DAILY CHRONICLE #27 VOL 10

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

 

NUMBER 27 VOL 10

 

MAY27TH 2008

 

WEATHER; COOL, RAIN, HIGH HUMIDITY, 65/76 DEGREES

 

WOW! IT WAS SO DARK WHEN I WOKE UP I THOUGHT IT WAS STILL 2-3:00 AM THEN I LOOKED AT THE PROJECTED TIME ON THE CEILING AND IT WAS 7:55 AM SO I DECIDED TO GET UP! IT WAS RAINING SO HARD I COULDN’T SEE THE NEIGHBORS HOUSE 50 FT. ACROSS THE YARD! IT RAINED TILL ABOUT 1:00 PM THEN IT STARTED TO CLEAR IN THE WEST AND NOW IT’S CLEAR!

 

MOM HAD TO GO TO THE BANK AND GET SOME THINGS AT THE STORE! I FELL ASLEEP WATCHING A MOVIE CALLED “REDLINE” SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT DRAG RACING, THESE PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING AT HIGH SPEEDS,  NO SAFETY BELTS OR HELMETS, I GUESS THE GIRLS WERE AFRAID OF MESSING UP THEIR HAIR AND THE GUYS ALSO! I CAN’T BELIEVE ANY INVESTOR WOULD BE A PART OF SOMETHING LIKE THIS, THERE ISN’T A LETTER IN THE ALPHABET LOW ENOUGH TO GIVE IT A RATING! BEAUTIFUL CARS AND HOOKERS BUT DIRECTION AND STORYLINE WAS PURE UNADULTERATED CRAP! MY PERSONAL OPINION, DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME!

 

DODGE CITY

A COWBOY HAD BEEN IN THE SALOON FOR A LONG TIME AND DECIDED THAT IT WAS TIME, ONCE AGAIN TO HEAD FOR THE HILLS. HE WALKED THROUGH THE SWING DOORS AND IMMEDIATELY NOTICED THAT HIS HORSE HAD DISAPPEARED FROM THE RAIL.

"OK" HE SAID, RE-ENTERING THE CROWDED BAR "I,M GONNA HAVE ONE MORE DRINK AND IF MY HORSE AIN'T BACK BY THEN, THE SAME THING WILL HAPPEN HERE THAT HAPPENED IN DODGE CITY."

WITH THAT SEVERAL OF THE COWBOYS RAN OUT OF THE SALOON AND WITHIN MINUTES ONE HAD RETURNED TO TELL HIM THAT THEY'D FOUND HIS HORSE FOR HIM. AS HE TURNED TO LEAVE THE BARTENDER STOPPED HIM.

"EXCUSE ME STRANGER" HE SAID, "BUT WHAT HAPPENED IN DODGE CITY?"

THE COWBOY REPLIED: "I HAD TO WALK HOME!"

SHEEP SENSE

MAN WALKING ALONG A ROAD IN THE COUNTRYSIDE COMES ACROSS A SHEPHERD AND A HUGE FLOCK OF SHEEP. TELLS THE SHEPHERD, "I WILL BET YOU $100 AGAINST ONE OF YOUR SHEEP THAT I CAN TELL YOU THE EXACT NUMBER IN THIS FLOCK."

THE SHEPHERD THINKS IT OVER; IT'S A BIG FLOCK SO HE TAKES THE BET. "973" SAYS THE MAN.

THE SHEPHERD IS ASTONISHED, BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY RIGHT. SAYS, "OK, I'M A MAN OF MY WORD, TAKE AN ANIMAL."

MAN PICKS ONE UP AND BEGINS TO WALK AWAY.

"WAIT," CRIES THE SHEPHERD, "LET ME HAVE A CHANCE TO GET EVEN DOUBLE OR NOTHING THAT I CAN GUESS YOUR EXACT OCCUPATION."  MAN SAYS, "SURE!

YOU ARE AN ECONOMIST FOR A GOVERNMENT THINK TANK," SAYS THE SHEPHERD.

"AMAZING"  RESPONDS THE MAN, "YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT! BUT TELL ME, HOW DID YOU DEDUCE THAT?"

"WELL," SAYS THE SHEPHERD, "PUT DOWN MY DOG AND I WILL TELL YOU."

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

 

HOWARD