HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 22 VOL 9
APRIL 22ND 2008
WEATHER; WARM, HIGH HUMIDITY, 53/87 DEGREES
ANSWER TO POP QUIZ; THE UNDERTAKERS NAME WAS “DIGGBY O’DELL” HIS PARTING REMARKS WERE “I’LL BE THE LAST ONE TO LET YOU DOWN” AND “I GUESS I’LL BE, SHOVELING OFF!”
POP QUIZ; IN THE MOVIE “FLYING TIGERS” WHO PLAYED THE HOT SHOT SELF CENTERED PILOT?
GLENDA TOOK ME TO R&D THIS MORNING TO GET THE FAN MOTOR FOR THE ACCLAIM, THE FIRST ONE WAS FOR A 4 CYLINDER AND WE HAD TO TAKE IT BACK! THE BLACK MAN WHO GOT IT FOR ME SAID THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANY 6 CYLINDER ACCLAIMS IN THE YARD! ANOTHER YARD MAN SAID TO HIM COME ON WE’LL CHECK AGAIN AND IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES THEY WERE BACK WITH ONE FOR A 6 CYLINDER, THEY HOOKED IT UP TO A BATTERY AND IT RAN REAL QUIET!
I PUT IT IN AND COULDN’T GET IT TO WORK SO I STARTED LOOKING FOR THE REASON, I FOUND IT, KELLY HAD CUT THE PLUG TO THE BLOWER MOTOR OFF THE LOOM AND HOOKED IT DIRECT SO MOM COULD GET HOME THE OTHER DAY! I CALLED HIM AND REMINDED HIM ABOUT THE WIRES AND HE SAID HE WAS BRINGING HOME THE THINGS TO FIX IT WITH! HE GOT IT ALL HOOKED UP AND IT COMES ON BUT BLOWS REAL SLOW! I HAVE TO GO TO THE VA IN BONHAM IN THE MORNING AND THEN PICK UP THE INTREPID ON THE WAY HOME SO HE’LL CHECK IT TOMORROW WHEN HE GETS HOME!
MORE GOODIES FROM ARCAMAX
OFFICER FITNESS REPORTS
THE BRITISH MILITARY WRITES OFR'S (OFFICER FITNESS REPORTS). THE FORM USED FOR ROYAL NAVY AND MARINES FITNESS REPORTS IS THE S206. THE FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL EXCERPTS TAKEN FROM PEOPLE'S "206'S"....
- HIS MEN WOULD FOLLOW HIM ANYWHERE, BUT ONLY OUT OF CURIOSITY.
- I WOULD NOT BREED FROM THIS OFFICER.
- THIS OFFICER IS REALLY NOT SO MUCH OF A HAS-BEEN, BUT MORE OF A DEFINITELY WON'T-BE.
- WHEN SHE OPENS HER MOUTH, IT SEEMS THAT THIS IS ONLY TO CHANGE WHICHEVER FOOT WAS PREVIOUSLY IN THERE.
- HE HAS CARRIED OUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF HIS DUTIES TO HIS ENTIRE SATISFACTION.
- HE WOULD BE OUT OF HIS DEPTH IN A CAR PARK PUDDLE.
- TECHNICALLY SOUND, BUT SOCIALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
- THIS OFFICER REMINDS ME VERY MUCH OF A GYROSCOPE - ALWAYS SPINNING AROUND AT A FRANTIC PACE, BUT NOT REALLY GOING ANYWHERE.
- THIS YOUNG LADY HAS DELUSIONS OF ADEQUACY.
- WHEN HE JOINED MY SHIP, THIS OFFICER WAS SOMETHING OF A GRANNY; SINCE THEN HE HAS AGED CONSIDERABLY.
- SINCE MY LAST REPORT HE HAS REACHED ROCK BOTTOM, AND HAS STARTED TO DIG.
- SHE SETS LOW PERSONAL STANDARDS AND THEN CONSISTENTLY FAILS TO ACHIEVE THEM.
- HE HAS THE WISDOM OF YOUTH, AND THE ENERGY OF OLD AGE.
- THIS OFFICER SHOULD GO FAR - AND THE SOONER HE STARTS, THE BETTER.
- IN MY OPINION THIS PILOT SHOULD NOT BE AUTHORIZED TO FLY BELOW 250 FEET.
- THE ONLY SHIP I WOULD RECOMMEND THIS MAN FOR IS CITIZENSHIP.
- WORKS WELL WHEN UNDER CONSTANT SUPERVISION AND CORNERED LIKE A RAT IN A TRAP
- THIS MAN IS DEPRIVING A VILLAGE SOMEWHERE OF AN IDIOT.
- ONLY OCCASIONALLY WETS HIMSELF UNDER PRESSURE.
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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