HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 16 VOL 11
JUNE 16TH 2008
WEATHER; HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 70/96 DEGREES
WE DECIDED TO REPLACE THE RADIATOR IN THE INTREPID WITH ONE FROM R&D IN DURANT, $50.00 IS ABOUT 1/3RD THE COST OF A NEW ONE! THEY HAVE A TEST TANK FOR TESTING RADIATORS SO I TOLD THEM TO GO AHEAD AND PULL ONE FOR ME!
WE’VE LOOKED FOR THE AIR TEMPERATURE SENSOR AND HAVEN’T FOUND IT YET, IT MUST BE UNDR THE PLENUM COVER MOM AND I WENT OUT AND TRIED TO CLEAN THE TWO WIRES THAT ARE STICKING OUT FROM UNDER THE INTAKE MANIFOLD BUT THE STUFF IS BURNED ON COVERING UP THE COLORS SO WE’LL HAVE TO WAIT TILL KELLY OR TIM PULL THE INTAKE!
GLENDA HAD TO GO TO DFW AIRPORT AND PICK UP ANOTHER OF HER GRANDDAUGHTERS, SARAH WHO FLEW IN FOR THE SUMMER! NOW HALEY JO WILL HAVE SOMEBODY TO PLAY WITH!
I TALKED TO CHAR MILLIGAN AN OLD SCHOOL FRIEND OUT IN OXNARD SHORES, CALIFORNIA TODAY! I’M TRYING TO FIND OUT WHY HER FAX MACHINE QUIT TAKING FAXES! SHE KNOWS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT MACHINERY OF ANY KIND EXCEPT CARS, SHE DOES DRIVE! I TRIED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH A HEWLETT PACKARD DEALER IN OXNARD BUT EVIDENTLY THEY NEVER RECEIVED MY E-MAIL SO I’LL TRY TO SEND ANOTHER ONE! IF I CAN JUST GET SOMEONE TO SHOW HER HOW TO PUT PAPER IN IT THAT’S ALL SHE NEEDS TO KNOW! THIS LADY HAS MADE MILLIONS IN THE REALESTATE BUSINESS BUT HAS NEVER LEARNED HOW TO USE A COMPUTER, SHE PAYS CPAs AND ACCOUNTANTS TO WATCH OVER HER ASSETS AND JUST ENJOYS LIFE! BOB, HER HUSBAND DIED ABOUT TEN YEARS AGO, HE WAS AN ENGINEER AND TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING!
I WAS WRONG ABOUT THE HOLE IN TIMS KITCHEN, IT WAS 2FTX3FT AND HAS ALREADY BEEN FILLED IN WITH CONCRETE! THE PLUMBER PUT A 2-3FT PIECE OF SPECIAL PVC IN FOR REPAIRING CAST IRON PIPES AND WAS ONLY OBLIGATED TO FILL THE HOLE UP TO FLOOR LEVEL! NOW THE TILE, CARPETAND HARDWOOD FLOORING PEOPLE HAVE TO DO THEIR JOB THEN THEY MAY HAVE TO REPLACE ALL THE KITCHEN CABINETS, THE WATER SOAKED INTO THE BOTTOM EDGE AND TIM THINKS IT CREATED MOLD AND ROT BUT, THEY WON’T KNOW TILL THEY HAVE TO PULL THE BASE BOARD TO PUT THE TILE, CARPET AND WOOD FLOORING UNDER IT!
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
DADDY'S TRICK
THE LITTLE BOY GREETED HIS GRANDMOTHER WITH A HUG AND SAID, "I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU GRANDMA. NOW MAYBE DADDY WILL DO THE TRICK HE HAS BEEN PROMISING US."
THE GRANDMOTHER WAS CURIOUS.
"WHAT TRICK IS THAT MY DEAR?" SHE ASKED.
THE LITTLE BOY REPLIED, "I HEARD DADDY TELL MOMMY THAT HE WOULD CLIMB THE WALLS IF YOU CAME TO VISIT US AGAIN
TO BE “POLITICALLY CORRECT” WE’RE SUPPOSED TO REFER TO THESE PEOPLE AS “MOUNTAIN WILLIAMS” NOT HILLBILLIES!
WHAT'S IN THE BAG
TWO HILLBILLIES ARE WALKING DOWN DIFFERENT ENDS OF A STREET TOWARD EACH OTHER AND ONE IS CARRYING A SACK. WHEN THEY MEET, ONE SAYS, "HEY, TOMMY RAY, WHAT'CHA GOT IN TH' BAG?"
"JUS' SOME CHICKENS."
"IF I GUESS HOW MANY THERE ARE, CAN I HAVE ONE?"
"I'LL GIVE YOU BOTH OF THEM."
"OK. UMMMMM, FIVE?"
I THINK WE CAN ALL RELATE TO THIS!
COMFORTING
A MAN WAS SEEN FLEEING DOWN THE HALL OF THE HOSPITAL JUST BEFORE HIS OPERATION.
"WHAT'S THE MATTER?" HE WAS ASKED.
HE SAID, "I HEARD THE NURSE SAY, 'IT'S A VERY SIMPLE OPERATION, DON'T WORRY, I'M SURE IT WILL BE ALL RIGHT."
"SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO COMFORT YOU, WHAT'S SO FRIGHTENING ABOUT THAT?"
"SHE WASN'T TALKING TO ME. SHE WAS TALKING TO THE DOCTOR.
THAT’S “30”FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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