HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 15 VOL 12
JULY 15TH 2008
WEATHER; WARM, LOW HUMIDITY, 63/88 DEGREES
I WENT OUT AND CHECKED THE INTREPID OVER! THERE’S PART OF THE CRANKSHAFT SENSOR PLUG MISSING, THE LATCH THAT KEEPS IT PLUGGED IN TIGHT, THE VOLTAGE IS 2.5, SHOULD BE 3.0-8.0! THE PLUG FOR THE CAMSHSFT SENSOR IS TIGHT THE VOLTAGE IS 9.72, WAY TO HIGH! I SEPERATED THE 60 PIN PLUG FROM THE PCM AND LET IT SET FOR 50 MINUTES, HOOKED IT BACK UP AND STARTED THE ENGINE, NO CHANGE, RUNS LIKE CRAP!
I WAS GOING TO R&D TODAY TO GET ANOTHER PLUG FOR THE CRANKSHAFT SENSOR BUT I WAITED TOO LONG AND I MAY GET A CHANCE TO GO TOMORROW AFTER LUNCH! I ALSO WANT TO LOOK AT A DASHBOARD THAT’S HANGING LOSE TO SEE WHERE THE FLASHER IS LOCATED! I NEED TO GO BACK OUT IN THE MORNING TO UNPLUG THE IGNITION COIL I FORGOT TO DO IT TODAY! THAT’S ONE OF THE THINGS THEY WROTE UP; THE #2 PRIMARY WASN’T SENDING A SIGNAL TO THE PCM! I MAY SEE ABOUT BORROWING A COIL FROM R&D TO CHECK IT OUT!
MOM MAILED THE LETTER TO HOYTE TODAY! NOW WE’LL SEE IF HE RESPONDS TO IT! IF HE DOESN’T I’M GOING TO WRITE CHRYSLER P.R. AND SEE IF THEY RESPOND! I KNOW THEY DON’T LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT BAD SERVICE IN ONE OF THEIR PREMIRE DEALERSHIPS!
CHRYSLER LLC JUST RECOGNIZED HOYTE DODGE AS IT’S SOUTHWEST BUSINESS CENTER DEALERSHIP! I WONDER HOW CHRYSLER WILL REACT TO THE PROBLEM WE WROTE HOYTE ABOUT! IF HE DOESN’T RESPOND CHRYSLER WILL GET A COPY OF THE LETTER, THE BILL AND THE HAND WRITTEN ANALYZER REPORT! I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS JUST DIE! WE TOOK THEM A DECENT RUNNING CAR AND GOT BACK A PIECE OF CRAP AND THEIR PEOPLE TRIED TO BLAME IT ON THE WIRING! IT RAN GOOD ENOUGH TO GET IT IN THEIR SHOP TO BE WORKED ON THEN COULD JUST BARELY RUN GOOD ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF THEIR SHOP! AND THEY TURNED ME LOSE WITH IT!
MISFORTUNE
AFTER THE SERMON WAS OVER, ONE MEMBER OF THE CONGREGATION HAD LINGERED AFTER THE OTHER MEMBERS HAD SHOOK HANDS WITH THE MINISTER ON THEIR WAY OUT. THE MINISTER RECOGNIZED THE YOUNG MAN AS ONE WHOM HE HAD MARRIED A COUPLE OF MONTHS BEFORE.
AS THE YOUNG MAN SHOOK HANDS WITH THE MINISTER, HE ASKED, "REVEREND, DO YOU BELIEVE SOMEONE SHOULD PROFIT FROM THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS?"
"CERTAINLY NOT," REPLIED THE PREACHER.
"WELL, IN THAT CASE, COULD I HAVE THE $50 BACK THAT I GAVE YOU FOR MARRYING ME?"
RETIRED PREACHER
A PREACHER RETIRED AND MOVED TO THE COUNTRY TO ENJOY LIFE AND PRACTICE HIS HOBBY OF YARD WORK. NEEDING A LAWN MOWER, HE HEADED INTO TOWN TO BUY ONE. ON THE WAY HE SAW A SIGN ADVERTISING A LAWN MOWER FOR SALE. HE STOPPED AT THE HOUSE AND A YOUNG LAD CAME OUT TO GREET HIM.
THE PREACHER ASKED ABOUT THE LAWN MOWER AND THE KID SAID IT WAS BEHIND THE HOUSE. THE TWO WENT TO LOOK AT THE LAWN MOWER. THE ENGINE WAS SPUTTERING ALONG AT IDLE SPEED. THE PREACHER INCREASED THE SPEED OF THE ENGINE AND MOWED A FEW STRIPS. SATISFIED THAT THE MOWER WOULD DO THE JOB THEY SETTLED ON A PRICE OF $25.00.
LATER IN THE DAY, THE YOUNG LAD WAS RIDING HIS BICYCLE WHEN HE SPIED THE PREACHER PULLING ON THE ENGINE STARTER ROPE. THE KID STOPPED AND WATCHED FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES. HE ASKED, "WHAT'S WRONG?"
THE REPLY CAME, "I CAN'T GET THIS MOWER STARTED. DO YOU KNOW HOW?"
THE KID SAID, "YEP."
"WELL, HOW DO YOU DO IT? TELL ME!", THE PREACHER YELLED.
THE KID REPLIED, "YOU HAVE TO CUSS IT."
THE PREACHER ROSE UP INDIGNANTLY. "NOW YOU LISTEN HERE. I AM A PREACHER AND IF I EVER DID CUSS, NOT SAYING I HAVE, I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO DO IT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS."
WITH A WISE LOOK ON HIS FACE WELL BEYOND HIS YEARS, THE KID SAID, "PREACHER, YOU KEEP ON PULLING THAT ROPE AND IT'LL ALL COME BACK TO YA."
NEW SPORT
FIRST MAN: MY WIFE SUGGESTED THAT I TAKE UP A NEW SPORT THIS SUMMER.
SECOND MAN: WELL, THAT'S NICE. IT SHOWS THAT SHE HAS YOUR INTERESTS AT HEART. DID SHE MAKE ANY SUGGESTIONS?
FIRST MAN: AS A MATTER OF FACT, SHE DID. BY THE WAY, HOW DO YOU PLAY THIS RUSSIAN ROULETTE?
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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