HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 19 VOL 11
JUNE 19TH 2008
WEATHER; WARM, HIGH HUMIDITY, 64/96 DEGREES
MOM AND I WERE SETTING WATCHING TV LAST NIGHT WHEN SHE HEARD SOMETHING OUTSIDE AND WENT TO CHECK IT OUT, IT WAS THE DOGS FROM THE HOUSE UP FRONT AND WHEN SHE YELLED AT THEM THEY RAN FROM UNDER THE HOUSE THROUGH AN OPENING IN THE UNDER PINNING THAT’S UNDER THE PHONE BOX ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE JERKING THE MAIN WIRE TO OUR PHONE OUT OF HE BOX BUT, WE DIDN’T KNOW IT TILL THE NEXT MORNING! I NOTICED THE RED “IN USE” LIGHT BLINKING BUT FIGURED GLENDA WAS ON THE PHONE SO I IGNORED IT BUT, JUST BEFORE I WENT IN TO DO MY “CHRONICLE”, ABOUT 11”30 PM I NOTICD THE LIGHT WAS STILL BLINKING SO I PICKED UP THE RECEIVER AND THE PHONE WAS DEAD! THIS MORNING MOM WENT DOWN TO HAVE COFFEE AND HELP GLENDA CLEAN UP SOME OLD THINGS SO THEY CAN TEAR DOWN THE TWO OLD TRAILERS! WHEN SHE GOT BACK UP HERE I TOLD HER THE PHONE WAS OUT SO SHE CALLED THE PHONE CO. AND REPORTED IT THEN WENT OUT TO CHECK THE BOX AND FOUND THAT THE DOGS HAD RIPPED THE WIRES OUT OF THE BOX ! THE PHONE MAN GOT HERE AND REPLACED THE WIRES AND STAPLED THE WIRE OUT OF THE WAY SO IT COULDN’T HAPPEN AGAIN SO WE’RE BACK IN BUSINESS!
I’VE BEEN ON LINE TO FIND A RADIATOR FOR THE INTREPID AND FOUND QUITE A FEW DEALERS, THE CHEAPEST ONE IS FOR $112.80 INCLUDES S&H AND TAX! I’VE DECIDEDTO HOLD OFF TILL WE ARE SURE THE ENGINE IS RUNNING THE WAY IT SHOULD AND THAT THE PROBLEM ISN’T IN THE TRANSMISSION! I’M GOING TO DO SOME MORE TESTING OF MY OWN TO BESURE WE’RE NOT LOSING VACUMM WHILE DRIVING! THE WIRES THAT ARE STICKING OUT FROM UNDER THE INTAKE ARE UNDER THE INTAKE GASKET AND COULD BE CAUSING A SLIGHT VACUMM LEAK! TOMORROW I’LL CRANK UP THE ENGINE AND WITH THE VACUMM GUAGE PLUGGED IN I’LL SQUIRT WD-40 OR 30 WT ENGINE OIL AT THE POINT THE WIRES COME OUT FROM UNDER THE INTAKE, IF THERE’S A LEAK THE VACUMM AND RPM SHOULD INCREASE FROM 17 INCHES AND 750 RPM! IF IT DOES IT MEANS THE INTAKE MUST BE PULLED AND THE GASKET REPLACED AND THEN WE’LL ROAD TEST TO SEE IF WE’VE FINALLY FOUND THE PROBLEM! AT THE SAME TIME WE CAN CHECK AND SEE WHERE THE “AIR TEMPERATURE SENSOR” IS AND BE SURE THE WIRES STICKING OUT AREN’T FOR IT! ACTUALLY, ONE WAY OR AN OTHER THE INTAKE NEEDS TO BE PULLED! IF KELLY DOESN’T GET THE STRUTS AND SHOCKS CHANGED TIM SAID IF WE CAN DRIVE THE CAR DOWN TO HIM HE’LL DO IT IN HIS GARAGE BUT, RIGHT NOW THE PLUMBERS HAVE HIS HOUSE TORE UP FIXING THE LEAKS UNDER THE FLOORS!
COMPUTER PROFESSOR HUSBAND
HUSBAND: HI DEAR. I'M LOGGED IN
WIFE: HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE GROCERIES?
HUSBAND: BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME
WIFE: BUT I TOLD YOU IN THE MORNING ?
HUSBAND: ERRONEOUS SYNTAX. ABORT, RETRY, CANCEL?
WIFE: WHAT ABOUT MY NEW TV ?
HUSBAND: VARIABLE NOT FOUND
WIFE: AT LEAST, GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD. I NEED TO DO SOME SHOPPING
HUSBAND: SHARING VIOLATION. ACCESS DENIED
WIFE: IT WAS A GREAT MISTAKE THAT I MARRIED AN IDIOT LIKE YOU
HUSBAND: DATA TYPE MISMATCH
WIFE: YOU ARE USELESS
HUSBAND: BY DEFAULT
WIFE: WHAT ABOUT YOUR SALARY ?
HUSBAND: FILE IN USE. TRY AFTER SOME TIME
WIFE: WHO WAS IN THE CAR THIS MORNING ?
HUSBAND: SYSTEM IS UNSTABLE. PRESS ALT + CTRL + DEL TO REBOOT
WIFE: ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE SOME SNACKS ?
HUSBAND: FILE SYSTEM FULL
WIFE: WHAT IS THE RELATION BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR RECEPTIONIST ?
HUSBAND: ONLY USER WITH WRITE PERMISSION
WIFE: WHAT IS MY VALUE IN THIS FAMILY ?
HUSBAND: UNKNOWN VIRUS
WIFE: DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOUR COMPUTER OR YOU'RE BEING JUST FUNNY ?
HUSBAND: TOO MANY PARAMETERS!
WIFE: I WILL GO TO MY DAD'S HOUSE.
HUSBAND: THIS PROGRAM HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION AND WILL BE TERMINATED
WIFE: I'LL LEAVE YOU FOREVER
HUSBAND: CLOSE ALL PROGRAMS AND LOGOUT AND THEN LOGIN AS ANOTHER USER
WIFE: IT'S WORTHLESS TALKING TO YOU
HUSBAND: SHUTDOWN THE COMPUTER
WIFE: I'M GOING
HUSBAND: IT'S NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER!
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
No comments:
Post a Comment