CHRONICLE # 18 VOL 4

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 18 VOL 4

NOVEMBER 18^TH 2007

WEATHER; NICE, COOL, LOW HUMIDITY, 78 DEGREES

GOT ALL THE OLD CAULKING DOWN FROM ACROSS THE TOP OF THE FRAME ON THE SLIDING DOOR. TOMORROW I’LL MEASURE AND MARK OFF AND CUT THE PIECES OF PANELING I’M GOING TO PUT UP THERE THEN PAINT! MOM WILL PUT SOME INSULATION IN PLACES WHERE IT’S FALLEN DOWN BETWEEN THE WALLS. SHE’S WORKING REAL HARD TO HAVE THE DECK AND HOUSE READY FOR THANKSGIVING. OF COURSE SHE STILL HAS THE BAKING OF THE PIES, PUMPKIN, MINCE, PECAN, APPLE AND THIS YEAR I THINK SHES GOING TO MAKE SOME SWEETPOTATO. THEN BREAD AND ROLLS PLUS THE TURKEY AND DRESSING, CRANBERRY SAUCE AND IF SHE HAS TIME MAYBE SOME OF HER GOOOOOOD FRUIT SALAD AND OTHER THINGS SHE DOES FOR THE HOLLIDAYS! I’LL PROBABLY PUT ON ABOUT 10 LBS. UNLESS I WATCH IT AND THAT’S HARD TO DO WITH MOM’S COOKING! I’M SURE I’LL BE ELECTED TO CRACK THE PECANS BUT SHE’LL PICK THE NUT MEAT OUT OF THE SHELLS, ALL I GET IS LITTLE PIECES. WE DO THIS WHILE WATCHING TV! I OFFER TO HELP BUT SHE HAS CERTAIN WAYS SHE DOES THINGS AND IF SHE WANTS MY HELP SHE’LL ASK ME! IN ALMOST 50 YEARS I THINK SHE ASK FOR MY HELP PROBABLY TWICE EXCEPT FOR THE PECAN CRACKING!

THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING IS WHEN I PLAN TO START PUTTING UP THE OUTSIDE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND WE’LL GET OUT THE TREE AND DECORATIONS, CHECK ALL THE LIGHTS AND PROBABLY PUT THE TREE UP THE SUNDAY AFTER THANKSGIVING! A LITTLE EARLY BUT I LIKE TO MESS AROUND WITH MY TRAIN THAT I PUT AROUND THE TREE BASE FOR THE KIDS! YEAH, RIGHT, FOR US KIDS!

I MENTIONED WE GOT A NEW HEATER FOR THE LIVING ROOM, NOW WE HAVE THE OLD ONE THAT WORKS GOOD AS A HEATER AND PUTS OUT 4600 BTUs AN HOUR, IT HEATED OUR LIVING ROOM AND DINNING ROOM LAST YEAR, WE USED ADDITIONAL HEATERS DURING REAL COLD (BELOW 25 DEGREES) WEATHER. IT DOESN’T HAVE THE FLICKERING FLAMES. IF ANY ONE OUT THERE WANTS IT JUST COME AND GET IT, IT’S FREE. JUST CALL, FIRST COME FIRST SERVED! I HAVE THE BURNED OUT FLAME MOTOR AND THE WHEEL IT TURNS TO MAKE THE FLICKERING FLAMES SO IF YOU WANT THE FLAME EFFECT YOU CAN REPLACE THE MOTOR AND HOOK EVERYTHING UP. THE GLOWING LOGS STILL WORK!

HOW ABOUT SOME SOUTHERN HUMOR?

THINGS A TRUE SOUTHERNER KNOWS;

A TRUE SOUTHERNER KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HISSIE FIT AND A CONNIPTION, YOU DON’T “HAVE” THEM, YOU “PITCH” THEM.

A TRUE SOUTHERNER KNOWS HOW MANY FISH, COLLARD GREENS, TURNIP GREENS, PEAS, BEANS, ETC. MAKES UP A MESS.

A TRUE SOUTHERNER CAN SHOW OR POINT YOU IN THE DIRECTION OF “YONDER”.

A TRUE SOUTHERNER KNOWS EXACTLY HOW LONG “DIRECTLY” IS AS IN GOING TO TOWN “BE BACK DIRECTLY”.

EVEN A SOUTHERN BABY KNOWS THAT “GIMME SOME SUGAR” IS NOT A REQUEST FOR THE WHITE, GRANULAR SWEET SUBSTANCE THAT SETS IN A PRETTY LITTLE BOWL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE.

ALL TRUE SOUTHERNER KNOWS EXACTLY WHEN “BY AND BY” IS. THEY MIGHT NOT USE THE TERM BUT, THEY KNOW THE CONCEPT WELL.

TRUE SOUTHERNERS KNOW INSTINCTIVELY THAT THE BEST GESTURE OF SOLACE FOR A NEIGHBOR WHO’S GOT TROUBLE IS A PLATE OF FRIED CHICKEN AND A BIG BOWL OF COLD POTATO SALAD. (IF THE TROUBLE IS A REAL CRISIS, THEY ALSO KNOW TO ADD A LARGE BANANA PUDDIN’.)

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD