HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 24 VOL 10
MAY 24TH 2008
WEATHER; HOT, HI HUMIDITY, 74/91 DEGREES
KELLY AND GLENDA WENT AND HELPED GARY AND CHARLEEN MOVE DEBBY INTO AN APPARTMENT WHERE SHANNON LIVES! IT TOOK TWO 16FT TRAILER LOADS AND TWO PICKUP LOADS TO GET IT DONE! THEY CAN’T ORDER THE ELECTRIC TURNED ON TILL TUESDAY SO DEBBY’S STAYING WITH GARY AND CHARLEEN!
MY TOE IS DOING BETTER AND DRAINING ON ITS OWN, I HAVEN’T TOUCHED IT, MAYBE BY TUESDAY WHEN I HAVE TO BE IN DALLAS IT’LL BE LOOKING BETTER, NOW IT LOOKS BAD BUT, IT STILL DOESN’T HURT AND I CAN MOVE IT REAL EASY! I HAVE MY DOUBTS ABOUT IT BEING BROKE AND IF IT IS WHY DIDN’T THEY TAPE IT TO THE NEXT TOE TO KEEP IT IN PLACE? ACTUALLY THAT’S ABOUT ALL YOU CAN DO FOR A BROKEN TOE, THEY DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH IT, JUST LOOKED AT IT, I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS FOR THE ORTHOPEDIC PEOPLE IN DALLAS!
I WATCHED A GOOD SERIES ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL TONIGHT, “ICE ROAD TRUCKERS”! THOSE DRIVERS REALLY TAKE THEIR LIVES IN THEIR HANDS PULLING THOSE HEAVY LOADS OVER THE ICE THAT’S ONLY 38” THICK WITH 55-65 FEET OF WATER UNDER THE ICE! IF A TRUCK GOES THRU THE ICE THEY WRITE THE DRIVER OFF, THERE’S NO WAY HE/SHE COULD SURVIVE! THEY’RE STARTING A NEW SERIES NEXT MONTH CALLED “THE AX/MEN”, IT’S ABOUT LOGGING AND ALL IT’S DANGERS AND THERE ARE MANY ACCORDING TO THE PRO-MOS!
KERRY CALLED THIS EVENING TO SEE HOW WE’RE DOING AND ABOUT MY TOE! ALL WE COULD SAY IS WE’RE DOING FINE AND MY TOE IS FINE BUT I HAVE TO GO TO DALLAS FOR THEM TO LOOK AT IT!
DIDN'T DO IT
ONE DAY A MAN COMES HOME FROM WORK TO FIND TOTAL MAYHEM AT HOME. THE KIDS WERE OUTSIDE STILL IN THEIR PAJAMAS PLAYING IN THE MUD AND MUCK. THERE WERE EMPTY FOOD BOXES AND WRAPPERS ALL AROUND.
AS HE PROCEEDED INTO THE HOUSE, HE FOUND AN EVEN BIGGER MESS. DISHES ON THE COUNTER, DOG FOOD SPILLED ON THE FLOOR, A BROKEN GLASS UNDER THE TABLE, AND A SMALL PILE OF SAND BY THE BACK DOOR. THE FAMILY ROOM WAS STREWN WITH TOYS AND VARIOUS ITEMS OF CLOTHING, AND A LAMP HAD BEEN KNOCKED OVER. HE HEADED UP THE STAIRS, STEPPING OVER TOYS, TO LOOK FOR HIS WIFE.
HE WAS BECOMING WORRIED THAT SHE MAY BE ILL, OR THAT SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO HER. HE FOUND HER IN THE BEDROOM, STILL IN BED WITH HER PAJAMAS ON, READING A BOOK. SHE LOOKED UP AT HIM, SMILED, AND ASKED HOW HIS DAY WENT.
HE LOOKED AT HER BEWILDERED AND ASKED, "WHAT HAPPENED HERE TODAY?"
SHE AGAIN SMILED AND ANSWERED, "YOU KNOW EVERYDAY WHEN YOU COME HOME FROM WORK AND ASK ME WHAT I DID TODAY?"
"YES," WAS HIS REPLY.
SHE SAID, "WELL, TODAY I DIDN'T DO IT!"
TWO STORKS
TWO STORKS ARE SITTING IN THEIR NEST: A FATHER STORK AND BABY STORK. THE BABY STORK IS CRYING AND CRYING AND FATHER STORK IS TRYING TO CALM HIM. "DON'T WORRY, SON. YOUR MOTHER WILL COME BACK. SHE'S ONLY BRINGING PEOPLE BABIES AND MAKING THEM HAPPY."
THE NEXT NIGHT, IT'S FATHER'S TURN TO DO THE JOB. MOTHER AND SON ARE SITTING IN THE NEST, THE BABY STORK IS CRYING, AND MOTHER IS SAYING "SON, YOUR FATHER WILL BE BACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, BUT NOW HE'S BRINGING JOY TO NEW MOMMIES AND DADDIES."
A FEW DAYS LATER, THE STORK'S PARENTS ARE DESPERATE: THEIR SON IS ABSENT FROM THE NEST ALL NIGHT! SHORTLY BEFORE DAWN, HE RETURNS AND THE PARENTS ASK HIM WHERE HE'S BEEN ALL NIGHT. THE BABY STORK SAYS, "NOWHERE JUST SCARING THE HECK OUT OF COLLEGE STUDENTS!"
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE
HOWARD
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