HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER 24 VOL 12
JULY 24TH 2008
WEATHER; HOT, HIGH HUMIDITY, 73/98 DEGREES
NOT MUCH GOING ON TODAY! WE’RE GOING TO TAKE BILL OUT TO DINNER AT “THE LOOSE WHEEL!” WE’RE SURE HE’LL ENJOY IT WITH THE HUGE MOTORCYCLE THEY HAVE OUT IN FRONT TO THE LITTLE MO-PED THEY HAVE HANGING FOM THE WALL TO THE BEAUTIFUL CHOPPER THEY HAVE GOING AROUND ON THE TURN TABLE ON THE ROOF OF THE BAR! IT’S A REAL EXPERIENCE AND THE PRICES ARE RIGHT FOR THE FOOD!
AS WE WALKED UP TO THE ENTRANCE WE MET OUR OLD BANKER, CLYDE TODD. ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS HE SAID TO ME WAS “I WISH YOU WERE STILL IN THE AUTO ELECTRIC BUSINESS!” WE VISITED FOR A WHILE AND HE RELATED TO ME ALL THE PROBLEMS HE’S HAVING WITH HIS 1941 CHEVY! I GAVE HIM MY PHONE NUMBER AND TOLD HIM TO GIVE ME A CALL AND MAYBE WE COULD GET TOGETHER WE PARTED AND WENT INSIDE TO GET DINNER!
CLYDE IS AN OLD CAR BUFF AND HAS RESTORED A 1941 CHEVY 4 DOOR! HE ADDED A 1967 CORVETTE ENGINE AND HAD A SPECIAL WIRING HARNESS BUILT FOR IT SO HE COULD USE AN 1988 CORVETTE COMPUTER SYSTEM. (WHY I DON’T KNOW) BUT HE’S HAVING ELECTRICALPROBLEMS WITH IT! IT BURNS OUT AN ALTERNATOR EVERY 5-6 MONTH AND NOW, IF HE LEAVES THE BATTERY CONNECTED IT RUNS DOWN OVER NIGHT! THE ALTERNATOR AND THE BATTERY GOING DEAD WON’T BE A BIG PROBLEM BUT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE COMPUTER OR THE CROSS BREEDING OF THE ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS MAY TAKE A LITTLE MORE THINKING ON MY PART! HE MENTIONED IT HAS A SLIGHT HESITATION COMING AWAY FROM A STOP (LIKE A BAD ACCELERATOR PUMP IN THE OLD CARBURATOR SYSTEM) AND I MENTIONED IT COULD BE THE PICK UP PLATE IN THE DISTRIBUTOR BUT HE SAID HE ALREADY CHANGED THAT SO, THAT’S ANOTHER THING I’LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT!
IT SURE WAS GOOD TO HAVE SOMEBODY WHO KNEW WHAT I DID FOR A LIVING FOR SO LONG REMEMBERED ME AND HAD ENOUGH CONFIDENCE IN ME TO ASK FOR MY HELP!
BILL IS LEAVING EARLY IN THE MORNING SO WE SAID OUR GOOD- BYS THIS EVENING! HE BROUGHT US A NIGHT LIGHT THAT HAS MOVING FISH IN IT THEN TONIGHT HE GAVE ME A CHINESE PUZZLE AND A NEW BELT WITH A SLIP BUCKLE AND ADJUSTMENT FOR SIZE! I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT FROM HIM, IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A BIRTHDAY OR CHRISTMAS HE JUST LIKE GIVING AND DOING THINGS FOR FRIENDS AND PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE IT!
LAST NIGHT AT COLLEEN AND DICKS HE DID SOME MAGIC AND TOLD SOME OF HIS FAMOUS STORIES! HE NEVER TALKS ABOUT THINGS HE HAS DONE BUT THINGS OTHER PEOPLE HAVE DONE! WORKING IN THE MOVIE STUDIOS AND WITH THE ACTORS HE COULD PROBABLY TELL SOME PRETTY WILD STORIES ABOUT CELEBRITIES BUT HE DOESN’T, HE JUST MAKES REMARKS LIKE, “OH YEAH, I WORKED WITH JOHN WAYNE ON SUCH AND SUCH A MOVIE! NOT THAT HE WAS IN THE MOVIE WITH JOHN WAYNE BUT THAT HE DROVE HIS MOTOR HOME TO THE SET OR HE HAD TO GO DRIVE HIS NEW CAR FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER! HE’S LIKE GARY LATINIS, WHEN THEY WANT SOMEBODY TO HAUL A LOAD OR DO SOMETHING SPECIAL THEY CALL ON PEOPLE LIKE BILL AND GARY, PEOPLE WHO ARE CAREFUL AND CONSIDERATE!
DRIVING OFFENSE
THE POLICEMAN COULDN'T BELIEVE HIS EYES AS HE SAW THE WOMAN DRIVE PAST HIM, BUSILY KNITTING. QUICKLY HE PULLED ALONG THE VEHICLE, WOUND DOWN HIS WINDOW AND SHOUTED "PULL OVER!"
"NO" SHE REPLIED, "THEY'RE SOCKS!"
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BOOKED A CHEAP FLIGHT WHEN?
AS YOU BOARD THE PLANE, YOU NOTICE THE CO-PILOT IS FROWNING AND WEARING AN "I'M WITH STUPID" T-SHIRT.
THE CAPTAIN ANNOUNCES OVER THE INTERCOM THE FLIGHT IS DELAYED WHILE HE LOOKS FOR HIS KEYS.
THE AIRLINE MECHANICS, WEARING PROPELLER BEANIES, SEEM TO BE POINTING AND LAUGHING AN AWFUL LOT, AND DRINKING SOMETHING FROM INSIDE BROWN PAPER BAGS.
THE GROUND CREW ARE SEEN USING PENNIES TO CHECK TIRE WEAR
A MAN WITH AN OILY RAG HANGING FROM THE BACK POCKET OF HIS DIRTY COVERALLS, AND SADLY SHAKING HIS HEAD, TURNS OUT TO BE THE AIRLINE'S C.E.O.
A VOICE ON P.A. SYSTEM WARNS YOU TO KEEP YOUR HEADS AND ARMS INSIDE THE AIRCRAFT AT ALL TIMES, WHILE THE PLANE IS IN MOTION.
JUMPER CABLES ARE DANGLING FROM THE DOOR TO THE COCKPIT.
A MAN IN CLERICAL GARB WALKS THRU THE PLANE SPRINKLES ALL THE PASSENGERS WITH WATER, MUMBLING SOMETHING IN LATIN THEN EXITS LAUGHING.
A TELEPHONE WITH A REALLY LONG CORD CONNECTS THE PLANE TO THE CONTROL TOWER.
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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