HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 22 VOL 6
JANUARY 25TH 2008
WEATHER; COLD AGAIN, LOW HUMIDITY, 17/36 DEGREES
ANOTHER SLOW DAY, WE NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE! OH YEAH; I WENT OUT AND CHECKED THE CAR OVER IN PREPERATION FOR THE BAD WEATHER WERE SUPPOSED TO GET THURSDAY NIGHT INTO FRIDAY! ONE OF THESE DAYS I’LL EITHER BUILD OR GET BUILT A CARPORT FOR THE TWO CARS! PARKING THEM OUT IN THE OPEN JUST ISN’T GOOD BUT, WE’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 40 YEARS! HMMM; NO WONDER THE PAINT IS CHIPPING OFF THE 91 ACCLAIM!
SHANNON’S DAUGHTER KAITLIN CAME BACK FROM COLORADO TODAY! WE DON’T HAVE THE COMPLETE STORY BUT THE GUY SHE MARRIED STARTED USING DRUGS AGAIN AND BECAME A REAL BUTT HEAD FROM THE LITTLE INFORMATION WE GOT! OF COURSE WE’RE ONLY GETTING ONE SIDE OF IT. WE’LL PROBANLY SEE KAITLIN THIS WEEKEND AND GET MORE INFORMATION!
WE HIRED THIS GUY TO BUILD THE LAUNDRY ROOM ONTO THE HOUSE AND WE WERE GIVEN THE IMPRESSION HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING! AFTER HE GOT STARTED I REALIZED HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO READ A TAPE MEASURE OR WHAT A CARPENTERS SQUARE WAS FOR BUT, THEY NEEDED THE MONEY SO WE PAID OFF THEIR CELL PHONE BILLS AND GAVE HIM MONEY FOR GAS AND FOOD! HE SPENT THREE MONTHE DOING A TWO WEEKEND JOB! TIM AND KELLY HAD TO SQUARE THE ROOM UP THE BEST THEY COULD AND PUT THE ROOF ON IT! WHEN MOM AND TIM PUT THE PANELING ON THE WALLS AND THE CEILING PIECES UP THEY HAD TO MEASURE AND ANGLE CUT EVERY PIECE, THERE ISN’T A SQUARE CORNER IN THE ROOM UNLESS THEY MADE IT SQUARE WITH SHIMS! NOW I’LL TET YOU HAVE A COUPLE OF “DOG’ JOKES;
THIS MAD WANTED TO SELL HIS HUNTING DOG SO HE RAN AN AD IN THE LOCAL PAPER “FOR SALE, THE BEST DUCK RETRIEVING DOG IN 4 COUNTIES!” 15 PEOPLE CAME TO LOOK AT THE DOG AND WATCH THE DEMONSTRATION! THE MAN WENT OUT TO HIS DUCK BLIND AND WAITED FOR SOME DUCKS TO FLY OVER, WHEN THREE DUCKS FLEW OVER THE MAN SHOT THE LAST ONE AND WHEN IT HIT THE WATER THE DOG TOOK OFF RUNNING ON TOP OF THE WATER, GRABBED THE DUCK IN HIS MOUTH AND RAN BACK ACROSS THE TOP OF THE WATER AND DROPPED THE DUCK AT THE MANS FEET! EVERYONE STARTED TO LAUGH AND ASKED HOW MUCH HE WANTED FOR IT? HE SAID $250.00! 14 PEOPLE WALKED AWAY SHAKING THEIR HEADS! WHAT’S THE MATTER, DON’T YOU PEOPLE KNOW A GOOD RETRIEVER WHEN YOU SEE ONE SAID THE MAN? THE ONE MAN WHO STAYED SHOOK HIS HEAD AND SAID JOE THAT DUMB DOG CAN’T EVEN SWIM!
FARMER JOHN ENTERED HIS COON HUNTIN’ DOG IN THE COUNTY FAIR CONTEST! WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR HIM TO DEMONSTRATE THE DOG HE AND THE DOG HEADED DOWN A TRAIL HE KNEW THE COONS USED! THE JUDGES WERE RIGHT BEHIND THEM! THE RULES WERE; YOU HAD TO TREE AND CAPTURE/KILL THREE COONS IN A CERTAIN TIME!
THEY CAME TO A TREE THAT A COON HAD CLIMBED UP IN AND FARMER JOHN POINTED TO THE COON UP IN THE TREE, THE DOG WENT OVER AND SHOOK THE TREE TILL THE COON FELL TO THE GROUND THEN HE POUNCED ON THE COON AND RAPED IT TILL IT WAS DEAD!
THIS TOOK PLACE ONE MORE TIME, ON THE THIRD TIME TO COON HELD ON REAL TIGHT AND THE DOG COULDN’T SHAKE IT LOSE SO FARMER JOHN CLIMBED UP THE TREE AND INCHED HIS WAY OUT ON THE BRANCH WHERE THE COON WAS HANGING ON! THE BRANCH BROKE AND FARMER JOHN HEADED FOR THE GROUND YELLING; “HOLD OLE’ BLUE, HOLD OLE’ BLUE!
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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