DAILY CHRONICLE #18 VOL 11

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 18 VOL 11

JUNE 18^TH 2008

WEATHER; COOL, LOW HUMIDITY, 68/86 DEGREES

 

I CHECKED BACK WITH R&D ABOUT THE RADIATOR FOR THE INTREPID AND THEY PULLED 3 BUT NONE OF THEM TESTED GOOD SO I’LL HAVE TO START CALLING ALL THE WRECKING YARDS TO SEE IF WE CAN FIND A GOOD ONE!

 

MOM AND I WENT OUT AND PUT UP SOME BRACKETS SO SHE COULD RUN TWINE BETWEEN THEM FOR HER GRAPES TO CLIMB ON! THERE’S ALREADY GRAPES ON SOME OF THE VINES AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A PRETTY GOOD HARVEST  EVEN THOUGH WE DON’T KNOW WHAT KIND OF GRAPES THEY ARE! WE ALSO FIXED ONE OF THE DOORS THAT PROTECT THE ITEMS WE STORED UNDER THE LAUNDRY ROOM, LUMBER, INSULATION, MOMS ELECTRIC LAWN MOWER AND WEED EATER!

TOMORROW WE’LL PROBABLY PUT UP SOME MORE INSULATING CURTAINS AROUND THE DECK! THE ROLL UP BAMBOO ONES DON’T BLOCK THE SUN OR HEAT LIKE WE THOUGHT THEY WOULD! MOM FOUND SOME WOVEN MATERIAL THAT COMES IN ROLLS , WE PUT A DOUBLE THICK PIECE UP WHERE THE AFTERNOON SUN BEATS IN AND WHEN YOU STEP IN BEHIND IT THE TEMPERATURE DROPS 10-15 EGREES SO THAT’S WHAT WILL BE ALL AROUND THE DECK DOWN TO 41/2 FT!

 

I MENTIONED THE HOLE IN TIMS KITCHEN THAT THE PLUMBER HAD FILLED WITH CONCRETE! WELL, THEY CAME BACK TO DO A LEAK TEST AND FOUND ONE MORE LEAK ABOUT 3 FT FROM THE ONE THEY REPAIRED AND A SECOND ONE UNDER THE FLOOR IN THE MASTER BATHROOM! THEY CAN’T TEST FOR ANY MORE LEAKS TILL THEY FIX THOSE TWO! TALK ABOUT PUTTING THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE, NOW THEY’VE GOT TO DIG THE NEW CONCRETE OUT TO GET AT THE ONE NEAR THE OPENING BUT ALSO BREAK THE FLOOR OUT OF THE MASTER BATHROOM TO FIND THAT LEAK! I HAVEN’T FIGURED OUT IF THEY’RE ACTUALLY THAT STUPID OR ARE MILKING THE INSURANCE COMPANY! I’M SURE THE INSURANCE COMPANY ISN’T GOING TO PAY TWICE FOR THESE REPAIRS! AT LEAST I WOULD HOPE NOT!

 

I WENT OUT THIS EVENING AND PUT A VACUMM GUAGE ON THE INTREPID TO SEE IF WE HAD A VACUMM LEAK AROUND THE INTAKE!  EVIDENTLY WE DON’T, IT HELD 17 INCHES OF VACUMM ON IDLE AND WHEN I RAN IT UP AND LET OFF IT CLIMBED TO 21 INCHES WHICH IS GOOD! I JUST HAVE A FEELING I’VE GOT TO FIND THAT “AIR TEMPERATURE SENSOR”, ACCORDING TO PEGGY IT COULD BE THE PROBLEM IF IT’S BAD LIKE THE ONE IN HER RACE CAR!

 

OK, HERE’S A COUPLE OF JOKES FROM ACARMAX!

 

HARD TIME TELLER

A GUY WALKS INTO A BANK AND SAYS TO THE TELLER AT THE WINDOW, "I WANT TO OPEN A BLANKETY-BLANK CHECKING ACCOUNT"

TO WHICH THE LADY REPLIED, "I BEG YOUR PARDON, WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"LISTEN UP DARN IT, I SAID I WANT TO OPEN A BLANKETY-BLANK CHECKING ACCOUNT RIGHT NOW."

"SIR, I'M SORRY BUT WE DO NOT TOLERATE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE IN THIS BANK!"

THE TELLER LEFT THE WINDOW AND WENT OVER TO THE BANK MANAGER AND TOLD HIM ABOUT HER SITUATION. THEY BOTH RETURNED AND THE MANAGER ASKED, "WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM HERE?"

"THERE'S NO DARN PROBLEM," THE MAN SAID, "I JUST WON 50 MILLION IN THE LOTTERY AND I WANT TO OPEN A BLANKETY-BLANK CHECKING ACCOUNT IN THIS DAMN BANK!"

"I SEE SIR," THE MANAGER SAID, "AND THIS WENCH IS GIVING YOU A HARD TIME?"

DEALING WITH BRIBES

TAKING HIS SEAT IN HIS CHAMBERS, THE JUDGE FACED THE OPPOSING LAWYERS. "SO," HE SAID, "I HAVE BEEN PRESENTED, BY BOTH OF YOU, WITH A BRIBE." BOTH LAWYERS SQUIRMED UNCOMFORTABLY. "YOU, ATTORNEY LEON, GAVE ME $15,000. AND YOU, ATTORNEY CAMPOS, GAVE ME $10,000."

THE JUDGE REACHED INTO HIS POCKET AND PULLED OUT A CHECK. HE HANDED IT TO LEON ... "NOW THEN, I'M RETURNING $5,000, AND WE'RE GOING TO DECIDE THIS CASE SOLELY ON ITS MERITS."

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD