DAYCRONICLE # 21 VOL 4

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 21 VOL 4

NOVEMBER 21^ST 2007

WEATHER; WARM, MED. HUMIDITY, 79 DEGREES

I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WISH YOU ALL A;

HAPPY AND BLESSED THANKSGIVING!

I’D RUN FOR MY LIFE!

WE WENT TO THE WRECKING YARD TO PICK UP THE REAR BUMPER FOR THE INTREPID BUT IT WAS LIGHT GRAY OUR CAR IS MORE LIKE CHARCOAL GRAY, TO BAD, IT WAS IN PERFECT CONDITION. WE DISCUSSED HAVING IT PAINTED BUT THAT WOULD COST ABOUT $40.00. IF WE’RE GOING TO PAINT ONE WE’LL GET AN AFTER MARKET, THEY COME PRIMED AND READY FOR SANDING AND PAINT! THEN ON THE WAY HOME WE STOPPED AT AUTO ZONE AND PICKED UP THE BRAKE PADS AND ROTORS, BOY THEY SURE ARE PROUD OF THESE PARTS, THE LAST ROTORS I BOUGHT FOR OUR ’91 ACCLAIM WERE $14.00 EACH WITH A LIFE TIME WARRANTEE, THE ONES FOR THE INTREPID WERE $42.00 EA. WITH A 2 YEAR WARRANTEE! OH WELL! I THINK IT’S CALLED PROGRESS! AND OF COURSE WE HAD TO DO SOME SHOPPING FOR THANKSGIVING, I SURE AM GLAD MOM GOES IN ALONE I STAY IN THE CAR AND REST, I’M DOING A LOT OF RESTING LATELY! MOM IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE RESTING BUT I CAN’T DO WHAT SHE DOES!

YOU SHOULD SEE THE PIES THAT ARE LINED UP ON OUT STOVE AND SINK, WOW, WHAT AN ASSORTMENT, APPLE, PUMPKIN, PECAN W/OUT CHOCOLATE AND PICAN W/ CHOCOLATE, SWEETPOTATO, I DON’T THINK I SAW ANY MINCE, I GUESS SHE’LL MAKE THAT FOR CHRISTMAS! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE HAS IN MIND FOR TOMORROW EXCEPT MOVING OUR BIG ROUND TABLE OUT ON THE DECK AND MAKING ROOM FOR CHAIRS IN WHERE THE DINING ROOM IS. WE WERE GOING TO SET THE DECK UP TO EAT ON BUT WITH THE TEMPURATURE IN THE 40s I DON’T THINK SO! SHE HAS IT ALL PLANED, THE GUEST WILL PICK UP A PLATE AND MAKE THE ROUNDS TO LOAD IT UP THEN SET DOWN AND EAT, I’M THINKING ABOUT MOVING THE COFFEE TABLE IN THE DINING AREA SO THEY WILL HAVE SOME PLACE TO PUT THEIR DRINKS.

I’LL LET YOU KNOW HOW EVERYTHING GOES IT USUALLY GOES GOOD SINCE WE DON’T ALLOW ANY ARGUING ABOUT RELIGION OR POLITICS AT OUR GET TOGETHERS. INFACT MOM AND CHARLEEN LATINIS PUT A STOP TO GARY AND I ARGUING ABOUT NASCAR AND THE DRIVERS. WE CAN DISCUSS QUIETLY BUT NO LOUD ARGUING!

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY THEY STERALIZE THE NEEDLE USED FOR A LETHAL INJECTION DURING AN EXACUTION?

TWO COWBOYS FROM ARIZONA WALKED INTO A ROADHOUSE TO WASH THE TRAILDUST FROM THEIR THROATS.THEY STAND AT THE BAR DRINKING THEIR BEER AND TALKING QUEITLY ABOUT CATTLE PRICES. SUDDENLY A WOMAN AT A TABLE BEHIND THEM, WHO HAD BEEN EATING A  SANDWICH BEGINS TO COUGH. AFTER A MNINUTE OR SO IT BECOMES APPARENT THAT SHE IS IN REAL DISTRESS, AND THE COWBOYS TURN TO LOOK AT HER. KIN  YA  SWALLER? ASK ONE OF THE COWBOYS. NO, THE WOMAN SHAKES HER HEAD. KIN YA BREATHE? ASK THE OTHER COWBOY. THE WOMAN, BEGINNING TO TURN A LITTLE BLUE, SHAKES HER HEAD NO, AGAIN. THE FIRST COWBOY WALKS OVER TO HER, LIFTS UP THE BACK OF HER SKIRT, YANKS DOWN HER PANTIES, AND SLOWLY RUNS HIS TONGUE FROM HER THIGH UP TO THE SMALL OF HER BACK. THIS SHOCKS THE WOMAN INTO A VIOLENT SPASAM, THE OBSTRUCTION FLIES OUT OF HER MOUTH AND SHE BEGINS TO BREATHE AGAIN. THE COWBOY WALKS OVER TO THE BAR AND TAKES A DRINK OF HIS BEER, HIS PARTNER SAYS, “YA KNOW, I’D HEARD OF THAT THERE HIND LICK MANUVER, BUT, I NEVER SEEN ANYBODY DO IT.”

ONE SUNDAY MORNING DURING SERVICES, A 2000 MEMBER CONGREGATION WAS SURPRISED TO SEE TWO MEN ENTER, BOTH COVERED FROM HEAD TO TOE IN BLACK AND CARRING SUBMACHINE GUNS. ONE OF THE MEN PROCLAIMED, “ANYONE WILLING TO TAKE A  BULLET  FOR CHRIST REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE.” IMMEDIATELY THE CHIOR FLED, THE DECON FLED, AND MOST OF THE CONGREGATION FLED. OUT OF 2000 THERE ONLY REMAINED ABOUT 20. THE MAN WHO HAD SPOKEN TOOK OFF HIS HOOD, LOOKED AT THE PREACHER AND SAID, “OK PASTOR, I GOT RID OF ALL THE HYPOCRITES, NOW YOU MAY BEGIN YOUR SERVICE, HAVE A NICE DAY!” AND THE TWO MEN TURNED AND WALKED OUT……..

NOW BE HONEST, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE, RUN OR STAY?

YOU CAN SEE MY ANSWER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CHRONICLE!

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD