HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 31 VOL 10
MAY 31ST 2008
WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 70/90 DEGREES
WE TOOK THE INTREPID TO GO TO MASS TODAY, WE PICKED UP CHARLEEN LATINIS AND WERE HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THE CAR!
I THOUGHT THE FUEL PRESSURE REGULATOR FIXED IT BUT WAS I WRONG! WHEN I TRY TO SET THE CRUISE AT 65 MPH IT DOES FINE FOR ABOUT 1 MILE THEN IT STARTS SLOWING DOWN AND I HAVE TO ALMOST FLOOR BOARD IT TO PICK BACK UP TO 65!
WHEN I GOT HOME I RAN THE KEY CODES AND GOT A 33 WHICH I’VE NEVER HAD BEFORE! I CHECKED THE BOOK AND IT SAID WE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE A/C CLUTCH CIRCUIT! I’LL CHECK THAT OUT TOMORROW ALSO AND SEE IF I CAN TAKE CARE OF IT? IF I CAN’T I’LL HAVE TO CALL MIKE TO COME AND CHECK IT OUT, I NEED HIM TO SERVICE THE A/C ANYHOW. THAT COULD BE THE PROBLEM, LOW ON FREON AND BUILDING HEAD PRESSURE PUTTING A HEAVY DRAG ON THE ENGINE! I HOPE IT’S NOTHING SERIOUS!
I GOT A LITTLE OVER HEATED AT MASS AND WASN’T FEELING TO GOOD SO I CAME HOME AND MOM AND CHARLEEN TOOK THE ACCLAIM TO DINNER THEN MOM TOOK CHARLEEN HOME!
MOM GOT HOME AND TOLD ME SHE ALMOST DIDN’T GET THE ACCLAIM STARTED WHEN THEY STARTED HOME AFTER EATING! SHE GOT OUT AND SHOOK THE BATTERY CABLES AND IT STARTED! I KNOW WHAT’S WRONG AND WILL FIX IT TOMORROW WE CAN’T HAVE BOTH CARS DOWN!
KELLY AND GLENDA HAVE STARTED A NEW BUSINESS, HERE’S THE INFORMATION;
FROM: GLENDA <LADYINRED750202002@YAHOO.COM>
SUBJECT: WELCOME TO OUR SITE!
WELCOME FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS TO OUR NEW ONLINE STORE! VISIT US AND START ENJOYING YOUR SAVINGS. ENTER COUPON CODE FTB2009 AND SAVE ON YOUR TOTAL. WE OFFER MANY ITEMS TO CHOOSE FROM, SO YOU CAN FIND SOMETHING FOR ALMOST ANYONE, YOUNG OR OLD. PRODUCTS ARE DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOU SO THERE IS NO DELAY IN SHIPPING. LOG IN OFTEN TO CHECK OUT OUR SPECIALS AND NEW PRODUCTS. YOUR INFORMATION IS SECURE WITH US AND WE HAVE NO ADWARE. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR LOG ON NOW TO WWW.AMBROSIAHOUSEOFGIFTS.COM FOR A GREAT SHOPPING EXPERIENCE.
THANKS FOR VISITING US!
I MADE AN ERROR LAST NIGHT WHEN I TOLD YOU TIM WAS GOING TO SCHOOL IN ARLINGTON VIRGINIA TO BE UP DATED IN COMPUTERS!
ACTUALLY HE HAS GONE TO A LITTLE TOWN OUTSIDE OF ARLINGTON TO DO THE UPDATING OF THE COMPUTERS IN THAT OFFICE OF “AMERICAN HEART ASSOCIATION!” FROM WHAT I’VE BEEN TOLD HE WAS SENT BY CORPORATE TO DO THIS BECAUSE OF HIS EXPERTISE WITH COMPUTERS AND THE SYSTEMS THEY USE!
HERE’S A FUNNY STORY (JOKE) SENT TO ME BY DICK IRVIN, COLLEEN’S FIANCE’;
THE ROBOT CADDIE
>>
>> A MAN GOES TO A PUBLIC GOLF COURSE.
>> HE APPROACHES THE MAN BEHIND THE COUNTER IN THE PRO SHOP AND SAYS, "I
>> WOULD LIKE 18 HOLES OF GOLF AND A CADDIE."
>> THE MAN BEHIND THE COUNTER SAYS, "THE 18 HOLES OF GOLF IS NO PROBLEM,
>> BUT ALL OF THE CADDIES ARE OUT ON THE COURSE. WHAT I WILL DO FOR YOU IS THIS:
>> WE JUST RECEIVED 8 BRAND NEW ROBOT GOLF CADDIES. IF YOU'RE WILLING TO
>> TAKE ONE WITH YOU OUT ON THE COURSE AND COME BACK AND TELL ME HOW
>> WELL IT WORKS, YOUR ROUND OF GOLF IS ON ME TODAY."
>> THE GOLFER OBVIOUSLY ACCEPTED THE MAN'S OFFER.
>> HE APPROACHED THE FIRST TEE, LOOKED AT THE FAIRWAY AND SAID TO
>> HIMSELF, "I THINK MY DRIVER WILL DO THE JOB."
>> THE ROBOT CADDIE TURNED TO THE MAN AND SAID, "NO SIR. USE YOUR 3
>> WOOD. A DRIVER IS FAR TOO MUCH CLUB FOR THIS HOLE."
>> HESITANTLY, THE GOLFER PULLED OUT HIS 3 WOOD, MADE GOOD CONTACT WITH
>> THE BALL, AND THE BALL LANDED ABOUT 10 FEET TO THE RIGHT FRONT OF THE
>> HOLE ON THE GREEN.
>> THE GOLFER, DELIGHTED, TURNED TO THE ROBOT AND THANKED HIM FOR HIS
>> ASSISTANCE.
>> AS THE GOLFER PULLED OUT HIS PUTTER HE SAID, "I THINK THIS GREEN IS
>> GONNA BREAK LEFT TO RIGHT."
>> THE ROBOT THEN AGAIN SPOKE UP AND SAID, "NO SIR. I DO BELIEVE THIS
>> GREEN WILL BREAK RIGHT TO LEFT"
>> THINKING ABOUT THE LAST TIME THE ROBOT CORRECTED HIS PREDICTION, HE
>> DECIDED AGAIN TO LISTEN TO THE MACHINE.
>> HE MADE HIS PUTT AND BIRDIED THE HOLE THANKS TO THE ROBOT AND HIS ADVICE.
>> BUT HIS LUCK DIDN'T END THERE. HIS ENTIRE GAME WAS THE BEST GAME HE
>> EVER PLAYED, THANKS TO THE ASSISTANCE OF THE NEW ROBOT GOLF CADDIE.
>> UPON RETURNING TO THE CLUBHOUSE, THE MAN BEHIND THE COUNTER ASKED,
>> "HOW WAS YOUR GAME ?" THE GOLFER STATED, "IT WAS, BY FAR, THE BEST
>> GAME I EVER PLAYED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TAKE ONE OF YOUR ROBOTS.
>> SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
>> A WEEK PASSED, AND EXCITED, THE GOLFER RETURNED TO THE PRO SHOP.
>> UPON ENTERING, HE TURNED TO THE MAN BEHIND THE COUNTER AND SAID, "I
>> WOULD LIKE 18 HOLES OF GOLF AND ONE OF THOSE ROBOT GOLF CADDIES, PLEASE."
>> THE GENTLEMAN FROM BEHIND THE COUNTER TURNED TO THE MAN AND SAID,
>> "WELL THE 18 HOLES IS NO PROBLEM. HOWEVER, WE HAD TO GET RID OF THE
>> ROBOTS WE HAD TOO MANY COMPLAINTS."
>> CONFUSED, THE GOLFER CRIED, "COMPLAINTS? WHO IN THE HECK COULD'VE
>> COMPLAINED ABOUT THOSE ROBOTS? THEY WERE INCREDIBLE"
>> THE MAN SIGHED AND SAID, "WELL, IT WASN'T THEIR PERFORMANCE.
>> IT WAS THAT THEY WERE MADE OF SHINY SILVER METAL, AND THE SUN
>> REFLECTING OFF THEM WAS BLINDING TO OTHER GOLFERS ON THE FAIR WAY. "
>> THE GOLFER SAID, "SO THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PAINT THEM BLACK?"
>> THE MAN NODDED SADLY AND REPLIED, "WE DID. THEN FOUR OF 'EM DIDN'T
>> SHOW UP FOR WORK, TWO FILED FOR WELFARE, ONE OF THEM ROBBED THE PRO
>> SHOP, AND THE OTHER IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT."
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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