HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 17 VOL 4
NOVEMBER 17TH 2007
WEATHER; COOL, LOW HUMIDTY, 66 DEGREES
TODAY STARTED OUT PRETTY GOOD, WE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HALEY JO HER GRANDMA DIDN’T REALIZE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY STARTED TODAY INSTEAD OF MONDAY, NO PROBLEM SHE’S A GOOD KID AND LIKES HER GRANDMA LILLIAN.
LATER ON WE GOT READY AND WENT AND REPRESENTED THE MAHONEY FAMILY AT MARGARET AND BILL ORRICK’S 50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSERY, WHAT A TURN OUT, THERE WERE WELL OVER 200 PEOPLE THERE AND WHAT A FEAST, HIS KIDS PUT THE WHOLE THING ON. THE SON BILLY MADE THE COMMENT ABOUT WHAT A TIME HE HAD GROWING UP WITH 4 SISTERS BUT THEY ALL TURNED OUT FINE!
WE STAYED FOR A WHILE AND MET A LOT OF OLD FRIENDS; BILL AND THELMA GRAY, JERRY CLEVELAND (HE PLAYED ALL THE TIME FOR LISTENING), JERRY HATFIELD AND OTHERS THAT I CAN’T CALL THEIR NAMES BUT, I’M SURE SOME OF YOU READING THIS WILL RECALL KNOWING THEM!
THE LENA AND OLE JOKES ARE FROM MRS. OLSON’S POTATO LeFse HUMOR PAGE. I HAD ONE READER CONTACT ME AND SAID HE WAS GOING TO FIND A SCANDANAVIAN TO TELL SOME IRISH IMMAGRANT JOKES. I KNOW THEY’RE FUNNY AND WILL ENJOY SENDING THEM ON TO ALL OF YOU! IF ANY ONE ELSE WANT TO SEND ME SOME MATERIAL I’LL USE IT!
SVEN AND OLE WERE BUSY SHINGLING A ROOF WHEN SVEN NOTICED THAT OLE WAS THROWING AWAY ABOUT HALF OF THE NAILS. SVEN ASKED, “VHY ARE YOU T’ROWING AWAY ALL DOSE NAILS?” “VELL, DEY GOT DA HEADS ON DA WRONG END, DATS VHY.” REPLIED OLE. “OLE, YOU SURE ARE STUPID DOSE NAILS ARE FOR DA UDDER SIDE OF DA ROOF.
HOW ABOUT A TEXAS STORY?
A TEXAN DIED AND ASCENDED INTO HEAVEN. ST. PETER MET HIM AND WELCOMED HIM SAYING “YOU WILL CERTAINLY ENJOY PARADISE.” THE TEXAN SHOOK HIS HEAD AND SAID “I ALWAYS THOUGHT TEXAS WAS PARADISE.” ST. PETER SAID “WELL LET ME SHOW WHAT WE HAVE TO OFFER.” HE TOOK THE TEXAN TO AN AREA THAT HAD A BEAUTIFUL RIVER FLOWING THROUGH IT WITH WILDLIFE AND FLOWERS EVERYWHERE. “ISN’T THAT BEAUTIFUL?” SAID ST. PETER THE TEXAN REPLIED, “YES, BUT NOT AS PRETTY AS THE AREA AROUND SAN ANTONIO.” SOMEWHAT RUFFLED, ST. PETER TOOK HIM TO ANOTHER AREA WHERE THERE WERE ROLLING HILLS, WHITETAIL DEER AND BLUEBONNETS AND INDIAN PAINTBRUSH EVERYWHERE. “NOW” SAID ST. PETER “HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING SO WONDERFUL?” “YES IT IS BEAUTIFUL BUT IT DOESN’T HOLD A CANDLE TO THE TEXAS HILL COUNTRY IN THE SPRINGTIME.” BECOMING MORE UPSET ST. PETER TOOK THE TEXAN TO A BEAUTIFUL WHITE BEACH, WITH GENTLE WAVES, AND AN AZURE SKY. “NOW HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING THIS BEAUTIFUL IN TEXAS” SAID ST. PETER. THE TEXAN SMILED AND SAID “I GUESS YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO SOUTH PADRE ISLAND?” AT THIS POINT ST. PETER TOOK THE TEXAN TO A LARGE ROCK. ON THE SIDE OF THE ROCK WAS A DOOR, ST. PETER OPENED THE DOOR AND THEY STEPPED INTO AN ELEVATOR AND STARTED GOING DOWN. AS THEY DESCENDED, IT GREW MORE AND MORE HOT. WHEN THE ELEVATOR DOOR OPENED IT REVEALED THE FIRES OF DAMNATION IN HELL. ST. PETER SAID, “NOW, HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING IN TEXAS TO TOP THAT?” THE TEXAN THOUGHT A MINUTE AND SHOOK HIS HEAD. “NO, BUT I KNOW A COUPLE OF OLD BOYS FROM HOUSTON THAT CAN PUT THAT THING OUT FOR YOU.”
A LITTLE LONG BUT A GOOD EXAMPLE OF HOW TEXANS FEEL ABOUT THEIR STATE!
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOPE YOU’RE ENJOYING THESE AS MUCH AS I DO PUTTING THEM TOGETHER!
I’LL START DOING MORE ABOUT THE FAMILY NEXT MONDAY!
HOWARD
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