DAILY CHRONICLE #9 vOL 12

HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE

NUMBER 9 VOL 12

JULY 9^TH 2008

WEATHER; HOT, LOW HUMIDITY, 73/94 DEGREES

 

WE WENT TO R&D TODAY TO GET A PAIR OF HEADLIGHTS FOR THE INTREPID BUT THEY’RE CLOSED FOR VACATION AND WILL OPEN NEXT MONDAY, I SHOULD HAVE CALLED! WHEN WE GOT HOME I CALLED AUTO ZONE AND THEY WOULD HAVE TO ORDER THEM IN AT $69.99 EACH SO I TOLD THEM I’D HAVE TO GO TO A WRECKING YARD! I CALLED RED RIVER AUTO WRECKING BUT THEY DON’T HAVE ANY! IN THE MEAN TIME WE DECIDED TO PUT A FLASHER IN THE INTREPID, THE TURN AND HAZARD FUSES ARE GOOD SO I’M THINKING FLASHER! I TRIED TO FIND IT, MOM TRIED AND KELLY TRIED BUT NONE OF US HAS FOUND IT YET! IT’S NOT WHERE THE BOOK SAYS IT IS SO I READ A LITTLE FURTHER, THE LAST SENTENANCE SAYS; “IF YOU CAN NOT HEAR A CLICK WHEN YOU TURN ON THE TURN SIGNAL OR THE 4-WAYS THERE’S A DEFECTIVE BULB IN THE SYSTEM!” I LOOKED IN THE FRONT PARKING LIGHTS AND EVERYTHING WAS OK, I WENT TO THE LEFT REAR AND ON PARKING LIGHTS THEY ALL LOOKED OK THEN, I WENT TO THE RIGHT REAR AND IT DIDN’T LOOK AS BRIGHT AS THE LEFT SO MOM AND I PULLED THE ASSEMBLY AND FOUND A BLOWN ELEMENT IN THE STOP/TURN BULB! THESE ARE THE NEW TYPE BULBS WITH A SPECIAL BAKELITE BASE WHICH OF COURE WE DON’T HAVE ANY OF BUT, WE’LL GET SOME TOMORROW!

 

I’VE NEVER OWNED A CAR THAT THE FLASHERS WASN’T ACCESSABLE EASILY, BUT NOT THE ACCLAIM OR INTREPID! ON THE ACCLIAM YOU HAVE TO DISMANTAL THE BOTTOM OF THE LEFT SIDE OF THE DASH TO FIND IT, THEN IT’S HOOKED TO A SUPPORT BRACE ON THE BACK SIDE AWAY FROM WHERE YOU’RE LOOKING BUT KELLY FOUND IT! ON THE INTREPID IT SAYS IT’S BETWEEN THE BRAKE PEDAL AND THE FUSE PANEL, NOT THAT WE CAN FIND! UNTIL WE FOUND THE BLOWN BULB I HAD DECIDED TO TAKE IT TO THE DODGE DEALER IN SHERMAN AND LET THEM FIND IT BUT IF THE BULB FIXES THE PROBLEM I WON’T HAVE TOO!

 

KELLY WORKED ON THE ACCLAIM TODAY AND GOT THE HEATER CORE AND A/C EVAPERATOR OUT! THIS IS A HELL OF A JOB AND WE’LL PAY KELLY FOR DOING IT! THIS ISN’T LIKE CHANGING OIL OR FIXING A TIRE THIS IS SPECIALIZED WORK! THE BOOK GIVES 6 HOURS FOR AN EXPERIENCED A/C MECHANIC, AT $50.00 PER HR., WHICH IS WHAT THE SHOP RATE AROUND HERE IS THAT’S $300.00 LABOR PLUS $155.89 +TAX FOR PARTS TO FIX THE A/C IN A 91 CAR WORTH MAYBE $150.00 ACROSS THE SCALES! OF COURSE WE WOULDN’T TAKE THAT FOR THE CAR UNLESS IT WAS WRECKED OR A MAJOR BREAK DOWN OCCURRED!

 

I WAS WATCHING THE WEATHER ON CNN AND THEY SHOWED LANCASTER, CA. WHERE PEGGY LIVES TO BE UNDER MAJOR FIRE WARNING ALERT! THE RED EXTENDS ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE COAST INCLUDING THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY AND OVER THE MOUNTAINS TO THE MALABU CANYON WHERE “MASH” WAS FILMED! IF IT’S NOT FLOODING IT’S FIRE AND THIS HAPPENS EVERY YEAR BUT, PEOPLE GO BACK, REBUILD AND DO THE SAME THING THE NEXT YEAR OR MAYBE TWO YEARS LATER! I THANK GOD I HAD THE GOOD SENSE TO LEAVE CALIFORNIA IN 1953-54, I DON’T MIND GOING BACK FOR A VISIT ONCE IN A WHILE AND THOSE DAYS ARE EVEN GONE! MY BROTHER JERRY LEFT AND MOVED TO NEVADA AND IS GLAD HE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE!

 

TIMED MEDICINE

A PHARMACIST IS GOING OVER THE DIRECTIONS ON A PRESCRIPTION BOTTLE WITH AN ELDERLY PATIENT. "BE SURE NOT TO TAKE THIS MORE OFTEN THAN EVERY 4 HOURS," THE PHARMACIST SAYS.

"DON'T WORRY," REPLIES THE PATIENT. "IT TAKES ME 4 HOURS TO GET THE LID OFF".

 

YOUNG PHYSICIST

A YOUNG PHYSICIST, UPON LEARNING THAT HE WAS DENIED TENURE AFTER SIX PRODUCTIVE YEARS AT A UNIVERSITY IN SAN FRANCISCO, REQUESTED A MEETING WITH THE PROVOST FOR AN EXPLANATION, AND A POSSIBLE APPEAL.

AT THE MEETING, THE PROVOST TOLD THE YOUNG PHYSICIST, "I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU THAT THE NEEDS OF THE UNIVERSITY HAVE SHIFTED SOMEWHAT, DURING THE PAST SIX-YEARS LEADING UP TO YOUR TENURE DECISION. IN POINT OF FACT, WHAT WE NOW REQUIRE IS A FEMALE, CONDENSED-MATTER EXPERIMENTALIST. UNFORTUNATELY, YOU ARE A MALE, HIGH-ENERGY THEORIST!"

DEJECTED BUT NOT DEFEATED, THE YOUNG PHYSICIST THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF THE PROVOST'S WORDS. "SIR," HE SAID, "I WOULD BE WILLING TO CONVERT IN TWO OF THE THREE CATEGORIES YOU MENTION, BUT ... I'LL NEVER AGREE TO BECOME AN EXPERIMENTALIST!"

 

THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.

HOWARD