HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 14 VOL 11
JUNE 14TH 2008
WEATHER; HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 73/96 DEGREES
WELL, IT’S BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD, THE RADIATOR I TRIED TO FIX ON THE INTREPID STILL LEAKS, NOT BAD JUST A LITTLE! THE NEXT STEP IS TO USE A SOLDERING GUN AND AN OLD TOOTH BRUSH HANDLE AND TRY TO WELD THE PLACE IT LEAKS FROM! I’VE DONE THIS BEFORE ON A BROKEN PLASTIC FAN BLADE! OR LIKE MOM SUGGESTED WE CAN TRY ‘HOT GLUE’, WE’LL TRY ANYTHING TO KEEP FROM BUYING A NEW RADIATOR!
ALSO, WE TOOK THE INTREPID TO CHURCH TONIGHT AND IT STILL LOSES POWER ON A SLIGHT INCLINE, IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A HILL! I HAVE TO KEEP GOING INTO PASSING GEAR TO GET IT UP TO SPEED!
I’VE REALLY BEEN GIVING THIS SITUATION SOME THOUGHT AND I CAN’T REMEMBER THIS CONDITION WITH THE OTHER TRANSMISSIONS, THE ORIGINAL ONE WOULDN’T PULL IN FORWARD AFTER IT GOT HOT THE NEXT ONE WE PUT IN WOULD ONLY PULL IN LOW OR REVERSE! NEITHER ONE OF THEM LOST POWER ON A SLIGHT INCLINE SO I’VE COME DOWN TO SOMETHING ON OR IN THE TRANSMISSION!
WHEN RUNNING IN OVERDRIVE IT DOESN’T SHIFT INTO OVERDRIVE UNLESS I PLAY WITH THE THROTTLE! THIS COULD BE THE ‘SPEED SENSOR’ THAT’S ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE TRANSMISSION! IT’S POSSIBLE WE KNOCKED THE WIRE OFF WHILE PUTTING THE TRANSMISSION IN OR BROKE THE SENSOR ITSELF! IT TELLS THE PCM WHEN TO MAKE THE TRANSMISSION SHIFT AND HELPS KEEP THE SPEED LEVEL WHILE RUNNING UP OR DOWN HILLS!
BECAUSE OF ALL THE PASSING GEAR AND OTHER PROBLEMS THE MPG IS ABOUT 10 AS CLOSE AS I CAN FIGURE SO WE’RE GOING TO KEEP DRIVING THE ACCLAIM TILL THE INTREPID IS RIGHT!
I’M GOING TO ASK TIM AND KELLY TO TAKE THE CAR OUT AND DRIVE IT TO SHERMAN OR DURANT AND SEE HOW IT ACTS! BUT FIRST I’M GOING TO ASK ONE OF THEM TO SEE IF THE WIRE IS OFF THE SPEED SENSOR OR THE SENOR IS BROKEN! I MAY ASK THEM TO REMOVE THE SENSOR TO SEE IF ITS GUMMED UP INSIDE! IT’S JUST ABOUT GOT TO BE IN OR ON THE TRANSMISSION!
WE HAVE A DRB II ANALYZER THAT WE’LL PLUG IN TO THE ELECTRONICS TO CHECK ALL SYSTEMS!
TIM, ELYSE AND THE KIDS WILL BE HERE FOR THE ‘POT LUCK’ WERE HAVING FOR FATHERS DAY! THE OTHER TIMES WE HAD A DOINGS KELLY /TIM ENDED UP DOING ALL THE COOKING ON THE GRILL! THIS TIME THEY CAN SIT AROUND AND VISIT WHICH IS HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE!
AN RCMP OFFICER
AN RCMP OFFICER STOPS A DRIVER FOR RUNNING A RED LIGHT THE GUY IS A REAL JERK AND COMES RUNNING BACK TO THE OFFICER DEMANDING TO KNOW WHY HE IS
BEING HARASSED BY THE GESTAPO! SO THE OFFICER CALMLY TELLS HIM OF THE
RED LIGHT VIOLATION. THE 'MOTORIST' INSTANTLY GOES ON A TIRADE,
QUESTIONING THE OFFICER'S ANCESTRY, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, ETC., IN RATHER EXPLICIT TERMS.
THE TIRADE GOES ON WITHOUT THE OFFICER SAYING ANYTHING.
WHEN HE GETS DONE WITH WRITING THE TICKET HE PUTS AN 'AH' IN THE LOWER
RIGHT CORNER OF THE NARRATIVE PORTION OF THE TICKET.
HE THEN HANDS IT TO THE 'VIOLATOR' FOR HIS SIGNATURE. THE GUY SIGNS
THE TICKET ANGRILY, AND WHEN PRESENTED WITH HIS COPY POINTS TO
THE 'AH' AND DEMANDS TO KNOW WHAT IT STANDS FOR.
THE MOUNTIE SAYS, 'THAT'S SO WHEN WE GO TO COURT, I'LL REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!'
TWO MONTHS LATER THEY'RE IN COURT. THE 'VIOLATOR' HAS SUCH A BAD DRIVING RECORD HE IS ABOUT TO LOSE HIS LICENCE AND HAS HIRED A LAWYER TO REPRESENT HIM. ON THE STAND THE OFFICER TESTIFIES TO SEEING THE MAN
RUN THE RED LIGHT. UNDER CROSS EXAMINATION THE DEFENCE ATTORNEY ASKS; 'OFFICER IS THIS A REASONABLE FACSIMILE OF THE TICKET YOU ISSUED MY CLIENT?'
OFFICER RESPONDS, 'YES SIR, THAT IS THE DEFENDANTS COPY, HIS SIGNATURE AND MINE, SAME NUMBER AT THE TOP.
LAWYER: 'OFFICER, IS THERE ANY PARTICULAR MARKING OR NOTATION ON THIS TICKET YOU DON'T NORMALLY MAKE?'
OFFICER: 'YES SIR, IN THE LOWER RIGHT CORNER OF THE NARRATIVE THERE IS
AN 'AH,' UNDERLINED.'
LAWYER: 'WHAT DOES THE AH STAND FOR, OFFICER?'
OFFICER: 'AGGRESSIVE AND HOSTILE SIR.'
LAWYER: 'AGGRESSIVE AND HOSTILE?'
OFFICER: 'YES SIR?
LAWYER: 'OFFICER, ARE YOU SURE IT DOESN'T STAND FOR ASSHOLE?'
OFFICER: 'WELL SIR, YOU KNOW YOUR CLIENT BETTER THAN I DO!
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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