HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 5 VOL 7
FEBURARY 6TH 2008
WEATHER; NICE, LOW HUMIDITY, 27/58 DEGREES
GOT GAS TODAY AT WAL-MART STILL $2.73
LEFT HERE AT 6:35 AM AND WAS AT DALLAS VA AT 8:15AM. CHECKED IN AT DERMATOLOGY AT 8:30 AND THEY TOOK THE STITCHES OUT AT 8:50 AND I WAS AT TRAVELPAY AT 9:00! ASKED ABOUT HOW MANY MILES THEY PAY ME FOR? WAS TOLD I GET PAID FOR 188 MILES ROUND TRIP! THEY USE A GPS TO FIGURE IT! THEY JUST RAISED THE RATE TO 28.6 CENTS PER MILE! IT’LL BUY 10 GALLONS+ OF GAS AT THE PRESENT PRICE SO AS LONG AS WE GET OVER 20 MPG WE’RE OK! I DON’T GO BACK TILL SOMETIME IN MAY, THEY SEND A LETTER AND CALL BEFORE THE DATE!
WE STOPPED IN McKinney FOR BREAKFAST AND GOT HOME ABOUT 12:30PM! THAT’S NOT BAD, 188 MILE TURN STOP TO HAVE STITCHES REMOVED, STAND IN LINE FOR TRAVEL PAY AND AGAIN TO EAT BREAKFAST AND HOME IN OUR DRIVEWAY IN 6 HOURS!
I WAS TOTALLY EXHAUSTED BY THE TIME I GOT HOME, DRIVING NEVER USED TO MAKE ME TIRED BUT IT SURE DOES LATELY. I KNOW IT’S NOT THE CAR, I LOVE TO DRIVE THE 91 ACCLAIM AND THE SEAT IS VERY COMFORTABLE, I GUESS IT’S JUST OLD AGE! I’LL SEE WHEN WE GET THE INTREPID ON THE ROAD SO I CAN COMPARE THEM! I’VE SAT IN THE INTREPID AND IT FEELS JUST AS COMFORTABLE AS THE ‘91 BUT SETTING STILL AND MOVING ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS, WE’LL SEE!
BOY, THOSE PEOPLE UP NORTH AND EAST OF US SURE ARE GETTING HIT BY REAL BAD WEATHER! WE THANK GOD WE HAVEN’T HAD ANY REAL BAD WEATHER SINCE THE HEAVY RAINS LAST YEAR. OF COURSE OUR WEATHER DOESN’T GET BAD TILL ABOUT THE END OF MARCH INTO APRIL AND, WE ALWAYS GET AN EASTER COLD SNAP WHICH CAN MEAN SNOW AND ICE! MAYBE WE’LL LUCK OUT THIS YEAR! MOM KEEPS US WELL STOCKED UP INCASE WE GET A LONG STRETCH OF BAD WEATHER! AS LONG AS WE DON’T LOSE ELECTRIC POWER WE’RE OK! BOTH KELLY AND WE ARE ALL ELECTRIC AND SO IS THE WATER WELL; IF WE HIT A LONG STRETCH WE’D GO RENT A POWER PLANT JUST TO RUN THE WELL! I’VE GIVEN SOME THOUGHT TO PUTTING IN A 12VOLT SUBMERSABLE PUMP, I’D HAVE TO ALSO USE A SMALL GAS POWERED GENERATOR WHICH I COULD BUILD USING AND ALTERNATOR AND BRIGGS & STRATTEN LAWN MOWER ENGINE TO CHARGE THE BATTERIES OR HOOK UP TO SOME SOLAR PANELS! WE’VE GIVEN THAT A LOT OF THOUGHT LATELY! BUT, WE’LL PROBABLY JUIST GO WITH WHAT WE HAVE BEEN USING AND BE HAPPY IF WE DON’T LOSE POWER!
JOKE
THIS YOUNG GIRL HAS JUST GOTTEN MARRIED AND ONE OF THE OLDER LADIES AT THE RECEPTION WAS A GREEK GRANDMOTHER WHO HAS BEEN MARRIED TO THE SAME MAN FOR ALMOST 75 YEARS! THE YOUNG GIRL APPROACHES HER AND WONDERS HOW IT WAS ON HER WEDDING NIGHT? THE OLD LADY WAS GLAD TO RELATE THIS TO THE YOUNG GIRL; “WHEN POPPA AND I WENT TO THE HOTEL AFTER THE RECEPTION HE GOT ALL DRESSED UP IN FLOWING WHITE GOWNS AND HE LOOKED LIKE A DAM GREEK GOD AS HE RAN AROUND THE ROOM!” “AND NOW” ASK THE GIRL. “IF HE GETS DRESSED UP IN THOSE FLOWING WHITE GOWNS AND RUNS AROUND THE ROOM HE JUST LOOKS LIKE A GOD DAM GREEK!” ANSWERS THE OLDER LADY!
JOKE
THIS COUPLE GOT MARRIED AND HEADED OUT ON THEIR HONEYMOON, OF COURSE THEY STOPPED AT THE FIRST MOTEL THEY CAME TO! HE WENT IN AND REGISTERED FOR A ROOM, THE ONLY THING AVAILABLE HAS TWIN BEDS THAT ARE BOLTED TO THE FLOOR! HE SAYS OK, PAYS AND CARRIES HIS BRIDE OVER THE THRESHHOLD! HE STRIPS DOWN AND JUMPS INTO BED, SHE HAS TO GO IN THE BATHROOM AND MAKE HERSELF PRETTY FOR HIM! WHEN SHE COMES OUT THE LIGHTS ARE DIM AND SHE GETS INTO HER BED, HE SAYS “COME ON OVER HERE.” AS SHE GETS OUT OF HER BED AND STARTS OVER TO WHERE HE IS SHE TRIPS ON A RUG THAT’S BETWEEN THE BEDS, HE JUMPS OUT OF BED AND PICKS HER UP KISSING AND HUGGING HER AND ASKING IF SHE’S HURT? “NO” SHE SAYS AND WHEN THEY GET DONE SHE STARTS BACK TO HER BED AND TRIPS ON THE SAME RUG! HE ROLLS OVER, LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS “WHY IN THE HELL DON’T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU’RE WALKING?” SO STARTS A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP!
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
No comments:
Post a Comment