HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 4 VOL 8
MARCH 4TH 2008
WEATHER; BEAUTIFUL, THE WEATHERMAN WRONG AGAIN, LOW HUMIDITY, 32/69 DEGREES
GAS; I’VE GIVEN UP IT’S TO UNSETTLED TO KEEP TRACK OF. IF YOU NEED IT SWALLOW HARD AND BUY IT!
THE ANSWER TO THE POP QUIZ; DON WILSON!
WHO DOES THIS RELATE TOO?
“FROM OUT OF THE PAST COMES THE THUNDERING HOOF BEATS OF____ _____ _____ ______!”
WOW, I GOT UP THIS MORNING AND LOOKED OUTSIDE EXPECTING TO SEE ABOUT 6-8 INCHES OF SNOW AND LOW AND BEHOLD THE SUN WAS SHINING BRIGHTLY AND NOT A CLOUD IN THE SKY.
I’M GOING TO BUY AN UP TO DATE “FARMERS ALMINAC” AND NOT PAY ANY ATTENTION TO WHAT THE TV WEATHER PEOPLE SAY! LIKE I’VE SAID BEFORE, THEY HAVEN’T BEEN RIGHT BUT MAYBE 3 TIMES IN THE PAST 3-4 YEARS! I CALL AND SEND E-MAILS ABOUT THEY’RE WRONG FORCAST BUT THEY EITHER CAN’T READ OR HAVE BEEN FOOLING PEOPLE FOR SO LONG THEY DON’T BELIEVE ME! I’D LIKE TO FIND OUT WHERE THE BOUGHT THEIR METROLOGISTS DIPLOMAS!
BILL MASON AND I HAVE DONE A LOT OF FUNNY THINGS TOGETHER BUT HERE’S ONE THAT I THINK TAKES THE CAKE;
AFTER ROLLER SKATING WE WOULD STOP OFF AT THE CBS RADIO STUDIOS AND WENT IN TO WATCH THE “STEVE ALLEN” RADIO SHOW. THERE WAS NO CHARGE AND IF YOU GOT THERE BEFORE THE SHOW THEY’WOULD ASK YOU DUMB QUESTIONS AND GIVE OUT PRIZES! KIND OF LIKE THE CARL BAILY SHOW WHERE I WON 4 TICKETS TO THE 4TH OF JULY FIREWORKS SHOW AT THE L.A. COLESIUM BEFORE MY AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT ON THE 5TH OF JULY 1950 AT ENCINITAS!
ANYHOW, THIS ONE FRIDAY NIGHT WE GOT TO THE STUDIO ABOUT 5 MINUTES LATE AND ONE OF THE USHERS ASKED IF WE WOULD LIKE TO GO IN AND SET BEHIND THE CURTAIN AND OF COURSE WE SAID YES, HE SAID WE WOULD HAVE TO BE REAL QUIET WHICH WE WERE. I KEPT WATCHING THE TIME ON THE STUDIO CLOCK AND DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS SET ABOUT 3 MINUTES SLOW AND OF COURSE WE HAD THE TIME TO BE AT HIGHLAND AVE AND HOLLYWOOD BLVD DOWN TO A SCIENCE! IF WE MISSED THE RED CAR INTO THE VALLEY THAT LEFT THERE AT 12 MIDNIGHT EXACTLY IT WOULD BE 2:30AM BEFORE THE NEXT ONE WOULD COME BY!
AFTER THE SHOW STEVE ALLEN CAME OVER TO US AND STARTED ASKING US QUESTIONS, HOW’D YOU LIKE THE SHOW, WHERE ARE YOU GUYS FROM, I SEE YOU’RE ROLLER SKATERS AND ON AND ON! WE TRIED TO BREAK AWAY BUT HE WAS INSISTANT ABOUT WHAT WE DID, WERE WE STILL IN SCHOOL? I FINALLY TOLD HIM WE HAD TO CATCH THE RED CAR TO THE VALLEY OR WE’D BE IN HOLLYWOOD TILL 2:30 AM SO HE SAID THANKS FOR COMING AND BE SURE TO COME AGAIN, SHOOK OUR HANDS AND WE LEFT!
WHEN WE LOOKED AT THE STUDIO CLOCK BEFORE WE LEFT IT SAID 11:20 PM. HOLLYWOOD BLVD.AND HIGHLAND AVE WERE ATLEAST 45-50 MINUTES AWAY EVEN IF WE RAN! WE MADE IT TO HOLLYWOOD AND VINE AND I SAID; WHY DON’T WE SKATE? SO WE SAT DOWN ON THE BUS BENCH AND PUT ON OUR SKATES, BILLS WERE DETACHABLES AND MINE WERE SHOE SKATES AND HEADED DOWN THE SIDE WALK! WE GOT TO THE NEXT CROSS STREET AND THE COP ON THE CORNER CAME OVER WHILE WE WAITED FOR THE SIGNAL TO CHANGE AND TOLD US WE COULDN’T DO THIS! WE EXPLAINED OUR PROBLEM AND HE SAID IT WE SKATED CLOSE TO THE CURB HE’D LET US GO AND WE AGREED AND TOOK OFF! AS WE WENT ALONG THE CURB AT EACH CROSS STREET THE COP DIRECTING TRAFFIC WOULD STOP US AND TELL US WE COULDN’T DO IT AND WE’D TELL THEM THE OTHER COPS SAID IF WE SKSTED CLOSE TO THE CURB IT WOULD BE OK AND THEY LET US GO!
WE GOT TO HIGHLAND AVE. AND HOLLYWOOD BLVD JUST AS THE RED CAR CAME TO A STOP, WE SAT DOWN AFTER WE GOT ON AND TOOK OUR SKATES OFF! OUR PANT LEGS WERE COVERED WITH ALL THE GARBAGE THAT YOU FIND IN THE GUTTER IN A BIG CITY, SOME OF IT DIDN’T LOOK TO GOOD SO WE SAT WAY IN THE BACK NEAR THE BIG OPEN WINDOW IN THE CENTER OF THE REAR WALL!
WHEN THE CONDUCTOR CAME UP TO US AND SMELLED THE GARBAGE HE SAID; “IT’S A GOOD THING THERE’S ONLY 3 OTHER PEOPLE ON THE CAR OR HE WOULD HAVE TO ASK US TO GET OFF AT THE NEXT STOP!” WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN UNIVERSAL CITY AND WE’D STILL BE OVER 5 MILES FROM HOME!
WE MADE IT TO HESBY STREET AND GOT OFF AND WALKED TO MY HOUSE WHERE WE WENT IN THE BACK YARD AND WASHED OUR PANTS LEGS OFF, MY SHOE SKATES AND BILLS CLIP ONS! WE SAT ON THE YARD SWING AND STARTED TO LAUGH, WHAT A NIGHT, 3 HOURS OF ROLLER SKATING, A RADIO SHOW WHERE WE MET THE STAR, SKATING FROM HOLLYWOOD AND VINE TO HOLLYWOOD AND HIGHLAND, ALMOST GETTING PUT OFF THE RED CAR BECAUSE WE SMELLED SO BAD, FINALLY GETTING TO MY HOUSE AND WASHING THE PANTS LEGGS AND OUR SKATES OFF AND NOW WE’RE LAUGHING! ALL OF A SUDDEN THE PATIO LIGHTS GO ON AND MY MOM WANTS TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON? I TRIED TO TELL HER THEN SHE SAID BILL YOU BETTER GO HOME AND HOWARD YOU GET IN HERE AND GET TIO BED, YOU CAN TELL ME TOMORROW!
WHEN I EXPLAINED WHAT ALL WE WENT THROUGH SHE SMILED AND WHEN I WENT OUT TO THE PATIO I HEARD HER CALL MY SISTER HENRIETTA AND SHE STARTED TO LAUGH WHICH I’LL BET HENRIETTA WAS ALSO!
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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