HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 10 VOL 7
FEBURARY 10TH 2008
WEATHER; NICE, LOW HUMIDITY, 34/72 DEGREES
GAS A LITTLE UNSTEADY, PRICES ARE DIFFERENT ALL OVER THE AREA BUT WE CAN HOPE THEY WILL LEVEL OUT AGAIN!
WE FINALLY GOT TO WORK ON THE CEILING FAN FOR THE DECK, PRETTY WELL GOT IT POSITIONED, THE MOTOR IS HANGING ON THE MOUNT AND TOMORROW WE’LL PUT IT ALL TOGETHER AND WIRE IT IN!
KELLY SPENT MOST OF THE DAY WORKING ON HIS DAUGHER’S CAR TRYING TO STOP IT FROM OVERHEATING! REMOVED AND CHECKED THE WATER PUMP, IT WAS OK, SETTLED ON THE THERMOSTAT, WHEN PUT IN A PAN OF BOILING WATER IT OPENED REAL SLOW WHICH IS OK BUT IT DIDN’T FULLY OPEN TILL THE THERMOMETER READ ALMOST 200 DEGREES AND THAT WASN’T OK. IT WAS A 192 DEGREE THERMOSTAT AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN WIDE OPEN AT 192! WHEN THEY LEFT KELLY CAUTIONED THEM TO WATCH THE GAUGE AND IF IT STARTED TO OVERHEAT TO STOP AND LET IT COOL OFF AND THEN ADD WATER!
COMING HOME LAST NIGHT FROM DINNER WITH TIM AND ELYSE THE “CHECK ENGINE” LIGHT CAME ON AGAIN IN THE ‘91 ACCLAIM! I DIDN’T STOP BUT CHECKED ALL MY GAUGES AND EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL SO I WENT AHEAD AND DROVE HOME WATCHING THEM! I WENT OUT THIS MORNING AND DID THE KEY CHECK FOR CODES, THEY CAME UP 12 & 22, I CAME IN THE HOUSE, GOT THE BOOK OUT AND READ WHAT 12 & 22 REPRESENTED? THEY BOTH INDICATED SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE BATTERY HOOK UP SO I WENT OUT AND CHECKED THE CABLES TO BE SURE THEY WERE TIGHT! THE POSITIVE CABLE WAS BUT THE BOLTS THAT HOLD THE NEGATIVE CABLE TO THE END WERE LOSE, THIS COULD CAUSE LOW AND UNSTEADY VOLTAGE TO THE TEMPERATURE SENSOR WHICH IS WHAT THE #22 CODE SAID! THEY’RE TIGHT NOW AND THE “CHECK ENGINE” LIGHT DOESN’T COME ON!
JOKE
THIS MAN DIED AND WHEN HE GOT TO THE PEARLY GATES SAINT PETER TOLD HIM HE WAS GOING TO HAVE A CHOICE BETWEEN HEAVEN OR HELL AND WALKED HIM AROUND HEAVEN WHERE THE MAN SAW ANGLES FLYING AROUND FROM CLOUD TO CLOUD PLAYING HARPS AND SINGING PRAISES TO GOD! THIS SURE WOULD BE A PEACEFUL PLACE TO SPEND ETERNITY SAID THE MAN BUT YOU SAID I WOULD HAVE A CHOICE SO LETS SEE WHAT HELL HAS TO OFFER?
SAINT PETER TOOK HIM DOWN TO THE CAVES OF HELL AND LET HIM SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON! SEX ORGYS, NAKED DANCING GIRLS, POKER GAMES, AND MANY OTHER THINGS THE MAN USED TO DREAM ABOUT! OK! HE SAID, I’LL STAY HERE IN HELL AND SAINT PETER MADE HIM SIGN AWAY HIS CHANCE TO RETURN TO HEAVEN THEN LEAD HIM OVER TO A POKER TABLE AND AFTER SETTING HIM DOWN LEFT BUT, STOOD BY THE DOOR! IMMIDATELY A LUSCIOUS BLOND CAME OVER AND SAT ON THE MANS LAP AND STARTED TO FONDEL HIS PRIVATE PARTS! THE MAN PICKED UP A BOTTLE THAT WAS SETTING ON THE TABLE AND TIPPED IT UP TO TAKE A DRINK BUT NOTHING CAME OUT, HE LOOKED AT THE BOTTOM AND THERE WAS A BIG HOLE IN IT! HE LOOKED AROUND FOR SAINT PETER AND WHEN HE SPYED HIM STANDING IN THE DOOR HE MOUTHED; “WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE?” SAINT PETER MOUTHED BACK;”THAT’S THE HELL OF IT, THE BOTTLE HAS A HOLE IN IT BUT, THE BLOND DOESN’T!”
OK, HERE’S PART TWO ABOUT MY ACCIDENT ON JULY 5TH 1950!
WE MADE IT TO ENCINITAS, ABOUT 40 MILES FROM SAN DIEGO, THE ROAD MADE A SLIGHT TURN TO THE LEFT AND I KEPT GOING STRAIGHT INTO A 3 FT IN DIAMETER EUCALIPTUS TREE, FOR 10 MILES BACK FROM THE POINT OF IMPACT THERE WAS NOTHING BIGGER THAN 1” TO 2” SAPPLINGS!
THE TREE CAME IN JUST BEHIND THE LEFT HEAD LIGHT BUT DIDN’T BREAK IT, CAME DOWN THE FENDER INTO THE DOOR WHERE EVIDENTLY MY HEAD WAS LAYING AGAINST THE WINDOW BECAUSE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE CAR I WAS SOUND ASLEEP!
THERE WAS A MOTEL ACROSS THE HIGHWAY AND I WAS TOLD THE LADY IN THERE CALLED THE HIGHWAY PATROL! THE FIRST THING THEY EVIDENTLY DID WAS PUT THE TOP DOWN SO THEY COULD GET TO EVERYONE IN THE CAR! THEY HELPED EVERYONE OUT EXCEPT ME! THEY HAD TO CHASE LOU WATT DOWN ALONG THE TRAIN TRACKS, WHEN THEY GOT HIM OUT OF THE CAR THEY SAT HIM ON THE EMBANKMENT THAT WAS THE TRAIN TRACKS FOR THE SAN DIEGO STREAMLINER! IT SO HAPPENED THERE WAS A TRAIN COMING DOWN THE TRACKS HEADED FOR SAN DIEGO! THE TRACKS MADE A JOG ABOUT ¼ MILE FROM WHERE LOU WAS SETTING AND WHEN HE LOOKED THAT WAY AND SAW THE TRAINS HEAD LIGHT HE THOUGHT IT WAS HEADING RIGHT FOR HIM SO HE TOOK OFF RUNNING! (I MIGHT ADD, ON A BROKEN ANKLE!)
LUCKY FOR ME THE LADY FROM THE MOTEL CAME OVER TO SEE HOW EVERYONE WAS, SHE ASKED THE PATROLMEN WHY I WAS STILL SETTING IN THE CAR AND ONE OF THEM SAID I WAS ALREADY DEAD, (I WAS TOLD LATER THAT I WAS BLEEDING FROM THE EYES, NOSE, EARS AND MOUTH WHICH IS WHY THEY ASSUMED I WAS DEAD) AND THE CORONOR WOULD GET ME OUT WHEN HE GOT THERE! NO HE’S NOT, HE JUST MOVED AND GROANED AND SHE INSISTED THEY GET ME OUT OF THE CAR AND TO THE HOSPITAL, THE OTHER PASSENGERS WEREN’T HURT AS BAD AS I WAS SO THEY DID WHAT SHE ASKED! LOU AND HIS GIRL FRIENDS FEET ENDED UP JAMMED UNDER THE FRONT SEAT, LOU’S ANKLE WAS BROKEN BUT HIS GIRL FRIEND WAS JUST BRUISED, JODY WAS JAMMED UP UNDER THE DASH BOARD BETWEEN THE SEAT AND THE HEATER, SHE HAD A COUPLE OF CUTS BUT NOTHING SERIOUS!
FROM MY DRIVERS LICENSE THEY GOT MY HOME ADDRESS AND THEN THE PHONE NUMBER! THEN TRACED MY BROTHER JERRY WHO WAS A LOS ANGELES POLICEMAN! WHEN THEY SENT A POLICEMAN TO MY FOLKS HOUSE, HE WENT NEXT DOOR TO THE DOCTOR WHO LIVED THERE AND HE TOLD HIM WE HAD GONE TO OUR BEACH HOUSE IN NEWPORT BEACH! THEN THEY FOUND OUT MY DAD WAS ON THE GRAND JURY IN NEWPORT AND WENT TO THE HOUSE AT 313 EAST 36TH ST.! NOW THIS IS WHERE IT GETS BAD!
THE NEWPORT COP WALKED UP TO THE DOOR AND KNOCKED, MY DAD WENT TO THE DOOR AND HE ASKED IF HE WAS LUTHER MAHONEY AND DID HE HAVE A SON NAMED HOWARD? MY DAD ANSWERED YES, WHY? THE COP SAID, HE HAS BEEN KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT IN ENCINITAS! MY BROTHER HAD TO CATCH MY DAD AND SET HIM IN A CHAIR! JERRY STEPPED OUTSIDE AND TOLD THE OFFICER HE’S DEAL WITH HIM LATER WHICH HE DID THROUGH THE I.I.D DIVISION OF THE NEWPORT POLICE DEPTARTMENT!
MY DAD, JERRY AND MY OLDEST SISTER HENRIETTA GOT READY AND HEADED FOR OCEAN SIDE WHERE THEY TOLD JERRY I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL! JERRY KEPT TELLING MY DAD I WOULDN’T BE IN THE HOSPITAL IF I WERE DEAD I’D BE AT THE CORONOR’S LABORATORY! WHEN THEY GOT TO THE HOSPITAL THEY WERE TOLD I WAS IN ROOM (I DON’T KNOW THE #)! JERRY AND HENRIETTA WENT IN FIRST THEN MY DAD WENT IN! I WAS LYING IN A POOL OF BLOOD AND THE BED WAS SOAKED WITH MY BLOOD! JERRY TRIED TO STOP MY DAD BUT COULDN’T AND HE WENT TO FIND THE DOCTOR IN CHARGE, WHEN HE FOUND HIM HE PICKED HIM UP BY THE THROAT AND SHOVED HIM AGAINST THE WALL LETTING HIM KNOW IT I DIED THERE WOULD BE ANOTHER BURYING FROM THIS PIG STYE OF A HOSPITAL! JERRY TOOK MY DAD OUTSIDE AND COOLED HIM OFF!
HENRIETTA STAYED AND STARTED CLEANING ME UP WITH THE TOWELS AND WATER IN THE ROOM! MY DAD GOT ON THE PHONE AND CALLED SNYDER AMBULANCE IN LOS ANGELS AND ASKED MR. SNYDER IF HE COULD HAVE AN AMBULANCE AT OCEAN SIDE HOSPITAL TO PICK UP HIS SON AND TAKE HIM TO SAINT JOSEPH’S HOSPITAL IN BURBANK! SNYDER SAID YES AND I GOT TO RIDE IN AN AMBULANCE WITH THE SIRENE BLARING FOR 140 MILES AND DON’T REMEMBER IT! MY DAD HAD SOLD SNYDER HIS FIRST AMBULANCE, ONE MY BROTHER-IN-LAW HERB DAVIS AND HE HAD BUILT TO START AN AMBULANCE SERVICE BUT FOUND OUT IT WAS TOO INVOLVED SO THEY SOLD IT TO SNYDER! JERRY AND HENRIETTA MADE ARRANGEMENTS TO GET THE OTHERS HOME!
PART THREE TOMORROW.
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE
HOWARD
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