HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 8 VOL 8
MARCH 8TH 2008
WOW, LOOK AT THE 8s WE OUGHT TO GO PLAY 8 ON THE CRAP TABLE OR AT THE HORSE TRACK.
WEATHER; COOL, DRY, LOW HUMIDITY, 19/44 DEGREES
ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; CLAYTON MOORE, HE DIED IN A CAR CRASH
POP QUIZ; WHO DOES THIS IDENTIFY? “WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MAN?”
GAS; $3.02- $3.19 WAL MART IS $3.00 WITH THE CARD
IT WAS PRETTY COLD OUT TODAY SO WE STAYED IN. WE GOT READY AND WENT TO 5:00 MASS, KELLY AND GLENDA WERE THERE TOO ALONG WITH GARY AND CHARLENE LATINIS!
AFTER MASS THE LATINIS AND US WENT TO APPLEBEES FOR DINNER. WE ALWAYS HAVE AND ENJOYABLE EVENING TOGETHER, MOM AND CAHARLEEN TALK AND GARY AND I TALK ABOUT TRUCKING, THE HOUSE, AND NASCAR! HE HAD A CEDER TREE FALL TOO AND WAS OUT CUTTING IT UP MOST OF THE DAY! WE’RE GOING TO RENT A SHREDDER AND TURN OUR CEDER TREE INTO MULCH FOR MOM’S GARDEN! I’M PRETTY SURE WE’LL HAVE MORE THAN SHE CAN USE SO WE’LL FIND PEOPLE WHO WANT WHAT WE DON’T USE!
MOM JUST FINISHED THE FIRST OF A SREIES OF INSTRUCTIONS ON “EXCEL”, I’M NOT SURE WHAT IT’S FOR BUT IF SHE CAN USE IT I KNOW IT’LL BE HANDY FOR WHAT SHE DOES WITH HER COMPUTER! MOM ALSO HAS A SCANNER AND A DELL PRINTER THAT I’M TAPPED INTO AND USE OCCASSIONALLY!
I’M LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO PUT THIS CHRONICLE TOGETHER EVERY NIGHT, THIS AND A FEW LETTERS TO PEOPLE WHO I CAN’T E-MAIL TO IS ABOUT ALL I DO WITH MY COMPUTER! I ALSO HAVE A FAX THAT I SEND A COPY TO CHAR MILLIGAN OVER IN “THE SHORES” AT OXNARD, CA., AND A LEXMARK COLOR PRINTER I USE OCCASSIONALLY TO PRINT THINGS I GET IN MY E-MAILS!
IF MAN WAS RUNNING THE WORLD;
1. EVERY MAN WOULD GET FOUR REAL “GET OUT OF JAIL FREE” CARDS PER YEAR.
2. TELEPHONES WOULD CUT OFF AFTER 30 SECONDS OF CONVERSATION.
3. THE VICTORS IN ANY ATHLETIC COMPETITION WOULD GET TO HAVE THE LOSERS DO ALL THEIR OUTSIDE LABOR, CUT THE GRASS, WALK THE DOG WASH THE CARS ETC ETC FOR ONE YEAR.
4. IT WOULD BE PERFECTLY LEGAL TO STEAL A SPORTS CAR, AS LONG AS YOU RETURNED IT THE FOLLOWING DAY WITH A FULL TANK OF GAS.
5. INSTEAD OF A FANCY, EXPENSIVE ENGAGEMENT RING, YOU COULD PRESENT YOU WIFE-TO-BE WITH A GIANT FOAM HAND THAT SAID, “YOU’RE #1!”
6. WHEN YOUR GIRL FRIEND REALLY NEEDED TO TALK TO YOU DURING THE GAME, SHE’D APPEAR IN A LITTLE BOX IN THE CORNER OF THE SCREEN DURING A TIME-OUT.
7. NODDING AND LOOKING AT YOUR WATCH WOULD BE DEEMED AS AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE FOR “I LOVE YOU”.
8. THE FUNNIEST GUY IN THE OFFICE WOULD GET TO BE CEO.
9. “SORRY I’M LATE, BUT I GOT WASTED LAST NIGHT,” WOULD BE AN ACCEPTABLE EXCUSE FOR TARDINESS.
10. AT THE END OF THE WORKDAY A WHISTLE WOULD BLOW AND YOU WOULD JUMP OUT OF YOUR WINDOW AND SLIDE DOWN THE TAIL OF A BRONTOSAURUS AND RIGHT INTO YOUR CAR!
11.HALLMARK WOULD MAKE “SORRY, WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?” CARDS
I DON’T CONDONE MOST OF THESE, THEY ARE OFFERED FOR YOUR READING ENJOYMENT ONLY! HOWARD
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
DID YOU SET YOUR CLOCKS AHEAD ONE HOUR?
No comments:
Post a Comment