DAILY CHRONICLE #20 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 20 VOL 11

JUNE 20^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, LOW HUMIDITY, 72/88 DEGREES

 

WE HAVE A LITTLE TRACTOR SPRINKLER THAT TRAVELS WHERE EVER WE LINE THE HOSE UP, IT HAS A FRONT WHEEL THAT STRADDLES THE HOSE AND TWO BIG REAR WHEELS WITH SPIKES THAT PROPELL IT! THERE ARE TWO WANDS THAT SPIN BY WATER PRESSURE AND CAN WATER A 50 FOOT AREA DEPENDIN ON HOW THEY’RE SET AS THE TRACTOR MOVES ALONG THE HOSE! THE BOTTOM GOT RIPPED OFF THE MOTOR ASSEMBLY AND THE AUTO STOP PIECE GOT BROKE ALSO! SO WE GOT ON THE INTERNET AND ORDERED THE MOTOR ASSEMBLY AND THE AUTO STOP PIECE! THE PARTS CAME IN YESTERDAY AND MOM AND I PUT IT TOGETHER TODAY! WE’LL GET A NEW 110 FOOT 5/8^TH HOSE TOMORROW AND START WATERING THE LAWN AND SHRUBS WITH IT! I LIKE TO SET AND WATCH IT MOVE IT HAS TWO SPEEDS, FAST AND SLOW, IF THE LAWN AND PLANTS ARE PRETTY DRY I RUN IT SLOW OR FAST IF THEY’RE DAMP!

 

IN 1990 I SUBSCRIBED TO “WORLD WAR II” MAGAZINE, I’VE GOT EVERY COPY FOR THE LAST 18 YEARS! THEY WERE DOWN AT KELLYS AND MOM BROUGHT THE LAST OF THEM UP FOR ME TO PUT IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER AND GET THEM READY TO SELL! I’VE READ ALL BUT 2-3 OF THEM AND REALLY DON’T SEE ANY NEED TO BE KEEPING THEM! I’M THINKING ABOUT PUTTING THEM ON “CRAIGS LIST and E-BAY”! WE ALSO HAVE A LOCAL PLACE YOU CAN ADVERTIZE ANYHING ON FREE, I’LL PUT THEM ON THERE TOO! EVERY STORY IN THESE MAGAZINES IS A TRUE STORY, NO FICTION! THEY CHECK OUT ALL STORIES SUBMITTED TO THEM BEFORE PUTTING THEM IN PRINT! I SUBMITTED A STORY TO THEM THAT WAS FICTION BASED ON FACT AND THEY TURNED IT DOWN! THEY COVER ALL BRANCHES OF THE U.S. MILITARY, BRITISH MILITARY, CANADIAN MILITARY, RUSSIAN MILITARY, GERMAN MILITARY, ITALIAN MILITARY AND JAPANESE MILITARY! THEY’VE HAD ARTICLES ABOUT THE PARTISANS AND NORWEIGAN FREEDOM FIGHTERS AND MEXICAN MILITARY! IF IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THE WARS OR CONFLICTS AROUND THE WORLD FROM THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR TO IRAQ IT’LL SHOW UP IN “WORLD WAR II” MAGAZINE! BECAUSE IT’S BASED ON TRUE HAPPENINGS IT MAKES GOOD RESEARCH MATERIAL! ONE OF MY GRANDDAUGHTERS USED SOME OF THEM TO DO A REPORT ON THE “BATAAN DEATH MARCH”, SHE SAID SHE GOT AN ‘A’ ON IT!

 

HERE’S A COUPLE OF MORE FROM ACRAMAX

 

FAIRY TALE TAXES

THE TAX ADVISOR HAD JUST READ THE STORY OF CINDERELLA TO HIS FOUR-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER FOR THE FIRST TIME.

THE LITTLE GIRL WAS FASCINATED BY THE STORY, ESPECIALLY THE PART WHERE THE PUMPKIN TURNS INTO A GOLDEN COACH.

SUDDENLY SHE PIPED UP, "DADDY, WHEN THE PUMPKIN TURNED INTO A GOLDEN COACH, WOULD THAT BE CLASSED AS INCOME OR A LONG-TERM CAPITAL GAIN?"

 

ONE CHAIR

RESOLVING TO SURPRISE HER HUSBAND, AN EXECUTIVE'S WIFE STOPPED BY HIS OFFICE. SHE FOUND HIM WITH HIS SECRETARY SITTING IN HIS LAP.

WITHOUT HESITATING, HE DICTATED, "...AND IN CONCLUSION, GENTLEMEN, SHORTAGE OR NO SHORTAGE, I CANNOT CONTINUE TO OPERATE THIS OFFICE WITH JUST ONE CHAIR."

THAT’S “30”FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD