DAILY CHRONICLE #26 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NMUBER 26 VOL 11

JUNE 26^TH 2008

WEATHER; HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 74/97 DEGREES

 

I FINALLY WENT OUT AND USED THE DREMAL WITH A SANDING DRUM ON IT TO ROUGHEN UP THE PLACE THE INTREPID RADIATOR HAS BEEN LEAKING THEN, I PINCHED OFF A PIECE OF THE J.B.WELD STICK EPOXY AND KNEEDED IT TO AN EVEN COLOR AND PUT IT ON THE PLACE THAT LEAKED! IT SAYS IT WILL BE CURED ENOUGH IN 1 HOUR TO SAND, DRILL, GRIND OR FILE BUT THE COMPLETE CURING WILL BE IN 24 HOURS SO I’M WAITING THE 24 HOURS BEFORE I PUT WATER IN THE RADIATOR AND START THE ENGINE TO GET IT CIRCULATED AND WARMED UP! THEN, WE’LL SEE WHAT TAKES PLACE!

 

I CONTACTED A WEBSITE THAT HAS 13 DODGE EXPERT MECHANICS ON THE STAFF BUT THEY WANT UP TO $30.00 TO TELL ME WHERE TO FIND THE MAF SENSOR ON THE INTREPIDS INTAKE MANIFOLD! THE MANUAL SHOWS WHERE IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE BUT IT ISN’T THERE! I FILLED OUT A REQUEST FOR INFORMATION FORM FOR CHRYSLER AND IN THE MORNING I HAVE TO PUT THE VIN # ON THE FORM AND SEND IT! THERE’S NO CHARGE FOR THIS INFORMATION FROM CHRYSLER!

 

IT’S POSSIBLE EVEN THOUGH THE MAF SENSOR SHOWS IN THE MANUAL THERE ISN’T ONE ON THIS CAR! ON THE FORM I’M SENDING TO CHRYSLER I’VE ALSO TOLD THEM WHAT THE PROBLEM IS AND I’M ASKING THEM FOR A SOLUTION!

 

FASCINATE

A TEACHER ASKS HER CLASS IF ANYONE CAN USE THE WORD FASCINATE IN A SENTENCE. BRIAN RAISES HIS HAND AND SAYS, "THE SKY IS FASCINATING."

THE TEACHER SAYS, "NO THAT'S FASCINATING."

JENNIFER RAISES HER HAND AND SAYS, "WHEN I SAW THE TIGERS AT THE ZOO I WAS FASCINATED."

THE TEACHER SAYS, "NO THAT'S FASCINATED."

SO FINALLY LITTLE JOHNNY RAISES HIS HAND AND SAYS, "MY MOM BOUGHT A NEW BLOUSE WITH 12 PEARL BUTTONS, BUT HER CHEST'S SO BIG SHE COULD ONLY FASTEN EIGHT!"

 

ARRIVING LATE

A CERTAIN PROFESSOR ARRIVED LATE FOR A LECTURE TO FIND A MOST UNCOMPLIMENTARY DRAWING OF HIMSELF ON THE BLACKBOARD.

FUMING, HE ASKED THE CLASS JOKER IN THE FRONT ROW, "WHO, PRAY, WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ATROCITY?"

THE JOKER WON TREMENDOUS PRESTIGE WITH HIS REPLY, "I REALLY DON'T KNOW, BUT I STRONGLY SUSPECT ITS PARENTS."

 

MAKING A DEAL

AFTER GOD HAD CREATED ADAM HE NOTICED THAT HE LOOKED VERY LONELY. HE DECIDED TO HELP.

HE SAID, "ADAM, I'VE DECIDED TO MAKE YOU A WOMAN. SHE'LL LOVE YOU, COOK FOR YOU, BE SWEET TO YOU, AND UNDERSTAND YOU."

ADAM SAID "GREAT! HOW MUCH WILL SHE COST ME?"

THE ANSWER CAME BACK, "AN ARM AND A LEG."

"WELL," SAID ADAM "WHAT CAN I GET FOR A RIB?"

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD