DAILY CHRONICLE #22 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 22 VOL 11

JUNE 22^ND 2008

WEATHER; COOL THEN HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 65/97 DEGREES

 

WENT OUT AND SERVICED THE HUMMING BIRD FEEDERS AND FOR SOME REASON THERE WEREN’T ANY OF THE BIG CARPENTER ANTS DROWNED IN THE BOWLS!

I HAVEN’T REALLY FELT LIKE DOING ANY MORE CHECKING ON THE INTREPID! I’M THINKING WE MAY HAVE TO NURSE IT DOWN TO TIMS AND LEAVE IT FOR HIM TO WORK ON! HE KNOWS HOW TO READ THE DRB II AND ALSO SAYS HE’LL RENT THE MACHINE FROM AUTO ZONE (OF COURSE YOU PAY A $40.00 DEPOSIT BUT YOU GET IT BACK WHEN YOU BRING THE MACHINE BACK) TO CHANGE THE STRUTS AND SHOCKS! HE IS THE ONE WHO HAD THE INTAKE OFF AND PRETTY WELL KNOWS THE WAY TO PULL IT THE EASIEST! WE’LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALL THE WORK ON THE HOUSE TO GET DONE BEFORE HE CAN TAKE THE TIME TO WORK ON THE CAR! KELLY CAN’T SEEM TO FIND THE TIME HE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON WITH HIS HOUSE! HE SOLD HIS EL CAMINO AND CAVALIER AND THE HONDA GOLDWING AND BOUGHT A 750 HONDA FROM JAMES HARMON TO RIDE TO WORK1 THE PICKUP IS KILLING HIM IN GAS, THE BIKE SHOULD DO A LOT BETTER! MY 650 TRIUMPH BONNEVILLE GOT BETWEEN 40-50 MPG DEPENDING ON HOW I RODE IT SO I FIGURE THE HONDA SHOULD DO A LITTLE LESS THAT THAT, 35-45 WHICH BEATS THE HELL OUT OF 12-16 MPG!

 

MOM MADE 8:00 AM MASS BUT I STAYED HOME AND WATHED IT ON TV FROM NOTRA DAME BASILICA! NEXT SUNDAY, THE 29^TH WILL BE THE LAST MASS TELEVISED FROM THERE ON THE HALLMARK CHANNEL! THEY GAVE THEIR WEB SITE FOR INFORMATION WHERE YOU CAN FIND THE MASS ON THE LOCAL CHANNELS IN OUR AREA! I DON’T FEEL SO BAD WHEN I DON’T MAKE MASS WITH MOM IF I CAN WATCH IT ON TV!

 

OK, NOW I’VE GOT A COUPLE OF JOKES FROM ACRAMAX.

 

HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR

HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR, ORDERS A BEER, SITS DOWN AT ONE OF THE TABLES, AND STARTS READING HIS PAPER. THE BARTENDER IS A BIT SHOCKED BY ALL THIS, BUT POURS THE BEER, AND BRINGS IT OVER TO THE HORSE, WHO PROFFERS A TEN DOLLAR BILL FOR IT.

NOW THE BARMAN FIGURES THE HORSE ISN'T THAT BRIGHT, SO HE DECIDES TO PULL THE OLD 'SHORT-CHANGE' TRICK ON HIM. HE DULY GOES BACK TO THE HORSE WITH 1 DOLLAR. THE HORSE DOESN'T SAY A WORD.

THE HORSE EVENTUALLY FINISHES HIS BEER AND GOES UP TO THE BAR TO ORDER ANOTHER. THE BARTENDER SAYS TO HIM, "Y'KNOW, WE DON'T GET MANY HORSES IN HERE."

TO WHICH THE HORSE REPLIES, "AT NINE DOLLARS A BEER, I'M NOT SURPRISED!"

SCAVENGER HUNT

A WOMAN ANSWERED HER FRONT DOOR AND FOUND TWO LITTLE BOYS STANDING THERE HOLDING A LIST.

"LADY," ONE OF THEM EXPLAINED, "WE'RE ON A SCAVENGER HUNT, AND WE STILL NEED THREE GRAINS OF WHEAT, A PORK-CHOP BONE AND A PIECE OF USED CARBON PAPER TO EARN A DOLLAR."

"WOW," THE WOMAN REPLIED. "WHO SENT YOU ON SUCH A CHALLENGING SCAVENGER HUNT?"

TO WHICH THE LITTLE BOY REPLIED, "OUR BABYSITTER'S BOYFRIEND!

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

 

HOWARD