HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 17 VOL 10
MAY 17TH 2008
WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 47/86 DEGREES
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET DICKS “LIMB CHIPPER” BUT HE AND COLLEEN WENT TO A CAR SHOW AT BEVERS BEND UP IN OKLAHOMA SO I GUESS WE’LL GET IT TOMORROW! WE’VE GOT A BIG PILE OF CEDER BRANCHES AND LIMBS MOM WANTS TO MAKE INTO MULCH FOR HER GARDEN
SHE AND I WORKED OUTSIDE TODAY SHE MOWED THE YARD AND DID A GENERAL PICK UP OF ITEMS LEFT ON THE LAWN BY THE KIDS! KELLY MOVED AN A/C PLUG FROM UNDER THE DECK AND I MOUNTED IT TO ONE OF THE 4X4s THAT SUPPORTS THE ROOF!
MOM BOUGHT A BREAD MAKING MACHINE FROM SALVATION ARMY AND THE PADDLE WAS STUCK TO THE SHAFT SO I WORKED IT LOSE THEN AFTER CLEANING EVERYTHING UP SHE MADE A LOAF OF BREAD! IT LOOKS GOOD FROM THE BOTTOM BUT SHE SAYS IT’S NO GOOD ON TOP! SOMETHING WENT WRONG SO SHE’LL MAKE ANOTHER LOAF TOMORROW!
KELLY HAD A BIG FIRE GOING BURNING BRANCHES THE WIND HAD KNOCKED OFF THE TREES AND SOME OLD ROTTEN LUMBER! HE WENT TO MOVE A BOARD THAT DIDN’T LOOK LIKE IT HAD BURNED BUT WHEN HE PICKED IT UP IT WAS RED HOT ON THE BOTTOM AND BURNED HIS FINGERS PRETTY BAD! HE’S BEEN DOCTORING THEM ALL DAY! ANY TIME MOM OR I DO ANYTHING WITH OLD WOOD, RUSTY METAL AND THINGS AROUND A FIRE WE USE A METAL RAKE WE HAVE WITH A PIPE HANDLE AND WE ALWAYS WEAR GLOVES!
HERE’S A REPORT FROM PEGGY ON LAST WEEKS RACE AT BAKERSFIELD, CA. THOUGHT SOME OF YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED!
WELL, IT PICK-UP A LITTLE MORE. FIRST TIME TRIAL GOT A 1.71 60 FT, AND RAN 12.83 AT 99MPH. I ONLY GOT THE ONE TIME TRIAL SO WENT INTO ELIMINATIONS WITH A 12.80 DIAL. I FIGURED THAT WOULD BE SUFFICIENT. RAN 12.71, 1.70 60FT AT 100.91MPH...AND I AM GETTING BETTER ON THE TRANSBRAKE I ONLY RED LIT BY .015 THIS TIME...NEEDLESS TO SAY I LOST. SO THE CAR IS NOW RUNNING LIKE A BAD DAY AT LACR! WE HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE IT TO R&E RACING AND PUT IT ON THE DYNO. SEE WHAT HAPPENS THERE.
HERE’S SOME INTERESTING FACTS YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
('Honey, I'm home. What the..?!')
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The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life..quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm....)
Right-handed people live, an average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle. < /SPAN>
In other words, send it to everyone !
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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