HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 19 VOL 9
APROL 19TH 2008
WEATHER; REAL NICE, LOW HUMIDITY, 51/75 DEGREES
ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; “WHEN THE MOON COMES OVER THE MOUNTAINS” WAS HER THEME SONG FOR HER WHOLE CAREER!
POP QUIZ; IN THE OLD TV SERIES “MISSION IMPOSSIBLE” WHAT WAS THE LEAD ACTORS REAL NAME AND WHO WAS HIS FAMOUS BROTHER?
TIM AND KELLY GOT THE TRANSMISSION IN THE INTREPID AND BOLTED DOWN. THEY HAD IT IN ONCE AND HAD TO TAKE IT OUT, THE TORQUE CONVERTER GOT JAMMED AND IT WOULDN’T TURN FREELY. THEN WHEN THEY GOT THE TRANSMISSION OUT IT WAS A HELL OF A JOB TO GET THE TORQUE CONVERTER FREED FROM THE SPLINES BUT THEY FINALLY DID AND PUT IT BACK IN, THE SECOND TIME IT ONLY TOOK THEM 1HOUR AND 5 MINUTES TO GET IT IN AND BOLTED DOWN. TIM WON’T BE ABLE TO COME BACK UP FOR TWO WEEKS SO KELLY AGREED TO FINISH IT UP SUNDAY! ALL THE HARD WORK IS DONE NOW IT’S JUST A CASE OF HOOKING THINGS UP AND MOUNTING THE STARTER HE SAYS HE SHOULD HAVE IT DONE ABOUT 2-2:30PM!
IF THEY WOULD HAVE HAD A DECENT WORK AREA INSTEAD OF GRAVEL IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT EASIER AND FASTER! MOM SAYS IF THIS TRANSMISSION ISN’T ANY GOOD WE’RE GOING TO TAKE THE CAR ACROSS THE SCALES AT TRIPLE “T” WRECKING YARD!
I HAVE EVERY CONFIDENCE THAT IT’S A GOOD TRANSMISSION, WHEN THEY CHANGED THE FRONT PUMP SEAL THEY TOOK OUT A FACTORY SEAL THAT DIDN’T SHOW ANY WEAR OR THAT IT HAD LEAKED. THE SAME THING FOR THE RIGHT AXLE SEAL, LIKE NEW, THE LEFT ONE COULDN’T BE CHANGED BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T GET THE VELOCITY JOINT HOUSING OUT BUT THE HOUSING CHECKED PERFECT, NO WEAR OR SCORING AND IT DIDN’T SHOW ANY SIGNS OF HAVING LEAKED.
WE’VE WAITED A LONG TIME TO GET THIS CAR ON THE ROAD AND SEE IF IT WILL PERFORM AS WELL AS THE ACCLAIM! ACCORDIN G TO EVERYONE I’VE TALKED TO IT SHOULD GIVE US AROUND 26-28 MPG! I’VE GOT SOME THINGS I’M GOING TO TRY TO INCREASE IT TO 28-30 MPG OR MORE! ON THE 6000 MILE TRIP WE MADE IN THE ACCLAIM WE AVERAGED 22-24 AND GOT AS HIGH AS 28-30 RUNNING 70-75 MPH!
RULES FOR MANAGERS
1. NEVER GIVE ME WORK IN THE MORNING. ALWAYS WAIT UNTIL 4:00 AND THEN BRING IT TO ME. THE CHALLENGE OF A DEADLINE IS REFRESHING.
2. IF IT'S REALLY A RUSH JOB, RUN IN AND INTERRUPT ME EVERY 10 MINUTES TO INQUIRE HOW IT'S GOING. THAT HELPS. EVEN BETTER, HOVER BEHIND ME, AND ADVISE ME AT EVERY KEYSTROKE.
3. ALWAYS LEAVE WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE WHERE YOU'RE GOING. IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO BE CREATIVE WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHERE YOU ARE.
4. IF MY ARMS ARE FULL OF PAPERS, BOXES, BOOKS, OR SUPPLIES, DON'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR ME. I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO FUNCTION AS A PARAPLEGIC AND OPENING DOORS WITH NO ARMS IS GOOD TRAINING IN CASE I SHOULD EVER BE INJURED AND LOSE ALL USE OF MY LIMBS.
5. IF YOU GIVE ME MORE THAN ONE JOB TO DO, DON'T TELL ME WHICH IS PRIORITY. I AM PSYCHIC . 6. DO YOUR BEST TO KEEP ME LATE. I ADORE THIS OFFICE AND REALLY HAVE NOWHERE TO GO OR ANYTHING TO DO. I HAVE NO LIFE BEYOND WORK.
7. IF A JOB I DO PLEASES YOU, KEEP IT A SECRET. IF THAT GETS OUT, IT COULD MEAN A PROMOTION.
8. IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY WORK, TELL EVERYONE. I LIKE MY NAME TO BE POPULAR IN CONVERSATIONS. I WAS BORN TO BE WHIPPED.
9. IF YOU HAVE SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS FOR A JOB, DON'T WRITE THEM DOWN. IN FACT, SAVE THEM UNTIL THE JOB IS ALMOST DONE. NO USE CONFUSING ME WITH USEFUL INFORMATION.
10. NEVER INTRODUCE ME TO THE PEOPLE YOU'RE WITH. I HAVE NO RIGHT TO KNOW ANYTHING. IN THE CORPORATE FOOD CHAIN, I AM PLANKTON. WHEN YOU REFER TO THEM LATER, MY SHREWD DEDUCTIONS WILL IDENTIFY THEM.
11. BE NICE TO ME ONLY WHEN THE JOB I'M DOING FOR YOU COULD REALLY CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO MANAGER'S HADES.
12. TELL ME ALL YOUR LITTLE PROBLEMS. NO ONE ELSE HAS ANY AND IT'S NICE TO KNOW SOMEONE IS LESS FORTUNATE. I ESPECIALLY LIKE THE STORY ABOUT HAVING TO PAY SO MANY TAXES ON THE BONUS CHECK YOU RECEIVED FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD MANAGER.
13. WAIT UNTIL MY YEARLY REVIEW AND THEN TELL ME WHAT MY GOALS SHOULD HAVE BEEN. GIVE ME A MEDIOCRE PERFORMANCE RATING WITH A COST OF LIVING INCREASE. I'M NOT HERE FOR THE MONEY ANYWAY.
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE
HOWARD
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