORE GOD TOLD HIS JOKE.

GOD ASKED, "WHY DID YOU LAUGH?  I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD THE JOKE YET"

CLETUS RESPONDED, "I KNOW I JUST NOW GOT THE FIRST ONE!!!"

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #24 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 24 VOL 9

APRIL 24^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM; HIGH HUMIDITY, 43/83 DEGREES

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; “USS JUNEAU” WAS THE NAME OF THE SHIP ALL FIVE OF THE SULLIVAN BROTHERS DIED ON!

POP QUIZ; WHO PLAYED THE FATHER OF THE FIVE SULLIVANS IN THE MOVIE?

WE TOOK THE FAN BACK TO R&D TODAY AND GOT A CREDIT! THEY TRIED TO MAKE IT WORK BUT IT WOULDN’T MOVE SO THEY THREW IT IN THE TRASH! WE LEFT THERE AND WENT TO THE BANK THEN TO HOME DEPOT WHERE MOM GOT SOME PLANTS, TOP SOIL AND A PLUG FOR THE DECK CEILING FAN WHICH I PUT ON THE WIRE SO NOW WE CAN PLUG IT IN SAFELY!

ON THE WAY HOME I NOTICED THE TEMP GAGE IN THE ACCLAIM WAS STARTING TO CLIMB, I THOUGHT, “NOW WHAT?” WHEN WE GOT HOME I LIFTED THE HOOD AND CHECKED THE ANTI FREEZE IN THE RADIATOR AND THE RECOVERY TANK. THE RADIATOR WAS COOL TO THE TOUCH BUT THE RECOVERY TANK WAS BUBBLING AND FILLING UP AND STEAMING! THIS ALL POINTED TO A STUCK THERMOSTAT BUT I LEFT IT FOR KELLY SINCE HE WAS THE LAST ONE TO WORK ON IT! WHEN HE GOT HOME HE CAME OVER TO SEE WHY THE HOOD WAS UP AND WE TOLD HIM IT HAD OVER HEATED! HE CHECKED EVERYTHING AND THEN ASKED ME IF I HAD PULLED THE RECOVERY HOSE OFF THE PLACE UNDER THE CAP, I SAID NO THEN HE SAID HE MUST HAVE LEFT IT OFF YESTERDAY WHEN HE HAD IT ALL APART! THIS LET THE ANTI FREEZE THAT WOULD HAVE GONE IN THE RECOVERY TANK GO OUT ON THE GROUND. AFTER A FEW OF THESE LOSSES IT WOULD START HEATING UP BECAUSE IT WASN’T REFILLING THE RADIATOR OUT OF THE RECOVERY TANK!

I GOT AN E-MAIL FROM PEGGY LAST NIGHT AND SHE SAID THEY RACE FOR THE FIRST TIME AT BAKERSFIELD THEIR NEW HOME TRACK THIS COMING WEEKEND! SHE HAS A NEW TRANSBRAKE SO PAUL AND TOM (PAULS BROTHER WHO IS THE SPONSOR, HE OWNS CALVERT RACING AND MANUFACTURES ALL KINDS OF RACING SUSPENSION PARTS AND EQUIPMENT) WANT HER TO LAUNCH BETWEEN 3,500 AND 4,000 RPM! SHE SAID SHE’LL TRY IT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS! SHE ALSO GOT A NEW INTAKE MANIFOLD A VICTOR JR SO PAUL REBUILT HER CARB WITH A PRO FORM BODY WHICH MAKES IT A 750! THEY THINK SHE SHOULD TURN IN THE 12:20 -30s! I ASKED HER TO KEEP ME POSTED!

KAYLYNN AND MIKE SURE LIKE THE NEW HOUSE, LITTLE MIKEY TOOK OVER THE BACKYARD, IT’S HIS! TAYLAH GOT A TREE WHICH SHE LOVES BECAUSE SHE LIKES TO CLIMB THEM! IT HAS AN 18 FOOT ROUND SWIMMING POOL IN THE BACK THAT’S FENCED IN WITH A DECK AROUND IT!

JACQUE IS DOING BETTER AND WANTS TO COME AND VISIT SOMETIME THIS YEAR, WE TOLD HER THE DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN!

HERE ARE SOME PRETTY INTERESTING THINGS FROM BOB GUZMAN, MY NIECE MARY’S HUSBAND!

 

HI  AH,.... HUMMM LET ME THINK ,...WHY DID I SEND YOU THIS......DON'T TELL ME  IT'S  COMING TO ME..... OH YA..... SENIOR CITIZENS ARE CONSTANTLY BEING CRITICIZED FOR EVERY CONCEIVABLE DEFICIENCY OF THE MODERN WORLD, REAL OR IMAGINARY.  WE KNOW WE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ALL WE HAVE DONE AND DO NOT BLAME OTHERS. HOWEVER, UPON REFLECTION, WE WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT IT WAS NOT THE SENIOR CITIZENS WHO TOOK:      THE MELODY OUT OF MUSIC,     THE PRIDE OUT OF APPEARANCE,     THE COURTESY OUT OF DRIVING,     THE ROMANCE OUT OF LOVE,     THE COMMITMENT OUT OF MARRIAGE,     THE RESPONSIBILITY OUT OF PARENTHOOD,     THE TOGETHERNESS OUT OF THE FAMILY,     THE LEARNING OUT OF EDUCATION,     THE SERVICE OUT OF PATRIOTISM,     THE GOLDEN RULE FROM RULERS,     THE NATIVITY SCENE OUT OF CITIES,     THE CIVILITY OUT OF BEHAVIOR,     THE REFINEMENT OUT OF LANGUAGE,     THE DEDICATION OUT OF EMPLOYMENT,     THE PRUDENCE OUT OF SPENDING,     THE AMBITION OUT OF ACHIEVEMENT, OR,     GOD OUT OF GOVERNMENT AND SCHOOL. AND WE CERTAINLY ARE NOT THE ONES WHO ELIMINATED PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE FROM PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS!!          AND, WE DO UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF PATRIOTISM, AND REMEMBER THOSE WHO HAVE FOUGHT AND DIED FOR OUR COUNTRY. DOES ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 50 KNOW THE LYRICS TO THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER?   OR O CANADA                                  JUST LOOK AT THE SENIORS WITH TEARS IN THEIR EYES AND PRIDE IN THEIR HEARTS AS THEY STAND AT ATTENTION, ON VETERANS DAY AND OUR GREAT COUNTRY'S   BIRTHDAY .   YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN! I'M THE LIFE OF THE PARTY......    EVEN IF IT LASTS UNTIL 8 P.M. I'M VERY GOOD AT OPENING CHILDPROOF CAPS...   WITH A HAMMER. I'M USUALLY INTERESTED IN GOING HOME BEFORE I GET TO WHERE I AM GOING. I'M AWAKE MANY HOURS BEFORE MY BODY ALLOWS ME TO GET UP. I'M SMILING ALL THE TIME BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR A THING YOU'RE SAYING. I'M VERY GOOD AT TELLING STORIES; OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER... I'M AWARE THAT OTHER PEOPLE'S GRANDCHILDREN ARE NOT NEARLY AS CUTE AS MINE. I'M SO CARED FOR --- LONG TERM CARE, EYE CARE, PRIVATE CARE, DENTAL CARE. I'M NOT REALLY GROUCHY, I JUST DON'T LIKE TRAFFIC, WAITING, CROWDS, LAWYERS, LOUD MUSIC, UNRULY KIDS, JENNY CRAIG AND TOYOTA COMMERCIALS,  BARKING DOGS, POLITICIANS AND A FEW OTHER THINGS I CAN'T SEEM TO REMEMBER RIGHT NOW. I'M SURE EVERYTHING I CAN'T FIND IS IN A SAFE SECURE PLACE,  SOME WHERE. I'M WRINKLED, SAGGY, LUMPY, AND THAT'S JUST MY LEFT LEG. I'M HAVING TROUBLE REMEMBERING SIMPLE WORDS LIKE....... I'M BEGINNING TO REALIZE THAT AGING IS NOT FOR WIMPS. I'M SURE THEY ARE MAKING ADULTS MUCH YOUNGER THESE DAYS, AND WHEN DID THEY LET KIDS BECOME POLICEMEN? I'M WONDERING, IF YOU'RE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL, HOW COULD I BE ALIVE AT 150? AND, HOW CAN MY KIDS BE OLDER THAN I FEEL SOMETIMES? I'M A WALKING STOREROOM OF FACTS.....  I'VE JUST LOST THE KEY TO THE STOREROOM DOOR. YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN AND I THINK I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE! NOW IF I COULD ONLY REMEMBER WHO SENT THIS TO ME, I WOULDN'T SEND IT BACK TO THEM,  BUT,  I WOULD SEND IT TO MANY MORE! NOW- HAVE I ALREADY SENT THIS TO YOU??????? THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE HOWARD

 

 

 

 

 

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #23 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 23 VOL 9

APRIL 23^RD 2008

WEATHER; WARM, HIGH HUMIDITY, 51/77 DEGREES

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; THE HOT SHOT SELF CENTERED PILOT WAS PLAYED BY “JOHN CARROLL”

POP QUIZ; IN THE MOVIE “THE SULLIVANS” (LATER RENAMED “THE FIGHTING SULLIVANS”) WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE SHIP ALL FIVE OF THE BROTHERS WENT DOWN WITH DURING WWII?

WE MAY NOT BE IN A “RECESSION” LIKE OLE’ GEORGIE BOY SAYS BUT, WERE SO DEEP IN SOME KIND OF CA, CA, THAT IF SOMEBODY DOESN’T DO SOMETHING AND SOON WHAT THE BIBLE HAS PREDICTED WILL START TAKING PLACE, WARS, FAMINE, AND PESTULANCE! JUST LOOK AROUND AND YOU CAN SEE THE THINGS IT MENTIONS!

WENT TO BONHAM THIS MORNING ABOUT MY LEG AND THE DOCTOR SAID IT WAS SOME KIND OF BITE OR BRUSE THAT BECAME INFECTED! I PICKED UP SOME MEDICATION AT THE PHARMACY THAT SHOULD TAKE CARE OF IT! ON THE WAY BACK AS WE GOT INTO DENISON THE ACCLAM STARTED TO OVERHEAT, THE FAN I GOT FROM R&D WON’T TURN FAST ENOUGH TO KEEP THE ENGINE COOL IN TRAFFIC! WE PICKED UP THE INTREPID AND LEFT THE ACCLAIM TO COOL DOWN, WE WENT BACK ABOUT 2 HOURS LATER AND ADDED SOM WATER TO THE OVERFLOW TANK AND MOM HEADED HOME WITH IT, SHE MADE IT FINE AND WHEN KELLY GOT HOME HE FIXED OUR OLD FAN, HE REPLACED THE DRIVE PIN WITH A NEW ROLL PIN AND PUT IT ON, IT RUNS ABOUT 10 TIMES FASTER THAN THE OTHER ONE AND WILL WORK FINE! I TOOK THE INTREPID AND WENT TO THE TAG OFFICE, THEY WANTED TO CHECK THE VIN NUMBER AND GET THE MILEAGE! I HEADED HOME AND TRIED THE CRUISE, IT WORKS FINE! WE’LL LEAVE IT PARKED TILL KELLY CAN GET ON IT TO CHECK IT ALL OVER WHICH HE SAID WOULD BE SUNDAY!

MORE GOOD ADVICE - MILITARY STYLE

- "AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY." - INSTRUCTION PRINTED ON US ROCKET LAUNCHER

- "CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52S IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND." - USAF

- "WHEN THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU." - INFANTRY JOURNAL

- "IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU JUST BOMBED." - U.S. AIR FORCE MANUAL

- "TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS." - U.S. ARMY ORDNANCE

- "BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID."

- "IF YOU SEE A BOMB TECHNICIAN RUNNING, FOLLOW HIM." - USAF

- "THOUGH I FLY THROUGH THE VALLEY OF DEATH ... I SHALL FEAR NO EVIL FOR I AM AT 80,000 FEET AND CLIMBING." - AT THE ENTRANCE TO THE OLD SR-71 OPERATING BASE KADENA JAPAN

- "YOU'VE NEVER BEEN LOST UNTIL YOU'VE BEEN LOST AT MACH 3." - PAUL F. CRICKMORE (TEST PILOT)

- "THE ONLY TIME YOU HAVE TOO MUCH FUEL IS WHEN YOU'RE ON FIRE."

- "BLUE WATER NAVY TRUISM: THERE ARE MORE PLANES IN THE OCEAN THAN SUBMARINES IN THE SKY." --FROM AN OLD CARRIER SAILOR

- "IF THE WINGS ARE TRAVELING FASTER THAN THE FUSELAGE, IT'S PROBABLY A HELICOPTER -- AND THEREFORE, UNSAFE."

- "WHEN ONE ENGINE FAILS ON A TWIN-ENGINE AIRPLANE YOU ALWAYS HAVE ENOUGH POWER LEFT TO GET YOU TO THE SCENE OF THE CRASH."

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

HOWARD

 

 

 

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #23 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 23 VOL 9

APRIL 23^RD 2008

WEATHER; WARM, HIGH HUMIDITY, 51/77 DEGREES

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; THE HOT SHOT SELF CENTERED PILOT WAS PLAYED BY “JOHN CARROLL”

POP QUIZ; IN THE MOVIE “THE SULLIVANS” (LATER RENAMED “THE FIGHTING SULLIVANS”) WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE SHIP ALL FIVE OF THE BROTHERS WENT DOWN WITH DURING WWII?

WE MAY NOT BE IN A “RECESSION” LIKE OLE’ GEORGIE BOY SAYS BUT, WERE SO DEEP IN SOME KIND OF CA, CA, THAT IF SOMEBODY DOESN’T DO SOMETHING AND SOON WHAT THE BIBLE HAS PREDICTED WILL START TAKING PLACE, WARS, FAMINE, AND PESTULANCE! JUST LOOK AROUND AND YOU CAN SEE THE THINGS IT MENTIONS!

WENT TO BONHAM THIS MORNING ABOUT MY LEG AND THE DOCTOR SAID IT WAS SOME KIND OF BITE OR BRUSE THAT BECAME INFECTED! I PICKED UP SOME MEDICATION AT THE PHARMACY THAT SHOULD TAKE CARE OF IT! ON THE WAY BACK AS WE GOT INTO DENISON THE ACCLAM STARTED TO OVERHEAT, THE FAN I GOT FROM R&D WON’T TURN FAST ENOUGH TO KEEP THE ENGINE COOL IN TRAFFIC! WE PICKED UP THE INTREPID AND LEFT THE ACCLAIM TO COOL DOWN, WE WENT BACK ABOUT 2 HOURS LATER AND ADDED SOM WATER TO THE OVERFLOW TANK AND MOM HEADED HOME WITH IT, SHE MADE IT FINE AND WHEN KELLY GOT HOME HE FIXED OUR OLD FAN, HE REPLACED THE DRIVE PIN WITH A NEW ROLL PIN AND PUT IT ON, IT RUNS ABOUT 10 TIMES FASTER THAN THE OTHER ONE AND WILL WORK FINE! I TOOK THE INTREPID AND WENT TO THE TAG OFFICE, THEY WANTED TO CHECK THE VIN NUMBER AND GET THE MILEAGE! I HEADED HOME AND TRIED THE CRUISE, IT WORKS FINE! WE’LL LEAVE IT PARKED TILL KELLY CAN GET ON IT TO CHECK IT ALL OVER WHICH HE SAID WOULD BE SUNDAY!

MORE GOOD ADVICE - MILITARY STYLE

- "AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY." - INSTRUCTION PRINTED ON US ROCKET LAUNCHER

- "CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52S IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND." - USAF

- "WHEN THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU." - INFANTRY JOURNAL

- "IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU JUST BOMBED." - U.S. AIR FORCE MANUAL

- "TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS." - U.S. ARMY ORDNANCE

- "BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID."

- "IF YOU SEE A BOMB TECHNICIAN RUNNING, FOLLOW HIM." - USAF

- "THOUGH I FLY THROUGH THE VALLEY OF DEATH ... I SHALL FEAR NO EVIL FOR I AM AT 80,000 FEET AND CLIMBING." - AT THE ENTRANCE TO THE OLD SR-71 OPERATING BASE KADENA JAPAN

- "YOU'VE NEVER BEEN LOST UNTIL YOU'VE BEEN LOST AT MACH 3." - PAUL F. CRICKMORE (TEST PILOT)

- "THE ONLY TIME YOU HAVE TOO MUCH FUEL IS WHEN YOU'RE ON FIRE."

- "BLUE WATER NAVY TRUISM: THERE ARE MORE PLANES IN THE OCEAN THAN SUBMARINES IN THE SKY." --FROM AN OLD CARRIER SAILOR

- "IF THE WINGS ARE TRAVELING FASTER THAN THE FUSELAGE, IT'S PROBABLY A HELICOPTER -- AND THEREFORE, UNSAFE."

- "WHEN ONE ENGINE FAILS ON A TWIN-ENGINE AIRPLANE YOU ALWAYS HAVE ENOUGH POWER LEFT TO GET YOU TO THE SCENE OF THE CRASH."

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

HOWARD

 

 

 

 

DAILY CHRONICLE #22 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 22 VOL 9

APRIL 22^ND 2008

WEATHER; WARM, HIGH HUMIDITY, 53/87 DEGREES

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; THE UNDERTAKERS NAME WAS “DIGGBY O’DELL” HIS PARTING REMARKS WERE “I’LL BE THE LAST ONE TO LET YOU DOWN” AND “I GUESS I’LL BE, SHOVELING OFF!”

POP QUIZ; IN THE MOVIE “FLYING TIGERS” WHO PLAYED THE HOT SHOT SELF CENTERED PILOT?

GLENDA TOOK ME TO R&D THIS MORNING TO GET THE FAN MOTOR FOR THE ACCLAIM, THE FIRST ONE WAS FOR A 4 CYLINDER AND WE HAD TO TAKE IT BACK! THE BLACK MAN WHO GOT IT FOR ME SAID THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANY 6 CYLINDER ACCLAIMS IN THE YARD! ANOTHER YARD MAN SAID TO HIM COME ON WE’LL CHECK AGAIN AND IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES THEY WERE BACK WITH ONE FOR A 6 CYLINDER, THEY HOOKED IT UP TO A BATTERY AND IT RAN REAL QUIET!

I PUT IT IN AND COULDN’T GET IT TO WORK SO I STARTED LOOKING FOR THE REASON, I FOUND IT, KELLY HAD CUT THE PLUG TO THE BLOWER MOTOR OFF THE LOOM AND HOOKED IT DIRECT SO MOM COULD GET HOME THE OTHER DAY!  I CALLED HIM AND REMINDED HIM ABOUT THE WIRES AND HE SAID HE WAS BRINGING HOME THE THINGS TO FIX IT WITH! HE GOT IT ALL HOOKED UP AND IT COMES ON BUT BLOWS REAL SLOW! I HAVE TO GO TO THE VA IN BONHAM IN THE MORNING AND THEN PICK UP THE INTREPID ON THE WAY HOME SO HE’LL CHECK IT TOMORROW WHEN HE GETS HOME!

MORE GOODIES FROM ARCAMAX

 

OFFICER FITNESS REPORTS

THE BRITISH MILITARY WRITES OFR'S (OFFICER FITNESS REPORTS). THE FORM USED FOR ROYAL NAVY AND MARINES FITNESS REPORTS IS THE S206. THE FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL EXCERPTS TAKEN FROM PEOPLE'S "206'S"....

- HIS MEN WOULD FOLLOW HIM ANYWHERE, BUT ONLY OUT OF CURIOSITY.

- I WOULD NOT BREED FROM THIS OFFICER.

- THIS OFFICER IS REALLY NOT SO MUCH OF A HAS-BEEN, BUT MORE OF A DEFINITELY WON'T-BE.

- WHEN SHE OPENS HER MOUTH, IT SEEMS THAT THIS IS ONLY TO CHANGE WHICHEVER FOOT WAS PREVIOUSLY IN THERE.

- HE HAS CARRIED OUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF HIS DUTIES TO HIS ENTIRE SATISFACTION.

- HE WOULD BE OUT OF HIS DEPTH IN A CAR PARK PUDDLE.

- TECHNICALLY SOUND, BUT SOCIALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

- THIS OFFICER REMINDS ME VERY MUCH OF A GYROSCOPE - ALWAYS SPINNING AROUND AT A FRANTIC PACE, BUT NOT REALLY GOING ANYWHERE.

- THIS YOUNG LADY HAS DELUSIONS OF ADEQUACY.

- WHEN HE JOINED MY SHIP, THIS OFFICER WAS SOMETHING OF A GRANNY; SINCE THEN HE HAS AGED CONSIDERABLY.

- SINCE MY LAST REPORT HE HAS REACHED ROCK BOTTOM, AND HAS STARTED TO DIG.

- SHE SETS LOW PERSONAL STANDARDS AND THEN CONSISTENTLY FAILS TO ACHIEVE THEM.

- HE HAS THE WISDOM OF YOUTH, AND THE ENERGY OF OLD AGE.

- THIS OFFICER SHOULD GO FAR - AND THE SOONER HE STARTS, THE BETTER.

- IN MY OPINION THIS PILOT SHOULD NOT BE AUTHORIZED TO FLY BELOW 250 FEET.

- THE ONLY SHIP I WOULD RECOMMEND THIS MAN FOR IS CITIZENSHIP.

- WORKS WELL WHEN UNDER CONSTANT SUPERVISION AND CORNERED LIKE A RAT IN A TRAP

- THIS MAN IS DEPRIVING A VILLAGE SOMEWHERE OF AN IDIOT.

- ONLY OCCASIONALLY WETS HIMSELF UNDER PRESSURE.

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD

 

DAILY CHRONICLE # 21 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 21 VOL 9

APRIL 21^ST 2008

WEATHER; CLOUDY, HIGH HUMIDITY 62/88 DEGREES

WE’LL BE TURNING THE A/C ON IN THE NEXT DAY OR TWO IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE WARM/HOT FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS!

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ: “CHARLIE SHEEN IS MARTIN SHEENS SON”

POP QUIZ; IN THE OLD RADIO SHOW “THE LIFE OF RILEY” WHAT WAS THE UNDERTAKERS NAME ON THE SHOW AND WHAY WHERE HIS DEPARTING REMARK?

LIKE I SAID LAST WEEK, “IT NEVER RAINS BUT IT POURS”! MOM WENT TO TOWN THIS MORNING AND I GOT A CALL THAT THE CAR (THE ACCLAIM) HAD OVER HEATED AND SHE WAS AT THE DENISON KROGERS! THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO SO I HAD HER CALL KELLY WHICH SHE DID AND HE WAS GOING TO CHECK IT OUT WHEN HE GOT OFF AT 3:30! IN THE MEAN TIME SHANNON PICKED HER UP AND THEY WENT TO LUNCH! KELLY GOT THERE AND FOUND THE ROLL PIN THAT GOES THROUGH TO FAN MOTOR SHAFT TO DRIVE THE FAN BLADE HAD SHEARED OFF AND THE BLADE WASN’T TURNING! HE MADE EMERGANCY REPAIRS AND MOM MADE IT HOME! I CALLED R&D AND THEY HAVE WHAT I NEED SO GLENDA’S GOING TO TAKE ME UP THERE TO GET IT IN THE MORNING!

THEN KELLY WENT TO HIS BUDDY AND GOT THE TWO WHEEL DOLLY AND TOOK THE INTREPIUD TO CBS MUFFLER! I CALLED THEM AND MADE THE ARRANGEMENTS FOR THEM TO PUT THE EXHAUST SYSTEM BACK ON THE CAR AND WHERE TO LEAVE THE KEY, THEY CLOSED AT 5:30 AND KELLY DIDN’T GET THE CAR LOADED TILL AFTER 6:00! WE SEND A LOT OF BUSINESS TO CBS, THEY’RE TWO REAL NICE GUYS AND WE DO ALL WE CAN TO HELP THEM! WE’LL GO PICK THE CAR UP TOMORROW AFTER I GET THE ACCLAIM BACK ON THE ROAD! IT’S NOT ANYTHING BIG WITH THE ACCLAIM JUST LITTLE THINGS LIKE THE FAN MOTOR, I KNEW IT WASN’T DOING A GOOD JOB A YEAR AGO BUT FORGOT TIL NOW, IT WOBBLED REAL BAD!

I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’D DO WITHOUT KELLY HE NEVER TURNS US DOWN NO MATTER WHAT WE ASK OF HIM! MAYBE HE DOESN’T GET RIGHT TO IT BUT HE WILL GET IT DONE! HE WORKS FOR MIKE OUT AT “TEREX” PUTTING ALL THE WIRING LOOMS AND INSTRUMENTS IN THE DIGGERS THEY BUILD, SOME OF THEM GO  UNDERGROUND AND WHEN THE JOB IS DONE THEY’RE LEFT THERE ! MIKE WISHES HE HAD FIVE MORE LIKE HIM INSTEAD OF THE DUNDERHEADS HE HAS TO PUT UP WITH! MIKE SAYS,”NO MATTER WHAT I ASK KELLY TO DO HE GETS IT DONE IN LESS THAN HALF THE TIME THE OTHERS SPEND DOING THE SAME JOB!” HE HAS VERY GOOD WORK ETHICS. TIM AND KELLY WORK GOOD TOGETHER, TIM’S THE PLANNER AND KELLY’S THE ONE WHO GETS THE PLAN DONE BUT, THEY BOTH WILL GET DOWN AND DIRTY TO GET A JOB COMPLETED QUICKLY!

 

THE ENGINEER'S SONG

(SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES)

COME AND LISTEN TO A STORY BOUT A MAN NAMED JED,
A POOR COLLEGE KID BARELY KEPT HIS FAMILY FED,
BUT THEN ONE DAY HE WAS TALKING TO A RECRUITER,
HE SAID "THEY'LL PAY YA BIG BUCKS IF YA WORK ON A COMPUTER",
UNIX THAT IS ... HARD DRIVES ... WORKSTATIONS;

WELL THE FIRST THING YA KNOW OL' JED'S AN ENGINEER,
THE KINFOLK SAID "JED MOVE AWAY FROM HERE",
THEY SAID "ARIZONA IS THE PLACE YA OUGHTA BE",
SO HE BOUGHT SOME DONUTS AND MOVED TO AHWATUKEE,
INTEL THAT IS ... DRY HEAT ... NO AMUSEMENT PARKS;

ON HIS FIRST DAY AT WORK THEY STUCK HIM IN A CUBE,
FED HIM MORE DONUTS AND SAT HIM AT A TUBE,
THEY SAID "YOUR PROJECT'S LATE BUT WE KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO,
INSTEAD OF 40 HOURS, WE'LL WORK YOU FIFTY-TWO!"
OT THAT IS ... UNPAID ... MANDATORY

THE WEEKS ROLLED BY AND THINGS WERE LOOKING BAD,
SOME SCHEDULES SLIPPED AND SOME MANAGERS WERE MAD,
THEY CALLED ANOTHER MEETING AND DECIDED ON A FIX,
THE ANSWER WAS SIMPLE, "WE'LL WORK HIM SIXTY-SIX"
TIRED THAT IS ... STRESSED OUT ... NO SOCIAL LIFE

MONTHS TURNED INTO YEARS AND HIS HAIR WAS TURNING GRAY,
JED WORKED HARD WHILE HIS LIFE SLIPPED AWAY,
WAITING TO RETIRE WHEN HE TURNED SIXTY-FOUR,
INSTEAD HE GOT A CALL AND THEY ESCORTED HIM OUT THE DOOR,
LAID-OFF THAT IS ... DEBRIEFED ... UNEMPLOYED

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE

HOWARD

 

 

 

 

DAILY CHRONICLE # 20 VOL 9

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 20 VOL 9

APRIL 20^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 55/79 DEGREES

ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; PETER GRAVES WAS THE REAL NAME OF THE LEAD ACTOR IN “MISSION IMPOSSIBLE” AND JAMES “JIM” ARNESS OF “GUNSMOKE” IS HIS BROTHER!

POP QUIZ; IN THE HIT TV SERIES “TWO AND A HALF MEN” CHARLIE SHEEN PLAYS THE MAIN CHARACTER   WHAT RELATION IS HE TO  MARTIN  SHEEN OF “WEST WING”?

WE GOT THE INTREPID RUNNING TODAY AND STILL HAVE A FEW THING TO STRAIGHTEN OUT LIKE HAVING THE EXHAUST PUT UP IN PLACE AND WELD THE JOINTS THAT KELLY HAD TO CUT, IT GOES TO CBS TOMORROW FOR THIS! WHEN THIS IS DONE IT SHOULD SOLVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS, THESE NEW ENGINES DEPEND ON EXHAUST BACK PRESSURE AND WITH OPEN EXHAUST IT HAS NONE, THE TRANSMISSION TRIES TO DOWN SHIFT BUT THE COMPUTER DOESN’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON SO IT CAN’T TELL THE TRANSMISSION WHAT TO DO. THE O2 SENSORS ARE IN OPEN EXHAUST SO THEY CAN’T TELL THE COMPUTER TO GIVE MORE FUEL OR CUT BACK ON THE FUEL. UNTIL WE GET THE EXHAUST TIGHTENED UP THE CAR’S NOT GOING TO RUN RIGHT!

IT SURE RUNS GOOD, I TOOK IT DOWN OUR ROAD AND TURND AROUND AND CAME BACK, THE TRANSMISSION SHIFTS INTO ALL GEARS, ROUGH BUT IT DID IT SO WE LUCKED OUT! NOW WE CAN WORK ON THE COSMETICS AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD!

I MAY GET A HOLD OF KELLY AND SEE IF HE CAN GET THE TWO WHEEL DOLLY AND WE’LL TAKE IT TO CBS ON THAT! I’M NOT SURE ABOUT DRIVING IT 10 MILES WITH OPEN EXHAUST! I’D SURE HATE TO SCREW SOMETHING UP AT THIS POINT!

KERRY STARTED ON HIS 3 WEEKS OFF THIS WEEKEND, WE DON’T KNOW IF THEY’RE GOING TO COME UP FOR A VISIT OR NOT? I KNOW THEY HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO FINISH IN FLORIDA SO I IMAGINE THAT’S WHERE THEY’LL BE GOING!

OF COURSE TIM WAS HERE THE LAST TWO WEEKENDS AND I’M SURE ELYSE HAS A LOT OF “HONEY DOES” FOR HIM. I WISH I COULD GO DOWN AND HELP HIM BUT, THE OLE’BOD JUST WON’T RESPOND LIKE IT USED TO! I KNOW HE’S GLAD TO SEE THE INTREPID DONE, WE BOUGHT IT FROM HIM ABOUT 6-8 MONTH AGO AND HAVE WAITED TO GET THE TRANSMISSION DONE SO WE CAN DRIVE IT!

SHANNON AND KONNER WERE HERE SATURDAY FOR A WHILE AND VISITED WITH MOM, I WAS WITH TIM AND KELLY WHILE THEY WORKED ON THE CAR!

GARY AND CHARLEEN LATINIS WERE HERE AFTER 5:00 MASS SATURDAY AND WE HAD A NICE VISIT! HE’S NOT SURE WHEN HE’S GOING BACK OUT ON THE ROAD, HE SAID IT WON’T BE FOR ATLEAST TWO WEEKS. DONICA PATRICK WON HER FIRST IRL RACE  YESTERDAY! THE LAST TIME GARY AND I HAD TALKED ABOUT WHY I’M NOT WATCHING NASCAR ANYMORE DONICA’S NAME CAME UP AND HE SAID SHE NEVER WINS, SHE JUST GETS IN THE WAY OF THE MEN (GUESS WHAT HE IS?) AND SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO COMPETE I’VE NEVER HEARD ONE OF THE MEN SHE COMPETES AGAINST SAY THAT, THEY ALL THINK SHE’S A GREAT COMPETITOR!

NOW THAT SHE’S HAD A TASTE OF WINNING SHE’LL GO ON AND WIN MORE RACES AND IT WOULDN’T SURPRISE ME TO SEE CHIP GANASSI RACING PICK HER TO DRIVE ONE OF THEIR DODGES IN NASCAR!

HAVEN’T HEARD FROM MIKE OR CINDY SO, I GUESS THEY’RE DOING OK, I’M SURE IF ANYTHING IMPORTANT HAPPENED THEY’D CONTACT US!

COLLEEN AND DICK ARE DOING GREAT, THEY’RE A GOOD MATCH! COLLEEN REALLY LOVES HER NEW JOB AND FROM THE WAY THEY’RE TREATING HER THEY LIKE HER JUST AS MUCH! DICK SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME MOWING THE RUNWAY AND WORKING ON SOME OF HIS PROJECTS! I’M GOING TO TRY AND SPEND MORE TIME VISITING WITH HIM, HE’S REALLY INTERESTING TO TALK TO, OF COURSE WE HAVE A COMMON INTEREST, COLLEEN!

 

 

COMMON TOOL EXPLAINED

TO THE UNINITIATED, THE WORKSHOP CAN BE AN INTIMIDATING PLACE, FULL OF TOOLS YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH. TO HELP, HERE'S A HELPFUL EXPLANATION OF COMMON TOOLS AND THEIR USES.

DRILL PRESS: A TALL UPRIGHT MACHINE USEFUL FOR SUDDENLY SNATCHING FLAT METAL BAR STOCK OUT OF YOUR HANDS SO THAT IT SMACKS YOU IN THE CHEST AND FLINGS YOUR BEER ACROSS THE ROOM, DENTING THE FRESHLY-PAINTED VERTICAL STABILIZER WHICH YOU HAD CAREFULLY SET IN THE CORNER WHERE NOTHING COULD GET TO IT.

WIRE WHEEL: CLEANS PAINT OFF BOLTS AND THEN THROWS THEM SOMEWHERE UNDER THE WORKBENCH WITH THE SPEED OF LIGHT . ALSO REMOVES FINGERPRINTS AND HARD-EARNED CLECO CALLUSES FROM FINGERS IN ABOUT THE TIME IT TAKES YOU TO SAY, "OH RATS!"

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: NORMALLY USED FOR SPINNING POP RIVETS IN THEIR HOLES UNTIL YOU DIE OF OLD AGE.

SKILL SAW: A PORTABLE CUTTING TOOL USED TO MAKE STUDS TOO SHORT.

PLIERS: USED TO ROUND OFF BOLT HEADS. SOMETIMES USED IN THE CREATION OF BLOOD-BLISTERS.

BELT SANDER: AN ELECTRIC SANDING TOOL COMMONLY USED TO CONVERT MINOR TOUCH-UP JOBS INTO MAJOR REFINISHING JOBS.

HACKSAW: ONE OF A FAMILY OF CUTTING TOOLS BUILT ON THE OUIJA BOARD PRINCIPLE. IT TRANSFORMS HUMAN ENERGY INTO A CROOKED, UNPREDICTABLE MOTION, AND THE MORE YOU ATTEMPT TO INFLUENCE ITS COURSE, THE MORE DISMAL YOUR FUTURE BECOMES.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: SEE HACKSAW.

VISE-GRIPS: GENERALLY USED AFTER PLIERS TO COMPLETELY ROUND OFF BOLT HEADS. IF NOTHING ELSE IS AVAILABLE, THEY CAN ALSO BE USED TO TRANSFER INTENSE WELDING HEAT TO THE PALM OF YOUR HAND.

WELDING GLOVES: HEAVY DUTY LEATHER GLOVES USED TO PROLONG THE CONDUCTION OF INTENSE WELDING HEAT TO THE PALM OF YOUR HAND.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: USED ALMOST ENTIRELY FOR LIGHTING VARIOUS FLAMMABLE OBJECTS IN YOUR SHOP ON FIRE. ALSO HANDY FOR IGNITING THE GREASE INSIDE THE WHEEL HUB YOU WANT THE BEARING RACE OUT OF.

TABLE SAW: A LARGE STATIONARY POWER TOOL COMMONLY USED TO LAUNCH WOOD PROJECTILES FOR TESTING WALL INTEGRITY.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: USED FOR LOWERING AN AUTOMOBILE TO THE GROUND AFTER YOU HAVE INSTALLED YOUR NEW BRAKE SHOES, TRAPPING THE JACK HANDLE FIRMLY UNDER THE BUM PER.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2X4: USED FOR LEVERING AN AUTOMOBILE UPWARD OFF OF A TRAPPED HYDRAULIC JACK HANDLE.

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD