HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 20 VOL 4
November 20TH 2007
WEATHER; COOL, LOW HUMIDITY, 77 DEGREES
AS EXPECTED I GOT THE JOB OF CRACKING THE PECANS WHICH I ENJOY DOING AS MY PART OF THE PREPARATIONS FOR THANKSGIVING AND MOM TAKES THE MEAT OUT OF THE SHELLS. MOM, SHANNON AND KONNER WENT OUT TO SOMEBODIES PECAN TREES AND PICK UP MORE OF THEM, I CRACKED A FEW AND IT LOOKS LIKE PRETTY GOOD CROP! MOM USES A LOT OF PECANS IN HER COOKING FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS, PECAN BRITTLE, PINIA COLLATTA WITH WHITE CHOCOLATE AND PICANS, SALTED PECANS IN A PARTY MIX, AND OF COURSE PICAN PIES THAT SOME PEOPLE WOULD KILL FOR!
FROM WHAT THE WEATHER MAN SAYS WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A REAL COLD THANKSGIVING, HIGH OF 48. THAT PUT THE KYBOSH ON OUR OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES, WE HAD PLANNED ON SERVING THE MEAL IN THE HOUSE AND LET THE GUEST GO OUT ON THE DECK TO EAT AND VISIT BUT, THE BEST MADE PLANS ON MICE AND MEN GO DOWN THE TOILET OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT! ASK MOM, SHE KNOWS WHAT THE OTHER LINE IS!
I CALLED THE WRECKING YARD WHERE I GOT THE TRANSMISSION FOR THE INTREPID AND THEY HAVE A REAL GOOD REAR BUMPER THE SAME COLOR FOR IT WHICH I’LL PICK UP TOMORROW ALONG WITH NEW CERAMIC BRAKE PADS AND ROTORS. IT LOOKS LIKE OUR GUEST LIST IS GOING TO BE; MOM AND I, SHANNON, TIM AND ELYSE AND THE KIDS, KELLY, GLENDA AND HALEY JO, COLLEEN AND DICK WILL COME LATER IN THE AFTERNOON SINCE DICK IS ON KIND OF A RESTRICTED DIET, THEIR COMPANY IS WHAT WE WANT! MIKE AND CINY ARE GOING TO HER SISTERS, KERRY AND DEBI WILL SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER IN LOUISIANA WHERE KERRY WORKS BUT THEY WILL BE HERE FOR CHRISTMAS AS IT STANDS NOW!
OUR CHRISTMAS GUEST LIST IS; PEGGY, PAUL AND JACQUE, COLLEEN AND DICK, MIKE, CINDY AND THE BOYS, KERRY AND DEBI, KELLY, GLENDA AND HALEY JO, SHANNON AND KONNER, TIM, ELYSE, BRADLEY AND KYRA AND POSSIBLY BILL MASON IF HE CAN MAKE IT! WE’D LIKE TO HAVE BEV COVILLE MOM’S COUSIN (SIS) IF SHE CAN MAKE IT BUT SHE HAS FAMILY IN EL PASO SHE SPENDS CHRISTMAS WITH! BILL WOULD HAVE TO FLY INTO DFW AND WE’D PICK HIM UP OR LIKE HE DID LAST TIME HE WAS HERE HE RENTED A CAR AND DROVE UP! THAT TIME HE GOT CAUGHT WITH THE 9/11 ATTACK AND HAD TO DRIVE THE CAR ALL THE WAY BACK TO CALIFORNIA SINCE ALL FLIGHT WERE CANCELLED!
I STILL HAVEN’T CUT THE PIECE OF PANELING FOR OVER THE GLASS DOOR BUT I PLAN ON GETTING IT DONE BEFORE THANKSGIVING WHICH MEANS TOMORROW IF MY CALCULATIONS ARE RIGHT? LETS SEE; TODAY IS TUESDAY, TOMORROW IS WEDNESDAY, YEAH, I CAN GET IT DONE BEFORE THURSDAY IF I HURRY!
JUST A FEW MORE SOUTHERN JOKES;
TRUE SOUTHERNERS NEVER REFER TO ONE PERSON AS “YA’LL”.
TRUE SOUTHERNERS KNOW GRITS COME FROM CORN AND HOW TO EAT THEM.
EVERY TRUE SOUTHERNER KNOWS TOMATOES WITH EGGS, BACON, GRITS AND COFFEE ARE PERFECTLY WONDERFUL; THAT REDEYE GRAVY IS ALSO A BREAKFAST FOOD: THAT GREEN TOMATOES ARE NOT A BREAKFAST FOOD.
WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEONE SAY, “WELL, I CALLED MYSELF LOOKIN FOR YOU,” YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN THE PRESENCE OF A GENUINE SOUTHERNER.
SOUTHERNERERS SAY “SWEET TEA” AND SWEET MILK.” SWEET TEA INDICATES THE NEED FOR SUGAR AND LOTS OF IT-WE DON’T LIKE OUR TEA UNSWEETENED; “SWEET MILK MEANS YOU DON’T WANT BUTTERMILK.
AND A TRUE SOUTHERNER KNOWS YOU DON’T SCREAM OBSCENITIES AT LITTLE OLD LADIES WHO DRIVE 30 ON THE FREEWAY-YOU SAY- “BLESS HER HEART” AND GO YOUR WAY!
OK. I’LL GIVE YOU A BREAK FROM THOSE AND WILL HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO STARTING MONDAY!
BE TRUTHFUL, DID YOU ENJOY THESE SOUTHERN SAYINGS?
THAT’S “30”FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
No comments:
Post a Comment