DAILY CHRONICLE #28 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 28 VOL 11

JUNE 28^TH 2008

WEATHER; WARM, HIGH HUMIDITY, 73/96 DEGREES

 

I PUMPED THE COOLING SYSTEM IN THE INTREPID UP TO 17 LBS AND LEFT IT FOR 15 MINUTES, WHEN I RETURNED IT WAS STILL HOLDING 17 LBS I NOW KNOW THAT THE J.B. WELD STICK WORKS AND HAS LIVED UP TO IT’S REPUTATION, “IT WILL FIX ANYTHING!”

THEN I TRIED TO PUMP UP THE RADIATOR CAP AND IT WOULDN’T EVEN START TO BUILD PRESSURE SO I PUT THE NEW CAP I HAD ON!

KELLY HAD TO WORK ON THE A/C ON THE ACCLAIM AGAIN, IT LOST ALL THE FREON! HE FOUND A LOSE SCHRADER VALVE IN THE HIGH SIDE ADAPTER WE PUT ON WHEN WE CONVERTED TO 134A SO HE CHANGED THAT AND PULLED A VACUMM ON THE SYSTEM, IT HELD  30 INCHES OF VACUMM FOR 30 MINUTES SO HE PUT MORE FREON IN AND RAN IT CHECKING FOR FREON WITH THE ELECTRONIC DETECTOR WE HAVE AND FOUND NONE! WE’LL KNOW IN THE MORNING!

WE HAD A BIG PILE OF BRUSH AND TREE TRIMMINGS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE YARD, MOM AND KELLY SET IT ON FIRE AND IT BURNED DOWN TO THE GROUND! I THINK THAT’S WHERE KELLY IS GOING TO BUILD A BURN PIT USING CONCRETE BLOCKS WE HAVE! WE ALSO HAVE A PILE OF USED RED BRICK THAT HE COULD USE! I THINK THE CONCRETE BLOCK WOULD BE BETTER BUT IF HE USES THEM HE’LL HAVE TO PUT A COAT OF FIRE PLACE PLASTER ON THE INSIDE!

 

RUBBER BALL SPECS

A MATHMATICIAN, A PHYSICIST, AND AN ENGINEER WERE ALL GIVEN A RED RUBBER BALL AND TOLD TO FIND THE VOLUME.

THE MATHMATICIAN CAREFULLY MEASURED THE DIAMETER AND EVALUATED A TRIPLE INTEGRAL.

THE PHYSICIST FILLED A BEAKER WITH WATER, PUT THE BALL IN THE WATER, AND MEASURED THE TOTAL DISPLACEMENT.

THE ENGINEER LOOKED UP THE MODEL AND SERIAL NUMBERS IN HIS RED-RUBBER-BALL TABLE.

 

CHEMIST SPEAK

A CHEMIST WALKS INTO A PHARMACY AND ASKS THE PHARMACIST, "DO YOU HAVE ANY ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID?"

"YOU MEAN ASPIRIN?" ASKED THE PHARMACIST.

"THAT'S IT, I CAN NEVER REMEMBER THAT WORD."

 

SHAPING UP FOR A GOOD EXCUSE

THIS POLICEMAN PULLED A CAR OVER AND TOLD THE MAN DRIVING THAT HE WAS GOING 50 MPH IN A 40 MPH ZONE.

"I WAS ONLY GOING 40!" THE DRIVER PROTESTED.

"NOT ACCORDING TO MY RADAR," THE OFFICER REPLIED.

"YES, I WAS!" THE MAN SHOUTED BACK.

"NO YOU WEREN'T!" THE POLICEMAN SAID, STARTING TO GET ANNOYED. WITH THAT, THE MAN'S WIFE LEANED TOWARD THE WINDOW AND SAID,

"OFFICER, I SHOULD WARN YOU NOT TO ARGUE WITH MY HUSBAND WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING."

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

 

HOWARD