HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 28 VOL 4
NOVEMBER 28TH 2007
WEATHER; COOL, MED HUMIDITY, 61 DEGREES
JUST 27 SHOPPING DAYS TILL THE GUY IN THE RED SUIT COMES A CALLIN’.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON BUT WE SEEM TO BE GETTING A MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE! YESTERDAY IT WAS THE “CHECK ENGINE” LIGHT STARTED TO GO ON, TODAY MOM HAD TO GO IN AT 5AM AND TAKE SHANNON AND KONNER TO THE HOSPITAL FOR HIS SURGERY. WHEN SHE HEADED HOME THE ACCESSORY BELT THAT RUNS THE ALTERNATOR AND THE POWER STEERING PUMP CAME OFF, MOM LIMPED HOME WITH NO POWER STEERING OR ALTERNATOR. WE HAVE A VERY GOOD BATTERY IN THE CAR BUT HAVE NO WAY TO TURN THE P/S PUMP. NOW WE REMEMBERED WE MUST PICK UP HALEY JO AT PRE SCHOOL, THERE IS NO WAY I CAN PUT THE BELT BACK ON SO I CALLED OLD STAND BY KELLY. HE COULDN’T GET OFF TO DO IT BUT HE CALLED GLENDA’S DAUGHTER AND SHE PICKED UP HALEY JO. KELLY GOT HOME ABOUT 5:45 AND WENT TO WORK PUTTING THE BELT BACK ON THE PULLEYS. WE’VE GOT TO CHANGE THE OIL PUMP SEAL SO THIS DOESN’T KEEP HAPPENING, OIL BLOWS OUT ON THE CRANK PULLEY AND SATURATES THE BELT AND WHEN YOU HIT A LITTLE WATER ON THE ROADWAY IT SPLASHES UP ON LOWER PULLEY MAKING THE BELT REAL SLICK AND IT SLIPS OFF.
THE MESSAGE IS; GET THE OTHER CAR READY TO DRIVE SO YOU CAN LAY THE ’91 ACCLAIM UP TO FIX THE BELT PROBLEM! I E-MAILED TIM AND ASKED HIM WHAT IT ‘S GOING TO TAKE TO GET THE CAR READY TO GO TO B&B TO HAVE THE TRANSMISSION CHANGED. HE NAMED A FEW THINGS AND SAID HE’D GET RIGHT ON THEM. WE WON’T BE READY TO TAKE IT TO B&B TILL AFTER THE FIRST OF THE YEAR BUT I’D LIKE TO HAVE IT HERE SO WE WON’T HAVE TO GO TO PLANO TO GET IT WHEN WE’RE READY!
IT LOOKS LIKE KONNER CAME THROUGH THE SURGERY JUST FINE, MOM SAID HE WAS A LITTLE CRANKY, I’LL BET HE WAS MORE THAN A LITTLE CRANKY! I KNOW IF SOMEBODY CUT IN MY EARS AND ADENOIDS I’D BE RAISING BILLY HELL! BUT ONE THING ABOUT KIDS, THEY SEEM TO BE ABLE TO ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES MORE THAN ADULTS!
I HAVE TORN THE HOUSE APART LOOKING FOR MY ELECTRIC STAPLER OR EVEN MY MANUAL ONE THAT I’VE HAD FOR OVER 40 YEARS BUT NEITHER ONE IS HERE. MOM SAYS I PROBABLY LOANED THEM TO SOMEONE IN THE FAMILY AND DON’T REMEMBER WHO AND SHE’S PROBABLY RIGHT!
IF I’VE LOANED EITHER ONE TO ONE OF YOU WHO IS READING THIS CHRONICLE PLEASE CALL ME AND LET ME KNOW!
ON THE FIRST DAY GOD CREATED THE COW. GOD SAID, “YOU MUST GO TO THE FIELD WITH THE FARMER ALL DAY AND SUFFER UNDER THE SUN, HAVE CALVES AND GIVE MILK TO SUPPORT THE FARMER I WILL GIVE YOU A LIFE SPAN OF SIXTY YEARS.”
THE COW SAID, “THAT’S A KIND OF A TOUGH LIFE YOU WANT ME TO LIVE FOR SIXTY YEARS. LET ME HAVE TWENTY AND I’LL GIVE BACK THE OTHER FORTY.” AND GOD AGREED
ON THE SECOND DAY GOD CREATED THE DOG. GOD SAID, “SIT ALL DAY BY THE DOOR OF YOUR HOUSE AND BARK AT ANYONE WHO WALKS BY OR COMES IN. I WILL GIVE YOU A LIFE SPAN OF TWENTY YEARS.”
THE DOG SAID,”THAT’S TO LONG TO BE BARKING GIVE ME TEN YEARS AND I’LL GIVE BACK THE OTHER TEN.” SO GOD AGREED
ON THE THIRD DAY GOD CREATED THE MONKEY. GOD SAID,”ENTERTAIN PEOPLE, DO MONKEY TRICKS, MAKE THEM LAUGH. I’LL GIVE YOU A TWENTY YEAR LIFE SPAN.”
MONKEY SAID, “HOW BORING, MONKEY TRICKS FOR TWENTY YEARS? I DON’T THING SO. DOG GAVE YOU BACK TEN SO THAT’S WHAT I’LL DO.” AND GOD AGREED
ON THE FORTH DAY GOD CREATED MAN. GOD SAID, “EAT, SLEEP, PLAY, HAVE SEX, ENJOY, DO NOTHING, JUST ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY. I’LL GIVE YOU TWENTY YEARS,”
MAN SAID, “WHAT ONLY TWENTY YEARS? NO WAY. TELL YOU WHAT, I’LL TAKE MY TWENTY, AND THE FORTY THE COW GAVE BACK, AND THE TEN DOG GAVE BACK AND THE TEN MONKEY GAVE BACK THAT MAKES EIGHTY OKAY?
“OKAY,” SAID GOD. “YOU’VE GOT A DEAL.”
SO THAT IS WHY FOR THE FIRST TWENTY YEARS WE EAT, SLEEP, PLAY, HAVE SEX, ENJOY AND DO NOTHING; FOR THE NEXT FORTY YEARS WE SLAVE IN THE SUN TO SUPPORT OUR FAMLIES; FOR THE NEXT TEN WE DO MONKEY TRICKS TO ENTERTAIN OUR GRANDCHILDREN; AND FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS WE SIT IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE AND BARK AT EVERYBODY. AND THINK ABOUT LIFE’S GREATEST EARLY MOMENTS.
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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