HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 21 VOL 12
JULY 21ST 2008
WEATHER; HOT MED HUMIDITY, 73/99 DEGREES
WE GOT UP AND WENT TO 8AM MASS THEN BREAKFAST AT THE LOCAL RESTAURANT HERE, BOBBY’S! THEY SURE DON’T WANT YOU TO GO AWAY HUNGRY. I HAD TO BRING SOME OF MINE HOME IN A DOGGIE BOX!
WE WERE GOING TO TAKE THE INTREPID TO TOWN AND GO BY SHANNONS THEN TO THE STORE BUT WHILE I WAS PUTTING INJECTOR CLEANER IN THE GAS TANK I LOOKED DOWN AND THE RIGHT REAR TIRE IS FLAT! NEITHER MOM NOR I ARE ABLE TO JACK IT UP TO GET IT OFF AND TAKE IT TO BE FIXED SO I WAITED TILL KELLY GOT HOME AND ASKED HIM TO CHECK IT OUT! HE HAD IT FIXED BEFORE 6PM BUT, WE DIDN’T TAKE THE INTREPID OUT LIKE WE WERE GOING TO! I GOT A CALL FROM BILL MASON AND HE WAS ON 287 NORTH OF WHITCHATA FALLS HEADED OUR WAY! HE GOT HERE ABOUT 9:30 PM! WE SAT AND VISITED FOR A WHILE AND MOM WANTED TO KNOW IF SHE COULD GET US ANYTHING BEFORE SHE WENT TO BED AND I ASKED HER IF SHE WAS GOING TO MAKE UP THE COUCH FOR BILL? SHE LOOKED AT HIM THEN BACK AT ME AND BILL SAID, “I’M TAKEN CARE OF, DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME,” I LOOKED AT HIM AND HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO SLEEP IN HIS COACH! MOM SAID I DIDN’T SEE WHAT HE DROVE IN WITH, A 22 FT MINI MOTOR HOME, TOP OF THE LINE WINNABAGO, A RIALTO WIDE BODY MODEL (3 FEET WIDER THAN THE NORMAL ONES)! HE TOOK ME OUT TO LOOK AT IT, IF YOU’VE NEVER BEEN IN ONE YOU NEED TO GO FIND ONE AND LOOK AT IT! I NEVER REALIZE HOW COMPACT THESE THING WERE, AND FUNCTIONAL! IT’S GOT A VW V6 ENGINE, GETS 17-21 MPG AND HE SAYS NO MATTER WHAT IT DOESN’T WANDER ALL OVER THE ROAD!
TOMORRW I’LL TAKE HIM AND WE’LL GO RUNNING AROUND IN THE INTREPID, I WANT TO SEE IF THE INJECTOR CLEANER DOES ANY GOOD! AND TIM SAID HE ADJUSTED THE TRANSMISSION ITH THE DRB II, IT’S AMAZING WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH THAT PIECE OF EQUIPMENT!
LOOPHOLES
A LAWYER WAS ON HIS DEATHBED IN HIS BEDROOM, AND HE CALLED TO HIS WIFE. SHE RUSHED IN AND SAID, "WHAT IS IT, HONEY?"
HE TOLD HER TO RUN AND GET THE BIBLE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. BEING A RELIGIOUS WOMAN, SHE THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA. SHE RAN AND GOT IT, PREPARED TO READ HIM HIS FAVORITE VERSE OR SOMETHING OF THE SORT. HE SNATCHED IT FROM HER AND BEGAN QUICKLY SCANNING PAGES, HIS EYES DARTING RIGHT AND LEFT.
THE WIFE WAS CURIOUS, SO SHE ASKED, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, HONEY?"
HE SHOUTED "I'M LOOKING FOR LOOPHOLES!"
HER FIRST DEER
AS PART OF THEIR "RANCH" HOLIDAY, A GUY TAKES HIS WIFE HUNTING. WHEN THEY REACH THEIR DEER BLINDS, THE GUY SAYS, "IF YOU SHOOT A DEER, BE SURE YOU DON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE SAY HE'S THE ONE WHO SHOT IT. OTHERWISE, HE'LL TAKE THE DEER FROM YOU. THE DEER BELONGS TO WHOEVER SHOOTS IT."
THE GUY GOES TO HIS OWN BLIND. TEN MINUTES LATER, HE HEARS HIS WIFE SHOOTING FROM HER BLIND NEARBY.
HE RUSHES OVER AND FINDS HER POINTING HER RIFLE AT A COWBOY WHO'S SHOUTING, "OKAY, LADY, OKAY! YOU CAN HAVE THE DEER! JUST LEMME GET MY SADDLE OFF IT!"
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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