HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 13 VOL 10
MAY 13TH 2008
WEATHER; WARM, HIGH HUMIDITY, 44/81 DEGREES
MOM LOADED THE INTREPID WITH BAGS OF CANS AND OTHER ALUMINUM TO TAKE TO THE SCRAP YARD, THEN WE WERE GOING TO GO PAY A BILL, THEN LUNCH, THEN HOME DEPOT, THEN SEARS TO GET A PRICE ON DOING THE STRUTS, SHOCKS AND ALIGNMENT, THEN TO WAL-MART FOR SOME CAT FOOD AND WASHER FLUID, I FOUND A 60 WATT A/M F/M CD PLAYER RADIO ON SALE FOR $49.88 SO WE BOUGHT IT, IT HAS THE ANTI THEFT FACE PLATE!
WELL, THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE AND MEN SOMETIMES DON’T WORK OUT OR, SOMETHING LIKE THAT!
ANYWAY, WE GOT ON THE DAM AND I NOTICEDTHE HOOD WAS LOSE, I’D RELEASED THE LATCH TO PUT WASHER FLUID IN THE CONTAINER BUT WE WERE OUT OF THE FLUID AND I DIDN’T CLOSE THE HOOD TIGHT! AS WE SLOWED DOWN THE CAR STARTED TO JERK AND WHEN WE CAME TO A STOP SMOKE WAS COMING OUT FROM UNDER THE HOOD, MOM SAID SHE SMELLED HOT OIL SO I WAS GOING TO TURN AROUND AND HEAD BACK HOME BUT IT WOULDN’T PULL, ALL OF A SUDDEN IT JERKED AND PULLED ENOUGH TO GET TURNED AROUND AND EASE IT OFF THE DAM TO A PARKING PLACE! MOM CALLED GLENDA AND HAD HER COME AND PICK HER UP, I STAYED WITH THE CAR! MOM CAME BACK WITH THE ACCLAIM AND WE WENT AND TOOK CARE OF ALL THE THINGS WE WANTED TO DO!
WHEN KELLY GOT HOME HE AND GLENDA WENT TO THE CAR AND CHECKED IT OUT! ONE OF THE TRANSMISSION COOLER LINES HAD BLOWN OF THE FITTING ON THE RADIATOR, HE TIGHTENED THE CLAMP AND PUT FLUID IN IT AND DROVE IT BUT, IT WOULDN’T SHIFT OUT OF LOW SO HE RECHECKED THE FLUID LEVEL AND HAD TO ADD TWO MORE QUARTS! I’LL KNOW TOMORROW IF ANYTHING WAS DAMAGED!
SEARS WANTS $220.00 TO DO THE STRUTS AND SHOCKS THEN, $69.99 TO ALIGN IT. KELLY CAN’T DO THE ALIGNMENT BUT SAID HE WOULD DO THE STRUTS AND SHOCKS FOR $110.00 WHICH IS FINE WITH US AND HIM, WE JUST CREDIT IT TO WHAT HE OWES US FOR THE HOUSE, IT WORKS OUT JUST FINE! WE PAY HIM AND TIM FOR ALL THE MECHANICAL WORK THEY DO. ACTUALLY, WE PAY THEM FOR ANY BIG JOBS THEY DO, THE LITTLE STUFF IS A GIVEN!
I HAVEN’T HEARD FROM PEGGY ABOUT THE RACE LAST WEEKEND SO, I GUESS I’LL SEND HER AN E-MAIL AND FIND OUT!
TIM’S HAVING PLUMBING PROBLEMS AND IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOMEONE THERE TODAY WITH A PIECE OF EQUIPMENT TO FIND OUT WHERE THE PLUG/BREAK IS IN THE MAIN SEWER LINE IN THE SLAB? HE’S NOT GOING TO LET WHOEVER DOES THE JOB JUST BREAK THE SLAB UP WITH A JACK HAMMER, HE WANTS IT CUT DOWN EITHER SIDE OF THE PIPE WITH A CONCRETE SAW THEN THE CENTER BROKE OUT SO IT’LL BE EASIER TO REPAIR, GOOD THINKING!
I GO BACK TO BONHAM VA THURSDAY TO HAVE MY LEG CHECKED AGAIN! IT ISN’T GETTING ANY BETTER OR WORSE BUT IT’S SENSITIVE TO THE TOUCH, I WON’T TAKE ANYMORE OF THE ANTIBIOTICS THEY GAVE ME BECAUSE OF THE SIDE EFFECTS. I GOT SO WEAK I COULDN’T WALK DOWN MY RAMP, FORGET COMING BACK UP!
SHANNON AND KONNER WERE HERE FOR A VISIT SHANNON USED OUR VACUMM TO CLEAN HER CAR OUT! IT’S A TOYOTA AVALON AND IS A REAL CLEAN WELL KEPT USED CAR! SHE SAID HER A/C WAS ACTING UP SO SHE WAS TAKING IT BACK TO WHERE SHE BOUGHT IT, IT’S STILL UNDER WARANTEE!
CHEAP PARROT
A WOMAN WENT TO A PET SHOP AND IMMEDIATELY SPOTTED A LARGE, BEAUTIFUL PARROT. THERE WAS A SIGN ON THE CAGE THAT SAID $50.00. “WHY SO LITTLE” SHE ASKED THE PET STORE OWNER.
THE OWNER LOOKED AT HER AND SAID, “LOOK, I SHOULD TELL YOU FIRST THAT THIS BIRD USED TO LIVE IN A HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION AND SOMETIMES IT SAYS SOME PRETTY VULGAR STUFF.”
THE WOMAN THOUGHT ABOUT THIS, BUT DECIDED SHE HAD TO HAVE THE BIRD ANYWAY. SHE TOOK IT HOME AND HUNG THE BIRD’S CAGE UP IN HER LIVING ROOM AND WAITED FOR IT TO SAY SOMETHING.
THE BIRD LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM, THEN AT HER, AND SAID, “NEW HOUSE, NEW MADAM.”
THE WOMAN WAS A BIT SHOCKED AT THE IMPLICATION, BUT THEN THOUGHT, “THAT’S REALLY NOT SO BAD.”
WHEN HER TWO DAUGHTERS RETURNED FROM SCHOOL THE BIRD SAW AND SAID, “NEW HOUSE, NEW MADAM, NEW GIRLS.”
THE GIRLS AND THE WOMAN WERE A BIT OFFENDED BUT THEN BEGAN TO LAUGH ABOUT THE SITUATION CONSIDERING HOW AND WHERE THE PARROT HAD BEEN RAISED.
MOMENTS LATER, THE WOMAN’S HUSBAND ‘KEITH’ CAME HOME FROM WORK.
THE BIRD LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID,
“HI, KEITH!”
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
No comments:
Post a Comment