HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 1 VOL 14
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 1ST 2008
WEATHER; WARM, LOW HUMIDITY, 70/91 DEGREES
I STAYED UP TO WATCH THE LATE REPORT ON GUSTAV! IT’S STILL A CAT-3 AND 226 MILES FROM NEW ORLEANS! THE PROJECTED SURGE COULD BE 15-18 FEET! UNLIKE KATRENA THE BAD PART OF THE WINDS AND RAIN ARE COMING IN FROM THE EAST SIDE OF THE STORM AND UNLIKE KATRENA IT IS GOING TO PRODUCE 2-3 FEET OF RAIN AND WINDS OF A CAT 1, 74+ MPH! THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE LEVEES, THE FACT THAT ALL THE WATER IS COMING FROM A DIFFERENT DIRECTION THAN KATRENA WHICH CAME IN OFF LAKE PONCHATRAIN WHICH IS PRETTY SHALLOW THIS STORM IS COMING OFF THE GULF WHICH IS A LOT DEEPER AND THE SURGE WILL BE WORSE!
WE THOUGHT WE FOUND THE PROBLEM WITH THE INTREPID TODAY, THERE WERE TWO WIRES NOT CONNECTED TO THE POSITIVE BATTERY POST CLAMP! WE HOOKED THEM UP WHERE THAY GO! WE HAD A POWER OUTAGE THIS EVENING SO MOM AND I TOOK THE INTREPID AND WENT TO DINNER AT BRAUMS IN DENISON, IT RAN FINE TILL WE GOT ON THE DAM AND IT STARTED RUNNING LIKE CRAP! IF ONLY THE RED CHECK ENGINE LIGHT WOULD COME ON AGAIN AND MAKE IT SMOOTH OUT WE COULD HOOK UP THE DRB II WHILE WERE GOING DOWN THE ROAD AND FIND THE PROBLEM BUT, IT STILL STAYS OFF! IF WE DON’T FIND ANYTHING TODAY I’M GOING TO TAKE IT TO THE CHRYSLER DEALER IN DURANT, OK. TUESDAY AND SEE WHAT THEY SAY!
COLLEGE EXAM PLEA
O LORD, HEAR MY ANXIOUS PLEA
CALCULUS IS KILLING ME
I KNOW NOT OF 'DX' OR 'DY'
AND PROBABLY WON'T UNTIL THE DAY I DIE.
PLEASE, LORD, HELP ME IN THIS HOUR
AS I TAKE MY CASE TO THE HIGHEST POWER.
I CARE NOT FOR FAME OR LOOT
JUST HELP ME FIND ONE SQUARE ROOT.
AND LORD, PLEASE LET ME SEE
ONE PASSING MARK IN ORGANIC CHEMISTRY.
OH SUCH A THING I CONSTANTLY DREAD
I'D JUST AS SOON JOIN THE MARINES INSTEAD.
LORD, PLEASE GIVE ME A SIGN
THAT YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING ALL THE TIME.
PLEASE LEAD ME OUT OF THIS CONSTANT COMA
AND GIVE ME A SHOT AT MY DIPLOMA.
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE SAID THIS PRAYER OR ONE JUST LIKE IT?
THAT’S “30 FOR THIS ISSUE
HOWARD
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