DAILY CHRONICLE #21 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 21 VOL 11

JUNE 21^ST 2008

WEATHER; WARM, MED HUMIDITY, 64/88 DEGREES

 

I WENT TO A MEETING OF A GROUP OF DAV MEMBERS WHO ARE TRYING TO GET A LOCAL CHAPTER GOING IN DURANT, OK. THE CLOSEST DAV OFFICE IS IN MUSKOGEE,OK WHICH IS ABOUT 150 MILES NORTH OF ME! NEEDLESS TO SAY, DURANT BEING 19 MILES NORTH WOULD BE A LOT BETTER! I CAN GO TO THE DAV OFFICER IN THE VA BUILDING IN BONHAM WHEN I’M OVER THERE BUT DURANT IS STILL A BETTER DEAL!

WE DISCUSSED WAYS TO GET SOME OF THESE IRAQ AND AFGANISTAN WOUNDED VETERANS TO START USING THE DAV! MOST OF THEM DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT “DAV” STANDS FOR OR HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THEM FOR HELP! YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE BEEN IN COMBAT OR SERVED IN A FOREIGN LAND TO BE ELLIGABLE FORMEMBERSHIP! ALL YOU NEED TO BE A MEMBER IS INJURED WHILE SERVING FOR 90 CONSECATIVE DAYS ON ACTIVE DUTY IN ANY BRANCH OF THE MILITARY INCLUDING THE COAST GUARD! I TRIED FOR 48 YEARS TO HAVE THE VA DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY HEARING LOSS BUT THEY KEPT TURNING MY CLAIM DOWN BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T FIND MY MEDICAL RECORDS FROM THE TIME I ENLISTED TILL MY LAST TOUR! OF COURSE THEY COULDN’T, ALL MY RECORDS AND THOUSANDS OF OTHERS WERE LOST IN A FIRE IN THE VA OFFICE IN DENVER COLORADO IN 1973! THE DAV GOT ON IT AND I HAD MY DISABILITY IN LESS THAN 60 DAYS!

I’VE DECIDED TO DO WHAT I CAN TO HELP THEM GET ORGANIZED EVEN IF ALL I DO IS CALL MEMBERS TO REMIND THEM WHEN THE NEXT MEETING IS!

 

KELLY BOUGHT A 750 HONDA FROM MY BUDDY JIM HARMON TO RIDE BACK AND FORTH TO WORK! BUYING GAS FOR HIS PICKUP WAS KILLING HIM! INSTEAD OF $15-20 DOLLARS A DAY NOW IT’LL BE $4-5 DOLLARS A DAY! ASSUMING THE HONDA GETS ABOUT THE SAME MILEAGE MY TRIUMPH 650 BONNEVILLE GOT WHICH WAS 40-50 MPG IF I DIDN’T HOT ROD IT! IF I DID THEN THE MILEAGE WENT TO 20-25 MPG!

SIX-PACK

STEVE, BOB, AND JEFF WERE WORKING ON A VERY HIGH SCAFFOLDING ONE DAY WHEN SUDDENLY, STEVE FALLS OFF AND IS KILLED INSTANTLY. AFTER THE AMBULANCE LEAVES WITH STEVE'S BODY, BOB AND JEFF REALIZE THAT ONE OF THEM IS GOING TO HAVE TO TELL STEVE'S WIFE.

BOB SAYS HE'S GOOD AT THIS SORT OF SENSITIVE STUFF, SO HE VOLUNTEERS TO DO THE JOB. AFTER TWO HOURS HE RETURNS, CARRYING A SIX-PACK OF BEER.

"SO DID YOU TELL HER?" ASKS JEFF.

"YEP", REPLIED BOB.

"SAY, WHERE DID YOU GET THE SIX-PACK?"

BOB INFORMS JEFF, "SHE GAVE IT TO ME!"

"WHAT??" EXCLAIMS JEFF, "YOU JUST TOLD HER HER HUSBAND DIED AND SHE GAVE YOU A SIX-PACK??"

"SURE," BOB SAYS.

"WHY?" ASKS JEFF.

"WELL," BOB CONTINUES, "WHEN SHE ANSWERED THE DOOR, I ASKED HER, 'ARE YOU STEVE'S WIDOW?''WIDOW?', SHE SAID, 'NO, NO, YOU'RE MISTAKEN, I'M NOT A WIDOW!'

SO I SAID, "I'LL BET YOU A SIX-PACK YOU ARE!'"

BEER PRODUCERS

THERE'S A BIG CONFERENCE OF BEER PRODUCERS. AT THE END OF THE DAY, ALL OF THE PRESIDENTS OF ALL THE BEER COMPANIES DECIDE TO HAVE A DRINK IN A BAR.

THE PRESIDENT OF 'BUDWEISER' ORDERS A BUD, THE PRESIDENT OF 'MILLER' ORDERS A MILLER LITE, ADOLPH COORS ORDERS A COORS, AND THE LIST GOES ON.

THEN THE WAITRESS ASKS ARTHUR GUINNESS WHAT HE WANTS TO DRINK, AND MUCH TO EVERYBODY'S AMAZEMENT, MR. GUINNESS ORDERS A COKE!

"WHY DON'T YOU ORDER A GUINNESS?" HIS COLLEAGUES ASK.

"NAAH. IF YOU GUYS WON'T DRINK BEER, THAN NEITHER WILL I."

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD