HOWARD’S DAILY CHRONICLE
NUMBER22 VOL 2
JULY 22 2008
WEATHER; HOT, MEDIMUM HUMIDITY,74/99 DEGREES
BILL GOT THE MOTOR HOME MOVED TO THE DRIVEWAY AND PUT THE BLOCKS UNDER THE REAR WHEELS AND GOT WITH IN HALF A BUBBLE OF LEVEL! HE SAID THAT IS WITHIN WHAT’S NEEDED FOR THE REFRIGEATOR TO WORK!
BILL, MOM AND I GOT IN THE INTREPID AND TOOK A RIDE UP TO THE CHOCHTAW CASSINO COMPLEX FOR BILL TO SEE! HE WAS IMPRESSED WITH WHAT THEY HAVE ACCOMPOLISHED SINCE THE LAST TIME HE WAS HERE! THEN WE HEADED FOR LATINIS. WE GOT THERE JUST AS GARY JUST FINISHED UP PUTTING BOTH NEW MUFFLER’S ON THE PETERBILT, HE SAID HE’D NEVER HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN, THE FIRST ONES LASTED NINE YEARS AND HE FIGURED HE’D BE OUT OF THE BUSINESS BY THEN!
WE LEFT LATINIS AND HEADED HOME AND, THE CAR STARTED ACTING UP AGAIN! ON THE WAY TO CHOCTAW IT WAS ACTING UP BUT WHEN WE HEADED TO LATINIS FROM THERE IT STARTED RUNNING FINE, ALL THE WAY TO LATINIS I DIDN’T HAVE TO TOUCH THE ACCELERATOR ONCE EXCEPT COMING OFF A STOP BUT ONCE I GOT IT ON CRUISE IT WAS FINE! I TALKED TO MIKE AND HE SAID HE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THESE NEWER CARS SO I GUESS IT’S GOING TO BE UP TO ME TO FIGURE IT OUT AND THEN FIX IT!
BILL’S CLEANING UP HIS MOTOR HOME WHILE I GET CAUGHT UP ON THIS CHRONICLE! I WAS SO EXHAUSTED LAST NIGHT THAT I ALMOST FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR WHILE DOING THIS ONE, I’D FALLEN ASLEEP AND WAS LEANED BACK IN MY CHAIR WHEN I STARTED TO FALL OVER BACKWARDS AND WOKE UP! NEEDLESS TO SAY I WENT RIGHT TO BED AND GOT UP AT 7:15 THIS MORNING AND FELT FINE SO, NOW YOU KNOW WHY THIS CHRONICLE IS LATE GETTING TO YOU!
THIS EVENING WE’RE GOING TO GO VISIT COLLEEN AND DICK BUT, ON THE WAY BILL WANTS TO TAKE US OUT TO DINNER! HE SAYS HE WANTS TO REPAY MOM FOR THE GOOD MEALS SHE HAS BEEN FIXING FOR US! MOM SAYS THEY’RE NO DIFFERENT THAN SHE FIXES FOR HER AND I EVERYDAYI HAVE NO IDEA WHERE WE’LL GO!
TIM SAID THEY WOULD COME BACK UP ON STURDAY IF BILL WAS STILL HERE BUT, I THINK HE;S PLANNING ON LEAVING WEDNESDAY, HE ONLY HAS SO MANY MEDICATIONS FOR THE TRIP AND HE HAS TO GET HOME TO GET THE PRESCRIPTIOND REFILLED AND HIS DOCTORS TAKE CARE OF THAT!
I’M HOPING WE’LL HAVE A CHANCE TO GET OUT TO JIM AND CONNIE HARMONS! BILL REALLY LIKED THE THINGS JIM DOES! ESPECIALLY THAT JIM AND CONNIE BUILT THE HANGER BY THEM SELVES! HE HASN’T SEEN THE HOUSE THEY BUILT!
SLEEPING ROUGH
A POLICE CHIEF, A FIRE CHIEF AND A CITY MANAGER WERE TRAVELING TOGETHER BY CAR TO A MUNICIPAL MANAGEMENT CONFERENCE IN A DISTANT CITY. THEIR CAR BROKE DOWN IN A RURAL AREA, AND THEY WERE FORCED TO SEEK SHELTER FOR THE NIGHT AT A NEARBY FARMHOUSE.
THE FARMER WELCOMED THEM IN BUT CAUTIONED THEM THAT THERE WERE ONLY TWO SPARE BEDS, AND THAT ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE TO SLEEP IN THE BARN WITH THE FARM ANIMALS. AFTER A SHORT CONFERENCE, THE POLICE CHIEF AGREED TO TAKE THE BARN.
SHORTLY AFTER RETIRING, A KNOCK WAS HEARD ON THE DOOR OF THE FARMHOUSE. THE PARTY INSIDE ANSWERED TO FIND THE POLICE CHIEF STANDING THERE, COMPLAINING THAT HE COULD NOT SLEEP. THERE WERE PIGS IN THE BARN, HE SAID, AND HE WAS REMINDED OF THE DAYS WHEN EVERYONE CALLED HIM A PIG. THE FIRE CHIEF THEN VOLUNTEERED TO EXCHANGE WITH THE POLICE CHIEF.
A SHORT TIME LATER, ANOTHER KNOCK WAS HEARD AT THE DOOR. THE FIRE CHIEF COMPLAINED THAT THE COWS IN THE BARN REMINDED HIM OF MRS. O'LEARY'S COW THAT STARTED THE CHICAGO FIRE, AND THAT EVERY TIME HE STARTED TO GO TO SLEEP, HE STARTED TO HAVE A FIREMAN'S WORST NIGHTMARE, THAT OF BURNING TO DEATH. THE CITY ATTORNEY, IN DESPERATION FOR SLEEP, THEN AGREED TO SLEEP IN THE BARN.
THIS SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA UNTIL A FEW MINUTES LATER, WHEN ANOTHER KNOCK WAS HEARD AT THE DOOR. WHEN THE OCCUPANTS ANSWERED THE DOOR, THERE STOOD THE VERY INDIGNANT COWS AND PIGS.
PRESIDENTIAL ACCIDENT
ONE DAY THE PRESIDENT WAS OUT JOGGING AND ACCIDENTALLY FELL FROM A RIDGE INTO A VERY COLD RIVER. THREE BOYS, PLAYING ALONG THE RIVER, SAW THE ACCIDENT. WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT, THEY JUMPED IN THE WATER AND DRAGGED THE WET PRESIDENT OUT OF THE RIVER.
AFTER CLEANING UP HE SAID, "BOYS, YOU SAVED THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES TODAY. YOU DESERVE A REWARD. YOU NAME IT, I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU."
THE FIRST BOY SAID, "PLEASE, I'D LIKE A TICKET TO DISNEYLAND!"
"I'LL PERSONALLY HAND IT TO YOU," SAID MR. PRESIDENT.
"I'D LIKE A PAIR OF NIKE AIR TURBOS," THE SECOND BOY SAID.
"I'LL BUY THEM MYSELF AND GIVE THEM TO YOU," SAID THE GRATEFUL PRESIDENT.
"AND I'D LIKE A WHEELCHAIR WITH A STEREO IN IT," SAID THE THIRD BOY.
"I'LL PERSONALLY ... WAIT A SECOND, SON, YOU'RE NOT HANDICAPPED!"
"NO -- BUT I WILL BE WHEN MY DAD FINDS OUT I SAVED YOU FROM DROWNING."
THAT’S “30” FOR THIS ISSUE.
HOWARD
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