HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 7 VOL 11
JUNE 7TH 2008
WEATHER; HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 72/92 DEGREES
MOM WENT TO 8:00 AM MASS, I JUST DIDN’T THINK I COULD MAKE IT SO I STAYED HOME AND WATCHED IT AT THE NOTRE DAME BASSICALA! IT’S THE SAME MASS AS THE ONE SAID AT ST. MARY’S ONLY AT A DIFFERENT LOCATION! SHE TOOK THE ACCLAIM BUT AFTER SHE GOT HOME KELLY CHANGED THE TPS AND SHE TOOK THE INTREPID TO THE STORE TO ROAD TEST IT!
WHEN SHE GOT HOME I ASKED HER IF THE CAR ACTED UP AND SHE SAID NOT IN THE SAME WAY, THE OTHER CONDITION WENT AWAY BUT NOW IT LOSES POWER ON A HILL, THE ONE ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF THE DAM, IT’S A 15% GRADE! SHE JUST TOOK IT OUT OF “CRUISE” AND ACCELERATED! WE DID THE KEY CODE CHECK AND IT STILL SAYS; “OPEN OR SHORT IN THE A/C CLUTCH RELAY CIRCUIT!” THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK TO DO IS TO CHANGE THE RELAY AND SEE WHAT EFFECT THAT HAS ON THE PROBLEM WHICH I’LL DO TOMORROW! ANOTHER THOUGHT I HAD WAS THE “SPEED SENSOR” THAT’S IN THE TRANSMISSION HOUSING! IT SENDS A SIGNAL TO THE PCM TO INCREASE THE THROTTLE POSITION AND ADD MORE FUEL OR SHIFT THE TRANSMISSION OUT OF OVERDRIVE INTO ANOTHER GEAR BUT NOT PASSING GEAR!
I THINK IF WE GET THIS ONE CORRECTED THAT SHOULD TAKE CARE OF ALL THE PROBLEMS THAT ACCUMULATED WHILE THE CAR WAS LAID UP! OF COURSE THE SPEED SENSOR IS IN THE TRANSMISSION WE PUT IN SO IF THAT DOESN’T CURE IT WE’LL TRY CHANGING THE PCM (POWER CONTROL MODULE)!
SINCE EVERYTHING ON THE TUBE NOW ARE RERUNS WE HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF M.A.S.H., MAGNUM P.I., MISSION IMPOSSIBLE ( THE ORIGINAL SERIES), SIMON & SIMON, HAPPY DAYS, HOGANS HEROES AND A FEW OF THE OLDER MOVIES TO WATCH! OF COURSE WE TRY NOT TO MISS WHEEL OF FOUTUNE! MOM HAS HER “HGTV” AND CARROL DUVALL CRAFT SHOW AND OTHER SPECIAL SHOWS! THESE ALL KEEP RECORDING NEW/OLD EPISODES, SOME WE’VE SEEN AND SOME WE HAVEN’T! THEN WE HAVE DVDs THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN OPENED! SO, YOU CAN SEE WE CAN PRETTY MUCH TAKE CARE OF OUR TV TIME! I WATCH THE DIY SHOWS WITH MOM ALONG WITH SPECIAL SHOWINGS OF “COOL TOOLS”!
HERE’S A FEW SHORT STORIES SOME OF YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO RELATE TO!
BURST PIPE
A PIPE BURST IN A DOCTOR'S HOUSE. HE CALLED A PLUMBER. THE PLUMBER ARRIVED, UNPACKED HIS TOOLS, DID MYSTERIOUS PLUMBER-TYPE THINGS FOR A WHILE, AND HANDED THE DOCTOR A BILL FOR $600.
THE DOCTOR EXCLAIMED, "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I DON'T EVEN MAKE THAT MUCH AS A DOCTOR!"
THE PLUMBER WAITED FOR HIM TO FINISH AND QUIETLY SAID, "NEITHER DID I WHEN I WAS A DOCTOR."
HEALTH CLUB
SOME MEMBERS OF A HEALTH CLUB WERE HAVING THEIR FIRST MEETING. THE DIRECTOR OF THE GROUP SAID, "NOW, I'D LIKE EACH OF YOU TO GIVE THE FACTS OF YOUR DAILY ROUTINE."
SEVERAL PEOPLE SPOKE, ADMITTING THEIR EXCESSES, AND THEN ONE OBVIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT MEMBERS SAID, "I EAT MODERATELY, I DRINK MODERATELY, AND I EXERCISE FREQUENTLY."
"HMM?" SAID THE MANAGER "AND ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVING NOTHING ELSE TO ADD?"
"WELL, YES," SAID THE MEMBER. "I LIE EXTENSIVELY."
OLD FAMILY PHYSICIAN
THE OLD FAMILY PHYSICIAN BEING AWAY ON VACATION, ENTRUSTED HIS PRACTICE TO HIS SON - A RECENT MEDICAL STUDENT. WHEN THE OLD MAN RETURNED, THE YOUNGSTER TOLD HIM AMONG OTHER THINGS, THAT HE CURED MISS FERGUSON, AN AGED AND WEALTHY SPINSTER, OF HER CHRONIC INDIGESTION.
"MY BOY," SAID THE OLD DOCTOR, "I'M PROUD OF YOU, BUT MISS FERGUSON'S INDIGESTION IS WHAT PUT YOU THROUGH COLLEGE."
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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